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  1. is it best to lubricate the arse or the toy?

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    ali900 [sign in to see picture]
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    whats the best anal lube out there? (gonna buy some and its my first anal toy time - so do wanna make it slide right in) im thinkin between those de-sentizising lubes VS normal anal lubes ... hmm!

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    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    i wouldnt know when to use a douche as it the same as sexychich, when we start doing that its kind of spare of the moment, we dont plan it

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    Jake of Facts and Friction wrote:

    I really can't wait to try anal, I've had a fixation about it for years now. My time will come!

    And so will you, Jake :)

    Mel, has hubby been using his fingers on you before his cock?? Because no matter how much lube you use, if the first thing he's putting in there is his cock for the very first time, it's going to hurt and you're going to tense up. He needs to be really, really patient and really careful down there.

    I find a good way of relaxing before it is to have him go down on you and use his fingers to play with your ass while he's down there - with lube!! Then that will relax you and loosen you, and if he gives you an orgasm that will make you relax even more. Then add more lube, and more fingers, before he tries his cock. It really is all about relaxation - if you're nervous or tense, you're gonna be resisting it subconsciously anyway!

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    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    yeah he's used his fingers on me loads and even that hurts like hell!

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    Sexychic [sign in to see picture]
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    shellyboo wrote:

    Jake of Facts and Friction wrote:

    I really can't wait to try anal, I've had a fixation about it for years now. My time will come!

    And so will you, Jake :)

    Mel, has hubby been using his fingers on you before his cock?? Because no matter how much lube you use, if the first thing he's putting in there is his cock for the very first time, it's going to hurt and you're going to tense up. He needs to be really, really patient and really careful down there.

    I find a good way of relaxing before it is to have him go down on you and use his fingers to play with your ass while he's down there - with lube!! Then that will relax you and loosen you, and if he gives you an orgasm that will make you relax even more. Then add more lube, and more fingers, before he tries his cock. It really is all about relaxation - if you're nervous or tense, you're gonna be resisting it subconsciously anyway!

    yep great advice from Shelly, this is what hubby does to me and it works a treat

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    sexymel88 wrote:

    yeah he's used his fingers on me loads and even that hurts like hell!

    With lube?? I cannot stress lube enough. LUUUUUUUUUUBE! Doc Johnson's Anal Lubricant comes highly recommended.

    Seriously, though... what is it that's hurting you? The stretching? Or maybe he needs to trim his nails? (This was an issue I had with my last bf... ouch!)

    Only other thing that I can think of is that it might be a mental thing... maybe you're not 100% comfortable with him doing it? Because that WILL make you tense up, whether intentionally or not...

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    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    i am comfortable with him doing it, i want him to do it, he never used to use lube but now he does and it still hurts, (quite discusting i know but i even bleed when he does it) hes never had more than teo fingers in me, his nails couldnt be any shorter, he bits his nails so im not sure what it is, maybe im very small there?

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    Or he's very big??

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    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    hes not huge, i would say he's quite average in every department

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    sxe_couple21 [sign in to see picture]
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    sexychic I'm amazed that you got anywhere without any lube, have some extra crazy!

    For anyone who's having issues getting started I think a set of plugs can help a great deal. The first time we talked about anal I came back about a week later to find my missus in her new underwear (HOT), half way through a bottle of wine, doggystyle on the bed with a bottle of lube. We didn't have a great deal of success despite her being unwilling to give up until I was completely in. We tried more and more then bought a small but plug, this and foreplay made things a little easier. Then we bought another one, she worked up to that one (it's huuge) and then when it comes out she's about ready to try and take me. We've had varying success from it sliding in all the way straight away to her not being able to take more than the tip. For a few months we got into the habbit of having anal play once a week and this was when we were most successful, first we started with the small one and then next week bigger etc. until after a while we could try again. We didn't really have any problems after that. Its been a while now lol.

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    I think sxe couple may have cracked it... the key is WINE.

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    JakeH [sign in to see picture]
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    sexymel88 wrote:

    yeah he's used his fingers on me loads and even that hurts like hell!

    If fingers hurt then I would stay away from trying full blown anal for a while, you wouldn't want to put yourself off it! Try loads of relaxation things, have him go down on your while very slowly just sliding in one very lubed fingertip. Use a nice thick waterbased lube or a silicone one as they last longer. Anal play with fingers while the guy goes down on you is brilliant, because as she gets closer and closer to coming all the muscles in that whole part of her body tense then relax then tense again and so on, and if he just puts a well lubed up finger at the entrance to her bum her muscle's contractions, and a bit of gentle pressure from him, will actually almost draw the finger into her by itself. That's how I introduced my last two girlfriends to anal play. We'd never even talked about it (I know this isn't the best way of doing things, but I am awfully cheeky at times) but I was gentle, very much lubed up, and after they'd come and had a fantastic orgasm and I had both seen, heard and felt (around my finger) how intense it was they couldn't deny that it felt good! I feel a bit naughty about how I went about doing that, but it also brings a cheeky grin to my face!

    I guess the moral of the story is to go slowly, go slippery and listen to your body - do things at its own pace. I'd stay away from densensitising lube too. I was actually surprised to see LH selling this as the general consensus is that it's a bad idea, pain is your body's way of saying stop, and densensiting your body could lead to problems. It'd be like numbing your finger so you could hold it in a candle's flame, you'd be able to hold it in the flame, but you wouldn't know that your skin was actually being burnt. I'm sure the desensiting lubes would never numb you so much that you wouldn't feel anything at all like in my not-so-great example, but it's still something that I'd stay away from. I guess LH sell them because people have a choice to use whatever lube they want, and for people who understand the risks it might actually be useful, or perhaps just for the first time they have anal until they are more used to it.

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    [suspended user]

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    How old are you again Jake? awfully experienced for one so young

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    Sexychic [sign in to see picture]
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    sxe_couple21 wrote:

    sexychic I'm amazed that you got anywhere without any lube, have some extra crazy!

    For anyone who's having issues getting started I think a set of plugs can help a great deal. The first time we talked about anal I came back about a week later to find my missus in her new underwear (HOT), half way through a bottle of wine, doggystyle on the bed with a bottle of lube. We didn't have a great deal of success despite her being unwilling to give up until I was completely in. We tried more and more then bought a small but plug, this and foreplay made things a little easier. Then we bought another one, she worked up to that one (it's huuge) and then when it comes out she's about ready to try and take me. We've had varying success from it sliding in all the way straight away to her not being able to take more than the tip. For a few months we got into the habbit of having anal play once a week and this was when we were most successful, first we started with the small one and then next week bigger etc. until after a while we could try again. We didn't really have any problems after that. Its been a while now lol.

    Yep no lube and strangly enough it didnt hurt at the time, infact it was great, only the next day i realised the extent of discomfort lol,

    I think it was the fact that I had drunk a bottle of wine and was soooo turned on that I fully relaxed, relaxation is the key for good anal, and LUUUUUUBE lol

    but Lubes no good if you dont relax.

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    JakeH [sign in to see picture]
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    imeldaimelda wrote:

    How old are you again Jake? awfully experienced for one so young

    19, and not as much as I'd like to be

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    [suspended user]

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    Pretty good going for 19 though! (At 25 I'm feeling terribly innocent)

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    Sexychic [sign in to see picture]
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    shellyboo wrote:

    I think sxe couple may have cracked it... the key is WINE.

    hey im sexy not sxe lol, wow all these sexy people on here it gets damn confusing huh hehe,

    and yep the key is defo WINE

    I was a tad pished on wine last night Imelda and thought youd caught me out then cos all I saw at first was wine hahaha.

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    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    wow thanks for the advice everyone! we're not rushing into it, we're concentrating on the fingers for now, i am looking at a plug/beads to try so if any advice on the best products will be very much appreciated!

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    Oliber [sign in to see picture]
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    The small/medium from this set are a nice place to start, http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/orgasmarmy/anal-toys/vanilla-dip-butt-plugs/reviews.aspx, but the big one is a sizable step up!

    If you've got some money to spend, my nJoy recommendation stands! (small one- http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/orgasmarmy/anal-toys/njoy-pure-small-stainless-steel-butt-plug/reviews.aspx, around £50)

    I've got a tiny glass plug, but nobody seams to sell them anymore, it'd be ideal for what you want, but this is a slightly larger substitute http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/orgasmarmy/anal-toys/love-labs-glass-mini-butt-plug/reviews.aspx

    HTH :)

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    For those of you looking to advance along the pathway of anal, one thing to bear in mind is that many of us get a kick out of the stretch. Thus avoid balloons that you push inside and then inflate, these bypass the nerve endings in your double muscle rings, and inflate inside where there are far fewer if any nerve endings... so you can shell out, insert and inflate but yet at the same time feel very deflated!!!

    There you go my twopenneth for what it's worth.

    Tallboy

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