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  1. Are fantasies best kept that way?

    Lullabybabe017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 496
    • Joined: 1 Aug 2011

    Many of us all have fantasies about a whole variety of different things; do you think it is better to keep certain fantasies as they are or to make them a reality?

    i have had a wide variety of fantasies over the years, some of which I still haven't carried out but....the urge to do them is ever increasing. So what do you reckon go with it and carry them out regardless or keep them as a solo session thinkabout

    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    In my opinion this is quite simple:

    If acting out the fantasy with a consenting partner/s makes you both (and anyone else involved) happy, then why not go for it?

    If, on the other hand, your fantasies could hurt or upset somebody/anybody else (emotionally or physically) or lack the consent of anyone involved or witnessing it, then definitely don't act on them.

    Should you divulge a fantasy to a partner who you are not sure would be interested? This is slightly trickier. Of course, if you don't tell, it is very unlikely to fall into your lap, but if you do, you could cause problems in the relationship if they are less open minded or likely to react badly. However, their is a very big difference between what you THINK and what you DO. Everyone has the right to their fantasies in their heads and no one has the right to tell you what you should or should not get off too. Fantasy is not cheating.

    If you do tell a partner and they say "not a chance in hell" then you should respect their wishes and not try to force/guilt/trick/manipulate them into doing something they do not want (This never ends well!!) and accept it is not to be. Alternatively, if your fantasy is so strong that you NEED it, you may need to rethink your choice in partner and get with someone more suited.

    That is my opinion on fantasies anyway. Hope it helps x

    Lullabybabe017 [sign in to see picture]
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    I am lucky in a sense as my fwb is pretty much in to anything really, we both have our limits as I guess we all do.

    I am almost certain he would be up for it, I have thought about it many times, it's just the actual going through with it

    Lullabybabe017 [sign in to see picture]
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    Thank you for replying :)

    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
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    Mine keep me sane and happy since sex is no in our marriage had it been hubby would have been brilliant at bringing mine to life he did once fantastic bit of fun. He loves teasing me and we have many laughs, he knows all about my stories. Pity we can't but that's his meds and health, I am lucky in a way I can lust all I like and he doesn't get jealous he just laughs and says "what on earth do you see in him"

    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Chastity78 wrote:

    Thank you for replying :)

    You are welcome. If this is something you really want and you think he will most likely be interested too, then I say go for it! :D It can be scary taking something out of the deepest parts of our mind and laying them open to critisism and rejection, but you know, if you never do, you will never get (Unless by miracle it just happened out of the blue with someone) so it's like taking a chance for some serious happiness, or constantly wondering...what if...what if....

    I wish you luck!

    PS: I see your name is chastity. If your fantasy has to do with this, then I wish you even more luck!! My partner is locked in chastity and orgasm denial is a huge kink of ours. Whatever it may be, have fun.

    Lullabybabe017 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    Have used that name for quite a while, no the fantasy is the whole ffm and mmf thing just as a one off for each to experience it. There are a lot of for's and against's for each though....It's mind boggling

    Annsie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 21 Dec 2012

    It really depends on what the fantasy is, and you can probably work out whether it's something you can talk to your partner about, and if they're willing and happy to try it, then go for it!

    Fantasies can be dark. Sometimes it's best to keep them as fantasies. As long as no one gets hurt (emotionally or physically - unless they consent), and everyone is consenting, then I see no reason to keep them from becoming reality!

    girl and guy 86 [sign in to see picture]
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    It depends on a number of factors that have been mentioned by others. My OH and I are also looking into MMF and FFM and have taken some steps into making these a reality. But the main thing we do is talk about it. What is it that we like, any worries that either party may have. This has really allowed us to be comfortable and aware with each other’s boundaries going into it.

    Another important part of threesomes is finding someone who everyone gets on with and that will respect your boundaries. For instance, if you’re halfway through and anyone involved decides it’s not for them and they want to stop then all parties need to be okay with that.

    It’s a difficult one as on one side you run the risk of jealousy arising and it may destroy a relationship. On the other hand if you both really enjoy it, it may become a more permanent fixture in your sex life and bring you closer.

    Having recently had the chance to play out a few of our fantasies (none threesomes), we have found out that we both really enjoy them, have become a lot closer as a couple and have a new sexual freedom (for want of a better word).

    If you and your partner are happy to play out these fantasies then I’d say go for it, but take your time in talking about what you are both expecting to get out of it, any boundaries and finding the right third person to join you. The latter is something we have been struggling with L

    You may already do this but play out the threesome through dirty talk and toys when you’re together. It may give you idea of how you’ll be if you decide to pursue it and arise any concerns you may have.

    Good luck with it!


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
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    Have to agree totally with Fluffbags.

    Example ; wife and I have both thought about a 3some we have decided it will stay a fantasy. Doesn't stop us try to act it out with toys.

    So long as you are both willing, no problem. Certainly just discussing it shouldn't be an issue at all.

    flaneur [sign in to see picture]
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    I have never told anyone about my fantasies. I've always thought of it as being too high risk on two counts. I could ruin a relationship if my fantasies are considered inappropriate or too wierd and too many people who I can't avoid could end up finding out. I'd prefer to try and sneak them into a relationship as a bit of harmless fun and tell them that they are very good at doing their bit in order to have them repeated regularly.

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