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  1. At wits end original post as eaten by the servers


    [suspended user]

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    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    • Joined: 12 Sep 2010

    Dear Mr Frustration, I cannot begin to understand how must feel. You must truly love this woman and have a very special relationship out side of sex. You are a very special man and she is a very lucky lady to have you. All so with all this in mind I simply can't begin to imagine how hard it must of been to eventually post this here. Taking aside the physical chance that there maybe something wrong, which I think is very rare.

    It is undoubtedly psychological. You know your woman better than any of us, I am sorry but all the pointer's are upbring or abuse. I am sorry to have to raise this but you both deserve to move on and you are going to have dig in some very difficult places. Please forgive me if this is to uncomfortable, but I think as you have taken this huge step to post on here you are reaching out in every direction to try and find an answer. Counselling but you may need hypnotherapy to find the truth, it maybe she has buried it so deep she has totally screened it off.

    My wife and I have been married for 25 years. Her issues were her upbringing, her mother had through her own tainted eyes told her it was wrong to enjoy sex and men are only after one thing. In no way is this anything like your issues but this took us years to overcome.

    I am no professional and you must decide for you both if this is something that you are prepared to concider. We all wish you and your partner the very best and if there is any further support we can offer please do not hesitate to post again. In admiration Gentle Giant.

    EmilyV992 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
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    • Joined: 5 Oct 2011


    Sorry if this has already been iterated by someone else but I was very much like this. I had sex with my partner because I love him and I know having sex makes him happy. I dont know if she has tried much herself in terms of self stimulation but if she does not know what she likes then it is very difficult for you to know how to help.

    We've tried a few things and I find a couple of things work for me, I may not always orgasm from it but the sensations are so good that having an orgasm isnt that important. Things to try may be oral sex and positions whereby areas such as the g-spot are more likely to get stimulated.

    Do you two ever talk one to one about this and does she ever feel frustrated with herself that she doesnt feel anything? I know I did and you are clearly a very understanding partner and as long as she sees that I am sure she would want to try different things :)

    MattB [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    I agree that it sounds like something pretty deep psychological issues and I'd have to say that if you can't get her to go to any sort of therapy then you may have to accept that this is how it'a going to be.

    Of course it's still worth trying the ideas above to see if you can fire up her libido, but techniques alone aren't going to help - even the best clitoral stimulation technique will be no good if she's not turned on. A bit like trying to learn how to reverse park in a car with no petrol in it.

    Mr Frustration [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 24 Jan 2011

    Once more, thank you for your immense kindness and help. The thread of erotic fiction seems to be the top suggestion and I'll try the books suggested. I'll let you know how we get one. Many thanks!

    PlumCake [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
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    • Joined: 21 May 2012
    Hi Mr Frustration - just a little reminder that we don't allow people to share their email addresses on the Lovehoney forum, so I've hidden the post in which you did this. Thanks!
    Mr Frustration [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 24 Jan 2011

    Oops sorry (blushes in shame). I won't do it again.

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