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  1. group sex....advice please

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    fran [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya my Bf and i have discussed the possibility of inviting another couple into our sex sessions. I am curious but worry that I might get jealous. I have always been curious about being with another woman and the thought excites me but I wonder if it would be a big mistake. Can anyone offer any advice as I have mixed feelings...thanks

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    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
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    If you have mixed feelings, I'd probably recommend against doing it. I'd rather miss out on something than do it and regret it forever.

    1248191095
    Miss_V [sign in to see picture]
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    Think about it very seriously before going ahead with it. Consider why you might feel jealous, wether its a fear of being compared or whatever and discuss this with your boyfriend so he understands your concerns - he may has similar reservations! If you both feel apprehensive then it may be something to put off until another time, theres lots of others things you can experiment with.

    If you do decide to go ahead with it, have a Safe Word - they aren't just for BDSM! Its a code word that stops play should one partner begin to feel uncomfortable or unhappy with the situation. Make sure you both agree on it and agree to respect it.

    Good luck with whatever you decide. =^.^=

    1248191132
    Bigbear09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi fran,

    Me and J have discussed this and we both have the same worries. we are yet to explore as we dont no who to do it with...friend? escort? random?

    we did decided that me watching and playing with J while she plays with the another women would be a good way start (as this in it self is an experience, if she didnt want to take it any further)

    if J felt ok she would invite our guest to play with my cock (hands only for now) we thought this alone would give her a good idea on how she would feel. if J didnt feel rite, We felt its not a massive sexual act that would change our life

    we did make it very clear that me touching the women would be the last step and may not happen at all.

    i think J would have to be in full controll of me and our guest for it to work and not feel guilty if she didnt want to carry on as i could still have sex with her.

    hope this helps

    L xx

    1248275060
    fran [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks alot ...it helps to hear others opinions and experiences..I am not a jealous person under normal circumstances but I am not confident with my own body. I am very curious though...its a nagging curiosity that won't go away.

    1248280022
    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Keep in mind that whomever you play with, they will have their own preferences and desires and wants and needs which don't seem to have factored into any of your sample scenarios. The other person's desires, needs and wants will probably throw a spanner into your plans. So you might want to factor in the fact that the other person will be a human being entitled to as much consideration as you expect for yourselves.

    If you do decide to go ahead with this, I suggest you focus your efforts on meeting people socially whom you like personally, rather than on finding an anonymous set of genitals you can use and discard. In my experience, that second strategy tends to yield few to no results.

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    PurpleFlo [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi fran, can I shove my twopenneth in?

    Hubby and I have been discussing sharing our sessions for several months now too. It stems from my wanting to experience other men as I had very little experience of others before I settled down with hubby.I'm also a bit lacking in the self confidence with my body too-aren't most women?! lol

    Initially hubby was going to allow me my 'extras' whilst he watched and/or joined in. Some more thought on his part though and he said he didn't feel comfortable with me having another man unless he was having another woman at the same time. I told him that wasn't going to be a problem as we're in this together, to have fun as a couple and not just for one of us to get their kicks while the other allows it to happen for fear of losing them, or whatever.

    Consequently we've decided to go for another couple but found it a very laborious task to find a couple that we're both happy with who would suit us, as much as we'd suit them. We're planning to go and check out a swingers club to see if that's another more sociable way to go. Maybe that's an option you could try?

    Either way, I see it as something which can't possibly be rushed into so the longer it takes to find that first special couple to take our swinging cherry, the longer we have to further discuss exactly the sort of things we're after.

    In the meantime of course there's the LH sale, new toys to enjoy, and getting excited at the thought of having others! :-)

    PF xx

    1248289570
    PurpleFlo [sign in to see picture]
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    That point that Miss V made about having a safe word sounds a very good idea too.

    I'm going to remember that, just in case!

    PF

    xx

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Find the right sort, discuss ground rules and should be no need for safe words, always useful to have one though if one side far pushier than the other, but if they are why are you still there unless he has a monster cock or she has LF's breasts that is !!!

    TB

    1248298556
    fran [sign in to see picture]
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    Haha....it definately would need to be a shared experience or not one at all...I will take all comments on board and seriously think about it before deciding to take it further or not. I am fortunate in that my partner and I can talk openly about any aspect of our sex life or otherwise. Many points been raised that I had not really considered. Thanks guys F xx

    1248343125
    cj1972 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Fran, I really don't think you should do it.

    Purely because if you have any doubts, it isn't for you - some people like having sex involving people other than their partner, but for a large majority of couples they end up regretting it and it could have effects in ways neither of you have imagined - jealousy, unhappiness, insecurity, resentment, to name but a few.

    If you are in a secure and loving relationship and both want to be adventurous you need to sit down and think hard about the reality and where you both truly hae boundaries, because when this kind of thing is discussed its usually one partner that wants it more than the other and if you have any doubts, don't do it. Some fantasies are meant to be kept as fantasies, and if you have a close and loving relationship bringing another person into it could damage the foundation of that.

    That's my advice. Group sex and swinging etc is ok for people who one hundred percent find it exciting. But I don't and thats just my opinion and advice, I am into one to one relationships and thats just me, so I hope my suggestion helps too. I find that sex is best shared in a relationship where it is one on one, also theres loads of other ways to bring excitement in without bringing in another person, so I think you should both talk thoroughly about it and cover all areas (incuding the emotional ones).

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    poppy904 [sign in to see picture]
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    cj1972 wrote:

    Hi Fran, I really don't think you should do it.

    Purely because if you have any doubts, it isn't for you - some people like having sex involving people other than their partner, but for a large majority of couples they end up regretting it and it could have effects in ways neither of you have imagined - jealousy, unhappiness, insecurity, resentment, to name but a few.

    If you are in a secure and loving relationship and both want to be adventurous you need to sit down and think hard about the reality and where you both truly hae boundaries, because when this kind of thing is discussed its usually one partner that wants it more than the other and if you have any doubts, don't do it. Some fantasies are meant to be kept as fantasies, and if you have a close and loving relationship bringing another person into it could damage the foundation of that.

    That's my advice. Group sex and swinging etc is ok for people who one hundred percent find it exciting. But I don't and thats just my opinion and advice, I am into one to one relationships and thats just me, so I hope my suggestion helps too. I find that sex is best shared in a relationship where it is one on one, also theres loads of other ways to bring excitement in without bringing in another person, so I think you should both talk thoroughly about it and cover all areas (incuding the emotional ones).

    im with you on that one, hun. any sexual act is a bad idea if you have any doubts about it. x

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    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Don't do it Fran unless you're 100% confident before going ahead that you'll be okay with the outcome. Your relationship comes first.

    SG69 x

    1248651300
    fran [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks guys I know you're right - really helped me..my relationship is too important to me. :)

    1249985111
    Salvadore [sign in to see picture]
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    I would love to try it, and have heard good a bad stories. I am 50/50 I know I would be jealous, but I also think it would turn me on, but don't know which feeling would win.. I have done it when single, but sharing my girlfriend is another thing. Think it would be really hard to find a couple who we both fancied enough to try it, so would have to be a spontaneous thing on a night out or party.

    My friend (a girl) tried a threesome with her husband and her best friend (girl). It had been building up and just happened one night. They were drunk playing strip poker and her friend asked if she could kiss her husband.. She said yes and it went on from there. But there were consequences. Firstly, she said her husband kissed her best friend "like he used to kiss me", because it was new. Then in her mind he focused more intention on the friend and she had to fight to get in on the action. Anyway, it ended with the best friend getting married the following year and no invite for my friend or her husband, they have not spoken since. She still does not know why she was not invited. either the friend did not want an ex partner at her wedding (understandable) or more likely the friend continued the affair with her husband behind her back and the guilt was too much to invite her. so a big mess.

    So moral of the story, if you are going to do it, don't involve close friends..

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    You can't always predict how it will turn out as Lube says they will come wit their own agendas. Then there is the wht the hell do you talk about at the breakfast bar?? Clearly some get on like a house on fire, yep he pays here more attention than me!!! To cap it all some run off with others. Spose l'm trying to say look before you leap!!

    TB

    1250030853
    Student20 [sign in to see picture]
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    The only advice I can offer on the subject is that if you do decide to try out some group play, make sure that you know who is going to be involved. It'll be easy to find random people on the internet who are interested but you might not be able to tell whether they are free of STDs or worse things.

    1250031286
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it takes a certain type of person...

    You did say curious with another women. Maybe a couple situation isn't right for you but maybe another lady is. I'm sure there might be a middle ground were your partner doesn't get too involved if you were with a lady. Its gonna require alot of thought!

    Enjoy or make the best of whatever decision you make!

    1250038999
    poppy904 [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    I think it takes a certain type of person...

    You did say curious with another women. Maybe a couple situation isn't right for you but maybe another lady is. I'm sure there might be a middle ground were your partner doesn't get too involved if you were with a lady. Its gonna require alot of thought!

    Enjoy or make the best of whatever decision you make!

    but dont forget that the other girl is a person too, not just to be used. she might not be happy about just getting to do things with the woman and not the man. a treesome is meant to be just that, all 3 involved equally. unless you can do that without jealousy there is just no point. and its also very unfair on the poor other person involved that could lose two friends because of it!!!

    if its a genuine thing you want to try, i would advise calling in a professional. at least then she wont feel left out, because to her it wont be an emotional thing, its just business. x

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    poppy904 wrote:

    but dont forget that the other girl is a person too, not just to be used. she might not be happy about just getting to do things with the woman and not the man. a treesome is meant to be just that, all 3 involved equally. unless you can do that without jealousy there is just no point. and its also very unfair on the poor other person involved that could lose two friends because of it!!!

    if its a genuine thing you want to try, i would advise calling in a professional. at least then she wont feel left out, because to her it wont be an emotional thing, its just business. x

    A threesome doesn't have to be equal, just consentual. If boundries are established before I personally don't see why everyone has to have the same boundries. I personally wouldn't even describe it as a threesome. It would more be two women, one of whose partner is observing.

    Sorry but I don't see understand where your description of jealousy comes into it? The original poster fran, felt she may become jealous. If she is involved but her partner not she is less likely to become jealous and her and the other lady can do their thing!

    I believe in taking smaller steps, I'd imagine this is less likely to lead to jealous on the posters behalf. Many men also feel less threatened by the thought of their lady with another lady as opposed to a man.

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