1. WTF is wrong with me?! Help needed!

    1566089413
    2589stars [sign in to see picture]
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    I am a bit of a newbie to the world of sex toys. Sex never did anything for me so I was really hooked when I found out about how to get a female O. 

    I've worked my way through a few toys, worked out I'm clit not g-spot (I've tried, it aint happening)  but something seems to have shifted. When I first started out, I was getting a really laid back climb and then bang! Like a huge wave which just felt like bliss. That was great, but it's not like this any more- it's more like a pain and it really hurts to get to my O now- far faster- no slow climb no matter how low I go with the vibe levels, and then my entire body convulses like I've had an electric shock and not in a good way, and then I'm in too much pain to even go there for a few nights...it wasn't like this when I started; when I started every night if I wanted would have been fine. No way now, no way at all!

    I thought I'd try another toy- saved for it and bought a womaniser. But it's not working out :( On a lower level I feel nothing, and then end up too sore to carry on, on a higher level I'm straight to convulsing and then in pain...I'd read so many good reviews on Womanisers and how they used different technology so wouldn't hurt, but I hurt still from my last attempt on Wednesday and it's Saturday now! Why is there no middle ground with me here? What am I doing wrong, or what is wrong with my body that it's gone from fine to OMGF That Hurts!

    Is there something wrong with me? Is this some sort of a thing that can happen and what do I do now because I'm clueless on this!

    1566113582
    SquirtyPanda [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi You didnt tell us what toy you were using at the beginning of your post, it would help us to help you to figure this out if we knew what toy you used to initially get you there.  Every womans anatomy is different. All Gspots and clits are different shapes and sizes. You just have to go through toys and find out which ones are for you.  Perhaps suction toys arent for you, how about soft vibrations? have you tried simple rabbit vibrators? With a womanizor you may have jumped in at the deep end, sometimes the most expensive toys may or may not do the job for you! Dildos? using a dildo whilst having a vibe on your clit might be an idea So in conculsion you could try, rabbits, bullet vibes, dildos, orgasm balms, make sure you're using the right lube too, theres loads.

    1566113926
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Go and see your Dr it sounds to me like you are suffering from disorgasmia. if you google painful female orgasm, or disorgasmia you will find some  more information

    1566116493
    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    I think Alicia is right, a trip to your GP/GUM may be in order. They've heard it all before (and more) so there's nothing to feel uncomfortable or embarrassed about. 🙂👍

    Out of curiosity, has anything changed between the good ones and the bad ones? Different lube (as you may be allergic), a different toy that may have overworked it? And what does it feel like if you just use your fingers (is it tech-related)? How long do you leave it once it's sore before you try again (are you giving it enough time to fully recover)? It does sound like it's gone super-sensitive. A Womanizer will stimulate all of the hidden, under the surface, bits of the clitoris too, so if it's already hypersensitive I imagine that will really do a number on it.

    I hope you find some answers. 🤞

    1566146852
    VR [sign in to see picture]
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    How old are you? I hear quite a few women (and the odd brave man) complain that their orgasms go on the missing list when they get to their late forties/earlyfifties. 

    It happened to me to a certain extent but I'm learning to try to slow everything up and use the lowest settings even if it takes me much longer (I used to be done and dusted with any of my toys within a minute). 

    I agree with the GUM clinic suggestions, too. And also try taking some vitamin B12. The way you described an electric shock feeling made me think you may have low levels of it. 

    1566223167
    2589stars [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks- I'm mid 30s right now, it's just so odd that everything was "working" before and now it's gone...I will try the nutrition thing though, I'm veggie so could be a nutrition thing though I'm not getting any other symptoms like fatigue etc, I'm going to see if it helps though! 

    1566226546
    2589stars [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't seem to post anything longer than a few words without an error message! What did I do?!

    1566226763
    Ian Chimp [sign in to see picture]
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    2589stars wrote:

    I can't seem to post anything longer than a few words without an error message! What did I do?!

    It keeps logging me out. I think they're trying to fix the backend so everything runs in proper order again. Before you press post copy it so you don't lose it and have to retype it after you log back in again. 👍
    1566226842
    2589stars [sign in to see picture]
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    So to list the devices I've tried- a bit tricky as I get an error message when I'm posting links. But I've written the name of the device if you wanted to see... I hope it posts this time because I keep getting error messages!! 

    OK, so to start with I went with a bullet- good but a bit too...flat if that makes sense? I came- but it was a bit awkward due to the shape which was uncomfortable to hold. It's also not vibe-pin pointed it's the whole bullet that vibes (from A/S so can't link to it on the LH site but it does look like the "Rocks of Touch Of Velvet" )

    Next up (and I was experimenting with the g-spot thing here) I tried this;  and also the "Power Play Slimline" and the "Tracey Cox Supersex Infinite Function G-Spot Vibrator":  but really got nowhere with either- like no where, I may as well have been using that thing on a doll, I either just didn't feel anything once inside me, or I felt too tight and uncomfortable. Either way just not working out, and I wasn't going to waste my time when I was clearly getting my kicks elsewhere, so I moved on.

    Next up I tried a Rabbit type device- again from A/S but looks really similar to the Mantric Rechargeable Rabbit Ears Clitoral Vibrator":  mine's a bit longer and has a oval shaped part the other end of the ears. Now here I got somewhere- (but only clit based somewhere). What I got was on a list of about 8-10 functions, about 7 of them worked on me at different times- I was actually happy to stop there to be honest. The O was actually something I'd describe as quite a gentle but powerful hit, it was better then with the bullet because the vibe patterns were more varied and less intense, it's also easier to hold. The only thing I found was that once I got there, I'd have to stop for a few hours or a day or so because I was numbed out and then a bit too sore, I assumed it was the vibe because others had commented it being too strong and a bit vibe heavy. But I'm limited on cash and can't just find something else just like that so just had to switch to using less. But then one day things went from something that felt like it relaxed every muscle in my body, to feeling like I'd been shot with a tazar! I kept trying in case I just needed to go slowly or take more down time between the times I tried, be "in the mood" or with less pressure, but varying things I either I don't get there at all or I get there and it's too painful. 

    1566240080
    MsR [sign in to see picture]
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    2589stars wrote:

    So to list the devices I've tried- a bit tricky as I get an error message when I'm posting links. But I've written the name of the device if you wanted to see... I hope it posts this time because I keep getting error messages!! 

    OK, so to start with I went with a bullet- good but a bit too...flat if that makes sense? I came- but it was a bit awkward due to the shape which was uncomfortable to hold. It's also not vibe-pin pointed it's the whole bullet that vibes (from A/S so can't link to it on the LH site but it does look like the "Rocks of Touch Of Velvet" )

    Next up (and I was experimenting with the g-spot thing here) I tried this;  and also the "Power Play Slimline" and the "Tracey Cox Supersex Infinite Function G-Spot Vibrator":  but really got nowhere with either- like no where, I may as well have been using that thing on a doll, I either just didn't feel anything once inside me, or I felt too tight and uncomfortable. Either way just not working out, and I wasn't going to waste my time when I was clearly getting my kicks elsewhere, so I moved on.

    Next up I tried a Rabbit type device- again from A/S but looks really similar to the Mantric Rechargeable Rabbit Ears Clitoral Vibrator":  mine's a bit longer and has a oval shaped part the other end of the ears. Now here I got somewhere- (but only clit based somewhere). What I got was on a list of about 8-10 functions, about 7 of them worked on me at different times- I was actually happy to stop there to be honest. The O was actually something I'd describe as quite a gentle but powerful hit, it was better then with the bullet because the vibe patterns were more varied and less intense, it's also easier to hold. The only thing I found was that once I got there, I'd have to stop for a few hours or a day or so because I was numbed out and then a bit too sore, I assumed it was the vibe because others had commented it being too strong and a bit vibe heavy. But I'm limited on cash and can't just find something else just like that so just had to switch to using less. But then one day things went from something that felt like it relaxed every muscle in my body, to feeling like I'd been shot with a tazar! I kept trying in case I just needed to go slowly or take more down time between the times I tried, be "in the mood" or with less pressure, but varying things I either I don't get there at all or I get there and it's too painful. 

    Ok - quite a lot for you to be processing!

    Firstly - the Lovehoney Forum is broken at the  moment and messages are coming up in a jumbled order, and people are not finding it easy to post. I think the IT folk are onto it...

    Secondly, what you are describing sounds a bit like the start of a new love affair - but with toys! You know, instant buzz, fast results, everything perfect, then suddenly you feel sore and not quite so drawn to the object of your desire for a while, and then things settle into a gentler pace.

    I'd suggest finding that gentler pace, now. You've had a good play around and I'm the same when I order new toys (48, married, 3 kids just for info) - I give them a good workout and they do the same for me and then they just don't do it for a while. They get me there and then they don't. I've found it is temporary. 

    So, I'd suggest picking a handful of toys (2,3,4?), some good lube and just using them twice a week for a while, a few days apart. Pop the dates on your calendar. Let your exhausted pleasure-spots recover in between each session. Start on low settigs and take your time. I've read that the average woman can take 40mins to warm up, so don't push your body into doing anything too fast despite all those reviews where people claim to climax in 20 seconds.

    If you think there might be a physical problem or a more deep seated issue, then I would agree with others about seeing your GP or nurse - they really have heard everything and might be able to reassure you or offer help as necessary.

    Good luck!

    1566317162
    Fun Louise [sign in to see picture]
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    I haven’t heard of this before. I have different types of orgasm depending on my mood, position, toy, etc. Have you tried abstaining altogether for a couple of weeks maybe. Then maybe a gentle reintroduction using a toy or just your hands, without vibrations, just touch and a bit of lube. It might work as a rest for your body, taking it back to the beginning or your pleasure experiences. 

    Worth a try?

    1566834705
    2589stars [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you to everyone who has really kindly taken the time to reply to me. I've tried now to tone things down- I'd been waiting about 24 hours between attempts in the hope something would happen then getting annoyed after about 5 mins as my patience had already run dry from the previous day- I was worried I'd lose it completely if I didn't try at all. I worked out the longer I left it between attempts was connected to the patience I had to wait- the longer I waited the less time I had to wait.

    I've managed to go really really slow and I think I'm working out I needed to tail it back. Which is odd because it wasn't like that before, no idea why now, but if I reduce the intensity, it works. It does mean many of the toys are just not going to work. I don't really know why but to be honest I'm not that worried about why, it just meant it was harder to work out what was going on and what direction to go in. I'd never have thought I'd need less toy/vibe/intensity as time went on, but that seems to be where I am. If I go to quick or have too much pressure or vibe I'm back flinching and in pain, same vibe about 2 months ago was working perfectly, nope, don't get it either. 

    So to anyone in the same place as I was? If you've tried everything, tailing off is probably one thing you've not tried, try it. It took a lot longer to get anywhere and what happened was far more subtle and easily ignored (it took time to build) but happened in the end. Maybe got to rethink my toy collection and look for slower less powerful things, or less viby at least. 

    1566859801
    TheRampentTwo [sign in to see picture]
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    SquirtyPanda wrote:

    Hi You didnt tell us what toy you were using at the beginning of your post, it would help us to help you to figure this out if we knew what toy you used to initially get you there.  Every womans anatomy is different. All Gspots and clits are different shapes and sizes. You just have to go through toys and find out which ones are for you.  Perhaps suction toys arent for you, how about soft vibrations? have you tried simple rabbit vibrators? With a womanizor you may have jumped in at the deep end, sometimes the most expensive toys may or may not do the job for you! Dildos? using a dildo whilst having a vibe on your clit might be an idea So in conculsion you could try, rabbits, bullet vibes, dildos, orgasm balms, make sure you're using the right lube too, theres loads.

    what fab advice.....

    1566863488
    AmyA [sign in to see picture]
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    2589stars wrote:

    Thank you to everyone who has really kindly taken the time to reply to me. I've tried now to tone things down- I'd been waiting about 24 hours between attempts in the hope something would happen then getting annoyed after about 5 mins as my patience had already run dry from the previous day- I was worried I'd lose it completely if I didn't try at all. I worked out the longer I left it between attempts was connected to the patience I had to wait- the longer I waited the less time I had to wait.

    I've managed to go really really slow and I think I'm working out I needed to tail it back. Which is odd because it wasn't like that before, no idea why now, but if I reduce the intensity, it works. It does mean many of the toys are just not going to work. I don't really know why but to be honest I'm not that worried about why, it just meant it was harder to work out what was going on and what direction to go in. I'd never have thought I'd need less toy/vibe/intensity as time went on, but that seems to be where I am. If I go to quick or have too much pressure or vibe I'm back flinching and in pain, same vibe about 2 months ago was working perfectly, nope, don't get it either. 

    So to anyone in the same place as I was? If you've tried everything, tailing off is probably one thing you've not tried, try it. It took a lot longer to get anywhere and what happened was far more subtle and easily ignored (it took time to build) but happened in the end. Maybe got to rethink my toy collection and look for slower less powerful things, or less viby at least. 

    When I was new to toys and actually new to any mastubation I needed a lot of power, I didn't know where my sensitive spots were and how to work with them, power compensated for technique, but after a while of experimenting and exploring I found I didn't need or want to higher settings and like you found some of them painful, the shock and convulsing sound like what I experienced and what I think of as a forced orgasm. I think we get very excited  when we first discover toys, perhaps this is our bodies only way of getting us over the top peeps to listen and take it easy on ourselves!

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