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  1. Friend with benefits being distant

    Vindico [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 12
    • Joined: 16 Jan 2012

    So last weekend me and my friend were hanging out (she'd stayed at mine for most of the week) watching horror films and then one thing lead to another and we ended up having the most mind blowing sex non-stop for the rest of the weekend. We came to the "agreement" that we'd keep it platonic and just enjoy the sex for what it is while remaining friends.

    This week she's been a bit distant with me, we were supposed to meet today (non sexually) but I couldn't because of Uni commitments so I suggested we meet on friday for a horror marathon (we're horror addicts) and she hasn't responded to me since yesterday which is odd because she's usually the one who rings or texts me to hang out (and we're from generation non-stop texting) and she is glued to her phone. I'm worried she may have misconstrued my movie night as a booty call and is feeling put off.

    We haven't known each other long only a couple of months and when she met me I was still in a relationship so do you think she maybe just needed to get it out of her system (there was a lot to get out if so haha) and now she's slept with me she's not interested in me on a sexual level or am I just reading too much into all of this. She was apprehensive at first about us having nsa sex because she's been used in the past so there's also that as well.

    I don't know what to think (if I should think anything at all) so I'm asking the lovely folks on this forum

    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1827
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    You need to talk to each other and be very specific about the parameters of the relationship. It might be that you are over analysing things ( I know I'm terrible for it) but if you do have worries you need to get them dealt with.

    No sex is truly emotionless. There will be feeling for both of you, and sometimes it can be ones you least expect. If she feels she has been used in the past this could start a negative association so you need to reassure her. You also need to remember that at the start of any new sexual relationship there's a different kind of energy that can make people do crazy things. The best way to cope with this is to think things through and not act just on gut instinct

    If things feel wrong it may be better to leave sex out of the friendship, and just put it down to a one off.

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