• Switching 'on' and 'off' in a loving relationship ( N00b query... )

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    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    I do like the the idea of being able to get our kink on... But then returning to our normal selves afterwards,Especially with a loving kiss and a cuddle after... That makes it seem so intimate!

    1284309528
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Seduced wrote:

    I do like the the idea of being able to get our kink on... But then returning to our normal selves afterwards,Especially with a loving kiss and a cuddle after... That makes it seem so intimate!

    That's the beauty of dom/sub relationships - they can be so intimate - trusting a person so completely that you let them take control of you is pretty intimate so afterwards all those loved up feelings rush over you!

    Adx

    1284309593
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Seduced wrote:

    I do like the the idea of being able to get our kink on... But then returning to our normal selves afterwards,Especially with a loving kiss and a cuddle after... That makes it seem so intimate!

    One simple and effective way to distinguish between normal "couple time" and "kinky time" is to have a particular outfit or item that you reserve only for fettish playtime. E.g a slave collar... Love honey have some nice ones:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17095

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18916

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15811

    Once the collar is on, the sub/dom fun can begin...once it's off, business as usual

    xxKPxx

    1284309759
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    Seduced wrote:

    I do like the the idea of being able to get our kink on... But then returning to our normal selves afterwards,Especially with a loving kiss and a cuddle after... That makes it seem so intimate!

    One simple and effective way to distinguish between normal "couple time" and "kinky time" is to have a particular outfit or item that you reserve only for fettish playtime. E.g a slave collar... Love honey have some nice ones:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17095

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18916

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=15811

    Once the collar is on, the sub/dom fun can begin...once it's off, business as usual

    xxKPxx

    Great idea - that would be useful for initiating without embarrassment too - sub can put the collar on when they want play, or dom can hand them the collar to start it.

    Adx

    1284310479
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    As someone in a D/s relationship, I can guarantee it's not all kink, all the time -- even for us, who are lifestyle Dom/sub.


    For example, I pulled a muscle in my back last night and so this morning my Dom has been running about like a nursemaid after me - he even had to put on my socks! There's no right or wrong way to do these things, 'no one true path' as they say. Whatever works for you, Seduced, is what matters.

    Honestly, it're really and truly not that complicated to navigate. If you know your partner, you'll know what sort of mood they're in, whether they're feeling domly or submissive, kinky or cranky. It's the same as knowing whether they need a hug or want some time alone... and saying 'no' or 'maybe later' is just as normal.

    1284312532
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for all the great and helpful replies.

    Another stupid question lol...

    Do those of you that are in D/s or similar relationships, At times make love as equals aswell?

    Actually, I think I just answered my own question by reading above lol!!!

    1284312624
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Seduced wrote:

    Thanks for all the great and helpful replies.

    Another stupid question lol...

    Do those of you that are in D/s or similar relationships, At times make love as equals aswell?

    Actually, I think I just answered my own question by reading above lol!!!

    Lol sure they do, there are no set rules.

    1284313219
    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    Seduced wrote:

    Thanks for all the great and helpful replies.

    Another stupid question lol...

    Do those of you that are in D/s or similar relationships, At times make love as equals aswell?

    Actually, I think I just answered my own question by reading above lol!!!

    Personally, we don't really. But we never have, it's always been D/s for us. Even if there's no spanking or power play... it's still D/s because that's just "us". But there's no reason you couldn't -- we just prefer it the way we prefer it :)

    I think the crux of the whole thing is that the D/s apect of the relationship is, in essence, a game. It's a game we've both agreed to play full-time that we've made up the rules for... but it's still a game. And we both know that underneath, we're both equal human beings who have real needs and those must be respected and fulfilled. Some of those needs are fulfilled by the game, others are not -- but the person is more important than the game. If you have to put the game on hold for a day, or on the back-burner, well that's ok. You can pick it up and put it down again when you need to. Hope that makes sense :/

    1284313328
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    MasqueradeMinx wrote:

    Seduced wrote:

    Thanks for all the great and helpful replies.

    Another stupid question lol...

    Do those of you that are in D/s or similar relationships, At times make love as equals aswell?

    Actually, I think I just answered my own question by reading above lol!!!

    Lol sure they do, there are no set rules.

    Hehe. What am I like?, Love the new pic ;)

    1284313499
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Seduced wrote:

    MasqueradeMinx wrote:

    Seduced wrote:

    Thanks for all the great and helpful replies.

    Another stupid question lol...

    Do those of you that are in D/s or similar relationships, At times make love as equals aswell?

    Actually, I think I just answered my own question by reading above lol!!!

    Lol sure they do, there are no set rules.

    Hehe. What am I like?, Love the new pic ;)

    Thanks sweetie no two d/s relationships are the same, some are full time like shelly others arent. Some swap roles, some just keep to one, some stop d/s relationships for more equal. It all depends on the people involved.

    1284313652
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    And as KP said, if you just want d/s relationships sometimes, then use something to represent that, whoever wears the collar is the sub etc.

    You just have to find out whats right for both of you d/s wise and enjoy finding out

    1284313737
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    I always had a thing for bdsm but was always put off by a lot of the questions in my head lol!

    Now I feel much more relaxed about the whole thing, Thanks to you wonderful people ;)

    No more hang ups for me.

    Just hope 'J' comes to feel the same way as me about it... I don't care if it takes 20 years, All I know is it would be soooo good with her!

    Paul

    1284314613
    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Thats great seduced, go slow and communicate. Glad we have all helped.

    Loving the pic

    1284318550
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    Hehe me too! Slowely Slowely is my new way of life ;)

    Yeh the pic I thought was funny yet kinky all at once, Plus I adore face sitting. f on m.

    J may be taking a few photo's of me tonight in what I hope will be an 'artistic' extremely light bdsm style photograph. Though it won't be leading anywhere. Unless of course J wants it too mwuhahaha

    Paul

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    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya Seduced =).

    I am what u would call submissive, this is when my OH and I choose to take on the sub/dom roles in our sexual relationship. We are very equal in our everyday relationship and our sex lives arnt always filled with BDSM tendancies, we choose when we will have a more kinky session and bring out the clamps, cuffs, blindfolds, floggers, whips etc. Most of the time we have rather vanilla sex without any kinky stuff but have fallen into a fantastic pattern of just knowing what mood were in by speaking to each other about what we like etc. The thing is that any sub/dom relationship can be as little or as much as you and your OH are happy.

    Hope this helps hun. Xxx

    1284319820
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    Yup, That helps a lot, And makes sense Malteser.

    The more I talk about it, And think about it, The more I really want to try it out.

    But I'm no kid in a candy store, I shall wait it out, Patiently and see what happens.

    Paul

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    sexy little minx [sign in to see picture]
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    Malteser81 wrote:

    Hiya Seduced =).

    I am what u would call submissive, this is when my OH and I choose to take on the sub/dom roles in our sexual relationship. We are very equal in our everyday relationship and our sex lives arnt always filled with BDSM tendancies, we choose when we will have a more kinky session and bring out the clamps, cuffs, blindfolds, floggers, whips etc. Most of the time we have rather vanilla sex without any kinky stuff but have fallen into a fantastic pattern of just knowing what mood were in by speaking to each other about what we like etc. The thing is that any sub/dom relationship can be as little or as much as you and your OH are happy.

    Hope this helps hun. Xxx

    I'm much the same with my OH although sometimes we switch. It usually starts with me being 'naughty' and him getting his 'bad head' on! It always ends with us cuddling up in bed, both happy and contented.

    1284321760
    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
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    sexy little minx wrote:

    I'm much the same with my OH although sometimes we switch. It usually starts with me being 'naughty' and him getting his 'bad head' on! It always ends with us cuddling up in bed, both happy and contented.

    Yes... us to hun, though usually giggling and me still calling him sir in a fun way =D

    1284382390
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    Thankyou Avrielle that is also interesting to know.

    I dont think I could be like it 24/7 But then its all new to me ;)

    1284485456
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey guys...

    Question for you this afternoon...

    Obviously there are.

    But are there any "Beginners Guide Too BDSM" that any of you would reccommend?

    Pref dvd/bluray format.

    Just thought maybe a light visual guide ( Similar to the Lovers guide etc ) May help

    us into the whole thing, And give us a taster and tips etc.

    Paul

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