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  1. Nerve damaged

    1508235198
    Shouganai [sign in to see picture]
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    I started humping and grinding on things when I was around two years old, much to my mother's distress... My clitoris was already incredibly desensitised before I reached my teenage years; because of this it makes finding sex toys that work for my clit instead of providing a mild, weak sensation of "something" almost an impossible task.

    Last night I ground (grinded?) my clit against textured metal and still couldn't orgasm, so I'm here to beg for suggestions. (Specifically the most intense, powerful toys you know of).

    Please, please, please don't tell me to stop touching myself for a while; I am wrecked down there and nothing needs healing, I've already gone an entire year before now and nothing changed !

    I don't mind very expensive suggestions; I'll save up- it's worth an easy orgasm for once !

    Thank you. x

    1508236153
    NatandTom [sign in to see picture]
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    Sounds like a job for a mains powered toy.

    How about a Doxy Wand? https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37000

    1508236742

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    From what I have read so far you still have no had any modifications done just yet, is that still true are you still factory equipped?

    What toys have you used so far with no O ?

    1508237038
    Pinky2105 [sign in to see picture]
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    1508237567
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Shouganai, I wish I knew how to help you with that, I really feel for you. I find it increadibly difficult to even get turned on, and 2 or 3 hours to get off, when I do. I have the same not much feeling down there, mine I think down to psycholgical trauma of a sexual nature; so I kind of understand.

    I have found that exploring other parts of my body has helped ( when I can manage to turn myself on ) I once had an orgasm from a FWB running her stiletto heels down my spine while I was going down on her. And anal play as opened up new ways to get off; but I do understand having a part of your body that won't play ball, so to speak, when you know it should, and more so because you know you have done it to yourself, before you knew better of it. And how totally frustrating, that is.

    The way things are going for you you are going to need to go down to the builders supplies to buy a jack hammer.

    Oh I just had a thought; electro stim, have you thought of that ? https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/electro-medical-fetish/electro-sex-toys/ just a thought, I don't even know if they can cause an orgasm, and if they are ok to use on a clit; even a badly desensitised one.

    1508237865
    myrkari [sign in to see picture]
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    I concur with the mains powered wand verdict, probably a Doxy as they're rumblier.

    I had the same childhood issues as you but thankfully didn't appear to do any permanent damage back then as I find a mains powered magic wand style vibe far too overstimulating after a very short time. Hopefully it'll get through for you!

    1508238558
    Shouganai [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you all for your input and understanding; I shall look into the wands and electro-toys suggested !

    It's such an awkward problem to have, ahaa. :')

    1508241450
    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
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    I feel you pain, my love. I suffered a TBI - the subsequent brain surgery did nerve damage so messages from my body don't always reach my brain, plus the strong opiates I take for pain relief all make it hard for me to feel and enjoy sex quite often :( I need lots of mental stimulation to arouse me.... my impatient and often over keen partner sometimes just doesn't 'get' this! I too need a strong clitty vibe to get things moving for me! xx

    1508241820
    LIL_KNOWN69 [sign in to see picture]
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    I would also go for a wand but something you may not have tried is a pump? They have lots of different pumps and I have found on previous partners that a few minutes using one would make everything swell and feel a lot more sensitive. It can really help when struggling to orgasm and plus it looks pretty too!
    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/bondage/nipple-clitoral-toys/clitoral-pussy-pumps/

    The basics range are great or the doc Johnson one worked wonders for one of my ex partners

    1508242324
    RosyCheek [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you tried a clamp? It really increases sensitivity. Mix that with a wand and you're sure to succeed.

    1508250383
    Funlover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Shouganai wrote:

    Thank you all for your input and understanding; I shall look into the wands and electro-toys suggested !

    It's such an awkward problem to have, ahaa. :')

    Hi Shouganai, Have you tried any of the Womaniser toys.I have the Womaniser pro 40 which has the most reasonable price tag.They work in a totally different way from other clit vibes and the orgasms seem to come from deeper inside rather than just working on the surface.It might be worth a try. Also with nerve damage which I suffered after falling and landing on my tailbone which gave me bladder incontinence I have been given an interstim implant which works in the same way as estim but is permanently in place much like a pacemaker.This has stimulated some of the damaged nerves so you might find that some Electra Stim toys will help to awaken these damaged nerve endings.There may even be a similar treatment available to you on the NHS. I know my treatment is used for bowel and bladder incontinence at the moment but they are looking to expand its use to pain control amongst other things so it might be worth researching and asking your G.P. Don't give up and settle for your limitations.I'm sure there will be an answer out there somewhere.Medical research is always moving forward and your sexual health is extremely important.Worth making enquiries.I only stumbled across my treatment after having some success with a tens machine by myself then researched interstim and estim myself because the consultants didn't tell me it was available.5 years ago it was only available in Glasgow in Scotland and there may only be a few hospitals in England even now who will cover the procedure. Don't give up whatever you do.Good luck.I really do wish you well.My battle took over two years so be prepared for the long haul.x
    1508252658
    Terri JJ [sign in to see picture]
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    Definitely recommend a doxy wand. I love mine....it never makes it back into the toybox....it's always plugged in ready for action 😉 xx

    1508253834
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 8 Nov 2010

    I guess there are few things you could try. And I think several were mentioned. The wands tend to be a good choice for women, who need strong stimulation. I would go with mains powered, the rechargeable ones tend to be weaker.

    Second option is to use clit clamps, they help with making it more sensitive.

    Also ever tried a balm like one of these?

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18566

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/better-sex-for-her/better-female-orgasms/

    I used to have issues with reaching orgasm in the past and these did help.

    Also it may be good idea not to just focus on clitoral orgasm. I know I did in the beginning, but I found ways how to reach an orgasm from internal stimulation. And like a half a year ago I found a way how to reach orgasm without being touched, just from fantasy (or reading a good story) and using my pelvic floor muscles - result of my regular use of ben wa balls?

    1508253848
    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2164
    • Joined: 8 Nov 2010

    I guess there are few things you could try. And I think several were mentioned. The wands tend to be a good choice for women, who need strong stimulation. I would go with mains powered, the rechargeable ones tend to be weaker.

    Second option is to use clit clamps, they help with making it more sensitive.

    Also ever tried a balm like one of these?

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=18566

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex/better-sex-for-her/better-female-orgasms/

    I used to have issues with reaching orgasm in the past and these did help.

    Also it may be good idea not to just focus on clitoral orgasm. I know I did in the beginning, but I found ways how to reach an orgasm from internal stimulation. And like a half a year ago I found a way how to reach orgasm without being touched, just from fantasy (or reading a good story) and using my pelvic floor muscles - result of my regular use of ben wa balls?

    1508255914
    KingGrthy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 316
    • Joined: 1 May 2016

    LadySpider wrote:

    I feel you pain, my love. I suffered a TBI - the subsequent brain surgery did nerve damage so messages from my body don't always reach my brain, plus the strong opiates I take for pain relief all make it hard for me to feel and enjoy sex quite often :( I need lots of mental stimulation to arouse me.... my impatient and often over keen partner sometimes just doesn't 'get' this! I too need a strong clitty vibe to get things moving for me! xx

    I'm amazed you can get aroused at all on opioids. I can't. Maybe consider a more natural form of pain relief when your thinking of having sex. I won't name what I'm speaking of though it is now legal in many parts of the US. It also heightens sexual arousal IME and in the long run is safer than opioids, though Im not suggesting you stop them altogether, that's between you and your Dr. I'm only suggesting a temp fix for the "day of" so to speak.

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