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  1. How can I please my girlfriend?

    lovelylu [sign in to see picture]
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    We're lesbians, and I know all the right buttons to push, but she just doesn't seem to want to "make me" do anything. Any time I go down on her, she just tells me she wants to go down on me instead.

    She makes me cum between five to ten times, but she only ever cums once whenever we have sex. I'm a total submissive bottom, but I feel as if it's not enough to sit back and look pretty while she pleasures me. She insists that once is enough for her, but I feel bad.

    Do any fellow sub lesbians know how to please a top that seems to only want to please?

    Thank you everyone.

    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't advise you from a lesbian view point, but I can maybe reassure you from a female standpoint that one orgasm is 99% of the time, ALL i need, or can stand (I get sensitive and even sore) Some of us ladies are multi orgasmic and some of us are one orgasm women! :D Maybe your girl falls into the second catagory? I certainly do.

    PS: As a top.....I also prefer to give than receive! I could happily spend hours and hours on him, teasing and edging and all sorts, then finally be happy with him taking me to a single orgasm afterwards. Actually, I would say about 50% of the time I don't even need or want an orgasm. I am just as satisfied pleasuring him. Maybe this is not seen as the "dominant" way, but that is how it works for us and I personally love it. I think he does too! lol

    Best wishes. x

    sleepycelia [sign in to see picture]
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    I think some people are just inclined to be like that? I know my girlfriend and a lot of girls I've seen in the past primarily get off on giving and/or topping and when I first started seeing my girlfriend we were in a similar kind of situation, our sexual roles were veeerrry defined but over time it's sort of progressed naturally and we've started switching and branching out a bit more.

    I know this sounds like I'm stating the obvious but have you asked her if there's anything she'd like to do more or have you do to her, or have you told her that you feel bad and you'd like to give more?

    lovelylu [sign in to see picture]
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    I've told her I feel bad and she assures me that it's alright, she's recently tried anal, so I guess I could suggest some butt-play to her, if she wants it.

    Each time I try to talk to her about it outside of the bedroom, she switches the subject quickly and talks about me, what I want to try, etc.

    I know that most girls are alright with one orgasm, but as someone who has to have more than one to be satisfied, I feel bad!

    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
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    You need to trust her and trust that she is happy and if she wants more she will tell you . Dont feel bad enjoy it xx

    ShannonMarlene [sign in to see picture]
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    Being bisexual, I can have a bash at giving some advice?
    Some people are genuinely just like that. I, for example, only like to come once and that tends to be me satisfied, it might be similar for her?
    I get how you feel. I'm really partner-pleasure orientated and get upset if I don't feel I've done enough but you just have to trust them and talk it out

    sandr [sign in to see picture]
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    I totally agree with fluffbags, I'm straight also but I know that I get a lot of pleasure from pleasuring my OH. I definitely prefer multiple orgasms, so I won't comment on that aspect, but I have found that after one sometimes I can come just from pleasuring my boyfriend.

    It took me a while to let him take the lead though and I think his patient persistence has really helped though. Having him tell me that he enjoyed pleasuring me as much as I did him made me realise what it meant and now we have a bit more of a balanced sense of dominance where we each take it in turns to sit back and enjoy as it were.

    Horny Glass Lover [sign in to see picture]
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    I find it real hard to switch, and i'm very happy with my 'role' so to speak. The only time it feels right for both is when it's a joint venture (i.e... double enders etc...) I wouldn't worry too much. You can pamper and give in other ways, day to day. I also had an ex, she'd come once and not want to cum again for quite some time, saying she still felt 'too sensitive' after.

    lovelylu [sign in to see picture]
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    I just like spoiling her, haha. I never feel like I'm doing enough!

    Laveila [sign in to see picture]
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    I can generally orgasm once and then not, or not fore some times. I can orgasm both vaginally and clitorally, so technically I can orgasm twice short after each other, but thats about it. My reasons are two

    1 I am satisfied and I dont feel like another orgasm

    2 I am actually sensitive after I orgasm and I dont enjoy further stimulation. Either way.

    I can play and orgasm again, but generally the stronger orgasm, the longer till I feel like the need to orgasm. Although after afternoon orgasm, I am generally good for another just before bed time.

    So she can be a woman, who is satisfied with just 1 orgasm. And you have to believe that she is telling you the truth.


    [suspended user]

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    lovelylu wrote:

    I just like spoiling her, haha. I never feel like I'm doing enough!

    Hi lovely, I don't think the sexuality matters my OH is just the same she prefers one big orgasm and sometimes not at all. Totally agree with Fluffbags.

    Also a bit like Christmas there is a point in most peoples lives when the pleasure changes from Receiving to giving. What I am trying to say is your OH is totally into you and what she gets of on is you. So enjoy except and work it for her. It sounds like being more submissive for her,is what you could do for her.

    Whilst my OH is quite submissive she like you loves to do things for me. So it is down to you to keep trying to talk to her. I am totally into my Wife and if allowed could spend hours without coming myself , touching, teasing, licking and just watching her.

    Jazzam [sign in to see picture]
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    Just to put a slightly different point of view here (although I agree wholeheartedly with everything that has been said regarding different women become sensitive etc)

    Have you considered that she may not feel *that* comfortable in herself sitting back and letting you away with her. Maybe she doesnt know anything else she wants to try and feels a little awkward that she is happy with how things are now? I keep saying to my OH we should try new things... I mean because I want to find out more that pleases him than standard bedroom antics, but he says hes open to trying whatever I want but has no suggestions/fantasies of his own and I think he kinda thought I was getting bored at first until we talked it through x

    As far as the appearance of things being one-sided - I went through this with my partner recently. Ive always been really happy to give to him - infact its kinda "I know I can do this well" so it made me feel good to make him come. I on the other hand struggled (still do sometimes) to let go enough to orgasm, he could do everything I ever wanted but sometimes you just can't let it go, I'd find myself drifting mentally, worrying about silly things or about how long I was taking and kinda wanna swap over incase he was bored (Yes before you men say it, I know you don't get bored of pleasing us... tell my irrational brain that!) BUT I was FINE with this, I couldn't care less if I came or not - infact I quite enjoyed getting just to the edge and using that spurt of adrenaline to ravage my partner!.

    I think, if she says she's satisfied you kinda have to take it as that because she probably is!, but maybe try a night where you just care for her (albeit small) needs; and even if she tries to switch it around to her giving just kinda brush it off and tell her its about her tonight! Stop when she wants to stop and let her know how much you're really enjoying spending some extra time with her x

    Bluebells [sign in to see picture]
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    I can hardly speak for all lesbians, only me, and the women I've had sex with, within a relationship or more casually, and that's not very many, but the way it seems to me is that it's more about someone's tastes, and how they're wired up, then about the dynamic of a relationship.

    I've never thought of myself as a sub or bottom, because I enjoy sharing orgasms, but I had one girlfriend, briefly, who sounds a little like yours, in what all she really wanted to do was take me and have me, and almost never did she want me to reciprocate. Like you, that felt a bit weird in a way, but looking back I realise that what she took pleasure in was my orgasm, and watching and feeling me come, and that in itself was what gratified her.

    I wonder if your girlfriend might be wired up in a similar way. Perhaps your orgasms give her so much of the excitement and joy she wants from your love-making, and her own single orgasm is just the final touch which for her completes the sex.

    Maybe a way forward for you both is to play to your strengths. If it's your orgasms which thrill and excite her, then perhaps go with the flow and let yourself just enjoy them, knowing that it's fulfilling for both of you. On the other hand, if you want to make her come more, then tell her that's what you want; you could even try a role-reversal session, when you swap, just for fun - with you in the driving seat and her in the recipient role.

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