• We want to try spanking what feeling do you get out of it

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Darth wrote:

    My BF is into being spanked, flogged, paddled and even caned.. and has requested that when we switch. I'm a bit insecure about that because I find it really hard to inflict pain on someone. I can do dominance, but it's never about pain. Also, I've never spanked someone in my life, and if I do it, I need to do it from a place on confidence. [...]

    So I'm still thinking about if I want to go there... I have to say those whips with the rubber strands look kind of appealing, so maybe I could do that.

    An additional problem is that I have limited useage and a lot of pain in my hands, so I can't exactly spank him with my hand, that would hurt me more than him.. *grin*

    Try this place for cool spanky toys:

    http://www.jacksfloggers.co.uk/

    From your description of your personal style, limitations, and your partner's desires, I'd recommend the short tawse on the "Special Floggers" page under "Our Floggers". That is an absolutely brilliant spanky toy supremely easy to use (the leather flap is stiff and bounces itself back and forth against flesh). It takes the smallest of wrist movements to operate. This is my version of it, second from the top:

    http://ladylubyanka.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/03_spankytoysshort2pict2140_2.jpg

    The other thing I'd recommend is to start out by spanking him over your knee. You'll be able to get lots and lots of instant feedback by how he moves against you, to know if he's liking it more or less. That helps to get a feel for how far is ok to go. Over-the-knee spankings are the hottest things ever, I promise. :)

    ps: My dominance is also never about the pain. :)

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    Horny Pony [sign in to see picture]
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    Bloody hell - I haven't got one spanky toy!! (a whip doesn't count does it?) Off to have a lookie at those!

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    Horny Pony [sign in to see picture]
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    Lubyanka is that a kitchen spatula I spy in there?? I have some of those.

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    Horny Pony [sign in to see picture]
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    OMG BBEs I'm loving the look of that SLUT paddle!!! Right I"ll leave this thread alone now before I get boring!

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    PPB [sign in to see picture]
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    <-------------- Likes a good ole spank!

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    bigbrownblowjobeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    Horny Pony wrote:

    OMG BBEs I'm loving the look of that SLUT paddle!!! Right I"ll leave this thread alone now before I get boring!

    'Tis well worth the money :D

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Horny Pony wrote:

    Lubyanka is that a kitchen spatula I spy in there?? I have some of those.

    Totally! Here's the description of the spanky toys in that picture:

    http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/2007/12/18/bdsm-night-2-playing-with-kvetch/#Short-Spanky-Toys

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    Naughty Devil [sign in to see picture]
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    hmmmm - when I spank my gf as aprt of foreplay it really seems to get her going! Nothing much, jusr a hand on her ass, but we do have a paddle as well!

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Mmmmmmm, just read over that account of our night. One of the pleasures of having a blog is re-reading past enjoyments. :)

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    bigbrownblowjobeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    Naughty Devil wrote:

    hmmmm - when I spank my gf as aprt of foreplay it really seems to get her going! Nothing much, jusr a hand on her ass, but we do have a paddle as well!

    No such thing as 'just' a hand on her arse, nothing quite like a hand spanking. mmmmm lol Don't iunderestimate, I'm not surprised it gets her going tbh.

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    Horny Pony [sign in to see picture]
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    Any tips on convincing Mr HP on the spanking front? He's really not sure about hurting me, even in a controlled manner (I have no such qualms when it comes to inflicting a bit of pain myself ). Do I just bend over and beg for it?? But I'd quite like to be forced. Hmmmmmmmm.

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    Darth [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe explain to him first WHY it gets you hot - adrenaline etc. From what people tell me, the turn-on in being spanked is not 'being hurt' and he may not understand that. He may emotionally pigeonhole it with "physical violence against my partner" so you need to give him enough insight so that he can seperate spanking from that and pigeonhole it with "sexual activities" instead.

    (I'm in your SO's place - I'm not into spanking and my SO would like me to, so I can kind of see where he's coming from. )

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Darth, I wasn't into it either until I tried it over the knee. Over the knee is awesome! It's as hot as sex only crossways instead of together longways. :)

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    bigbrownblowjobeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    oh I'd love him to put me over his knee properly.

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    Darth [sign in to see picture]
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    Lubyanka wrote:

    Darth, I wasn't into it either until I tried it over the knee. Over the knee is awesome! It's as hot as sex only crossways instead of together longways. :)

    I can sort of picture that the mutual feedback helps, but it's hard to really feel that idea because we're switches and I am on the subby side 80% of the time. So the idea of putting my partner over my knee like a naughty boy is... a little hard to get into.

    I was kind of planning to tie him up bent over and do some mild spanking before going to work with the buttplug... open to suggestions though!

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    Darth [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh yeah, I like Lubyanka's spatula and will probably pick up one of those - nice cheap implement so I can decide if I'm up for it without spending.

    (also, I giggled about the chicken!)

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Darth wrote:

    [...] it's hard to really feel that idea because we're switches and I am on the subby side 80% of the time. So the idea of putting my partner over my knee like a naughty boy is... a little hard to get into.

    I was kind of planning to tie him up bent over and do some mild spanking before going to work with the buttplug... open to suggestions though!

    You don't have to "put" him over your knee, he can crawl there, walk there, arrange himself there, work his way there whilst kissing your legs, whatever you like. You can be sat reading and he can snuggle up there. It can start with hugging, cuddling, kissing, stroking. All that matters is that he gets there some way. :)

    Darth wrote:

    Oh yeah, I like Lubyanka's spatula and will probably pick up one of those - nice cheap implement so I can decide if I'm up for it without spending.

    (also, I giggled about the chicken!)

    Heheh, I'll tell Irving you said so. :) And yeah, that spatula is amazing! Mmmmmmm, silicone... :)

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    If I'm spanked, nothing, i cletch and look suspisious! The girlfriend loves it! I think its the fine line between pleasure and pain, I love seeing a big red bum too!

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    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    My OH loves spanking me hard. Best was while i was looking out of the balcony one night on hol. I was naked and leaning with elbows forward. She smacked my arse red raw and eveyone was looking up wondering what the noise was whilst I was trying not to budge and look inconspicuous.

    My god I fucked her all over the room that night, loved it!

    SG69 x

    Oh, look out for a brilliant movie called The Secetary about spanking, very good!

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    I find that most BDSM-themed fantasy material completely leaves me cold if elements which I consider to be fundamental are ignored, and for me, consent is one of those.

    I liked The Secretary in parts, but because the relationship between them was based on unconsensual abuse of power, that ruined the rest of it for me.

    Even though "Preaching To The Perverted" was a lower budget, and arguably inferiour film, I feel that it portrayed BDSM in a way which felt much more realistic to me. Consent in that film was much more apparent and much more of a feature, and that's mostly why that film resonated better for me than The Secretary.

    Just tonight I was thinking that my kvetch is infinitely spankable. And when I told him so, he said he was very pleased to hear it. :)

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