So, how honest are you?

Morbidia wrote:

Im too honest, and it can indeed be a dreadful trait, but hey ho, better that than a liar

Me too! I can be honest to a fault, expect loyalty and respect and am fiercely loyal in return.

I hate being fucked about with, in terms of being strung along and deceived.

with my hubby i,m totally honest he knows that hes married a very horny women with a very high sex drive and has no probs with me having fun on my own while hes at work

Hi and welcome sexybikerchick - lovin' your name. What's your ride, apart from your hubby of course?

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

I'm always very honest with my man. Though a lot of the time I dont have much to be honest and own up to about. Although I did hide his extendable grabber thing that he sometimes uses to pick things up so he doesn't have to bend down. I hid it because he kept trying to pinch my nipples with it last night when trying to watch telly. Its confiscated and is down the side of the fridge. I'm not going to tell him where it is for a while yet. Or until he actually needs it!

There's a difference between lying and just not being honest. My man is the most honest person I have ever met, some would say too honest but he's just right for me. However if he thinks something will upset me then he will avoid telling me until it's "sorted"....I usually know somethings wrong, but he'll wait til he feels better about it before he tells me.

Ax

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

My guy is usually the same AdnaW. It kind of annoys me cuz he bottles up.

Yes very annoying! The only lie he ever tells is "I'm fine" - well he's clearly not fine when he hasn't spoken to me all day, boys ey (at the risk of being told off for making a sweeping generalisation)!

Ax

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

Lol! but then again I can be bad for that sometimes too.

I'm the complete opposite - I'm far too honest with my emotions, I tell him every single thing and it usually ends up with me upsetting him! I need to learn when to keep schtum!

ax

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

Ah, I learnt to be more open. But I still would rather keep some problems to myself. I wouldn't say I was dishonest, I would tell him eventually, but sometimes, with some things I prefer just to get a good time to myself and work it out myself. Like a few months ago, I got a letter to say my gran had died, and I couldn't face talking about it for certain reasons. I told my OH she had died, but that was all. I had to go out and walk for a few hours to let it sink in and greive bfore going back home and talk.

Oh dear - bless you! I understand, I'm like that with everyone I know apart from my OH, I tell him everything! and my OH is like that, his excuse for not telling me stuff is because he needs to "work it out himself" - the important things he tells me though, like the time he thought he didn't love me any more lol (he did, he was just finding the distance tough and I just laughed when he told me because I knew he loved me)!

Bad news about your gran *hugs*

Ax

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

Ah, I worked through it quickly. These things happen. No one lives for ever. But I was a bit sad for a while cuz I never got to see her.

Possibley for the best though! I wish I hadn't visited my great grandma in hospital before she died. Can really alter your memory of a person!

Ax

My OH and are in a long distance, so we both know that we go solo and are fine with it. Don't tell each other everytime, but sometimes send a cheeky text to each other to let the other one know we're thinking of them (and what we're doing), just to tease.

In terms of fantasies, like I said, we're long distance, and we understand that we're only human, other people catch our eyes and it's easy for our minds to wander on occasion. That said, it's a trust thing, we know it's just fantasies, nothing more.

This is a totally loaded question. What if you are life long faithful and suddenly find out your partner has been fucking about for years? Is it then wrong to "cheat" , or is a little retaliation allowed??? and not to mention, justified.

Miss Behaviour wrote:

This is a totally loaded question. What if you are life long faithful and suddenly find out your partner has been fucking about for years? Is it then wrong to "cheat" , or is a little retaliation allowed??? and not to mention, justified.

I disagree. In such a situation I think the tit for tat reaction will just aggravate the situation. If you're OH has been sleeping with other people and you don't know about it or condone it then there is something very wrong in the relationship which needs to be addressed. Going out and getting your own back won't fix anything.

I haven't read all the way through this thread as it's an old one which seems to have been ressuracted out of the blue so I don't know what's already been said, but these are my two cents.

If I found myself in such a situation I would have to evaluate what has gone wrong in the relationship and whether or not I could get past the betrayal and carry on spending my life with this person who so wantonly trod all over me. I guess that would depend on the circumstances of the infidelity.

I believe getting "revenge" by going out and sleeping with the world could all too easily spiral out of control into a battle of one-upmanship which would take a heavy toll on both of you.

An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind!

Jimeee. I was in a relationship once, we had kids, and there was nothing wrong. Nice house, holidays, enough money, great kids, I had a well paid job. I found out/knew she was cheating on me. Now the problem here was pure greed Jimeee. Plain and simple good old greed. He was a theif and was giving her money and material stuff. That was the only problem dude.

I think its wrong to make presumptions about relationships till we know all the facts!

In regards to Miss B's question I *did* get rid of old rubbish! I'm a loyal honest person and unless already agreed upon wish to be treated the same.

SG

Hmm, interesting thread.

As a person with a failed marrriage behind her - or as I prefer to put it, a marriage that ran its course, who met her current partner on an illicit dating site whilst finishing her marriage it would seem hypocritical of me to talk about honesty, cheating and the like.

However, I now feel totally comitted to my current OH, and we enjoy a healthy sex life, with new adventures into swinging.

However, I wouldnt dream of embarking on any threesomes etc without my OH. The swinging is something we will only do together, and I now find myself being completely honest with him.

Perhaps it's because of how we met, that is we had an affair and it's progressed to more, but we've both said that we're far more honest with each other than we've ever been with previous partners.

I am completely honest and open about everything sexual and otherwise with my partner, same as he is to me.

I believe this is the only way forward for a strong and stable relationship, especially one that is an open one.

I don't think it is absolutley necessary to offer up to your partner every last detail of what you've been doing such as when you last had a wank behind their back. However, witholding such facts when asked is perhaps wrong and sharing intimate details about your day with other people is wrong if you won't share those facts with your partner.

I believe the definition of cheating is doing anything you wouldn't want your partner to know about.

Possibly too honest here!

I very rarely, if ever, tell my OH when I've had solo play, watched porn, read porn or whatever.

I don't see that I need to tell him and I wouldn't expect him to tell me if he did it; unless he wanted to, to tease.

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

I'm actually starting to get a bit concerned because I'm almost sure he hasn't done it this often before, and I'm wondering if I'm not good enough for him that he needs to knock one out each morning before he gets out of bed.

Hmmm, I'm not saying that you shouldn't be concerned, the fact he's hiding it seems a bit dubious, but from personal experience, just knocking one out before he gets out of bed isn't exactly the best way to get the best orgasms.

In my opinion (and I'm by no means an expert), it could be that something is bothering him and he's maybe trying to cheer himself up in the morning, but I wouldn't say it's anything you're doing wrong in the bedroom.

Hope you get it sorted soon.

I'm honest about having and watching porn, and sometimes I even have a quick fiddle with myself next to her in bed when she is asleep. However once having sex, I have never fantisised about someone else, and if I did, would probably keep it to myself...

Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

I can understand if he wants to relieve himself. It's just the frequency that is getting to me.

From personal experience (I was single for a loooong time), as a guy, the more you relieve yourself just to satisfy urges rather than to fully enjoy it, the less those urges are satisfied, which means you do it more often, but are still not as satisfied.

I know you said you weren't sure how to aproach him about it, but it seems like he knows you know (?) so would it help if you just let him know that you don't mind, and maybe try and get him to do it properly, rather than just because?

I hope that makes sense/helps.