• How sexy is confidence?

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    Fluffbags wrote:

    Confidence is super sexy, but there is definitely a line and if the person steps over into over confidence, or cockiness, it is a big turn off.

    Confidence is feeling comfortable in your skin and relaxed enough to be naked, raw and honest with your partner. Overconfidence is being so in love with your body that you think you are doing your partner some kind of favour by "doing them the honour" of sleeping with them.

    Having the confidence to make the first moves, to make suggestions and to be able to speak up about your desires is sexy...Over confidence in this area is demanding, not giving 50/50 and assuming you know what is best and you KNOW what your partner wants.

    I could go on, but yes confidence is definitely very sexy, but over confidence is not!

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    Lollipop ;) wrote:

    Fluffbags wrote:

    Confidence is super sexy, but there is definitely a line and if the person steps over into over confidence, or cockiness, it is a big turn off.

    Confidence is feeling comfortable in your skin and relaxed enough to be naked, raw and honest with your partner. Overconfidence is being so in love with your body that you think you are doing your partner some kind of favour by "doing them the honour" of sleeping with them.

    Having the confidence to make the first moves, to make suggestions and to be able to speak up about your desires is sexy...Over confidence in this area is demanding, not giving 50/50 and assuming you know what is best and you KNOW what your partner wants.

    I could go on, but yes confidence is definitely very sexy, but over confidence is not!

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    matyhaty [sign in to see picture]
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    Kashyfox, its just behind you , your find it shortly

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    Trouble Loves Me [sign in to see picture]
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    Sexual confidence is a massive turn on. Fake it 'til you make it.

    Having said that, that moment when your OH tells you about their little insecurities can lead to a huge emotional connection which, in turn, makes for even better sex, so it's swings and roundabouts really..

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    Gladiator69 [sign in to see picture]
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    My wife is stunning, with a superb, well-toned figure. She still moans about how big her bum is.

    Does it annoy me? Not really. I like that she needs to be reasurred even after all this time. Maybe I'm just an old-fashioned cave man.

    I've spent a lot of time training my body over the years and been accused of being cocky and much worse by people who don't even know me. It's unfair. When you take care of yourself and are involved in combat sports / competitive sports like myself, you can't affort to be a wallflower or you'll get sand kicked in your face.

    Confidence gets you on in life, but like others say, no-one likes a show-off.

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    Ethíri [sign in to see picture]
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    The guys who I've ended up being the absolute most attracted to, usually started out as the kind of guys that I "wouldn't even give the time of day to", as mean as that sounds.

    Confidence is almost everything.

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    PinkPolkaDot [sign in to see picture]
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    love addict wrote:

    it swings both ways for me, I'm not at all confindent and quite often I've been attracted to someone similar who understands me on that level. Having said that, I find it incredibly sexy if a man wants me and has the confidence to tell me, although as others have said, it can be a fine line. What I initially saw as sexy confidence in my ex turned out to be arrogance.

    This! Exactly this, even the ex thing. I find confidence sexy because it helps me with my confidence issues but I also love people who are shy because I know exactly what that feels like. I guess I have no hope in finding a partner because I completely lack confidence and it looks like that's what everyone wants. But I have no problem walking around naked - in fact I love it. I love wearing lingerie and only really notice my flaws if someone points them out or I see them looking at a particular part of my body and start over-thinking along the lines of 'omg they're staring at my stretch marks, they must hate them'. I fake it til I make it in sexy situations but I'm hopeless any other time.
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    Ethíri [sign in to see picture]
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    PinkPolkaDot wrote:

    love addict wrote:

    it swings both ways for me, I'm not at all confindent and quite often I've been attracted to someone similar who understands me on that level. Having said that, I find it incredibly sexy if a man wants me and has the confidence to tell me, although as others have said, it can be a fine line. What I initially saw as sexy confidence in my ex turned out to be arrogance.

    This! Exactly this, even the ex thing. I find confidence sexy because it helps me with my confidence issues but I also love people who are shy because I know exactly what that feels like. I guess I have no hope in finding a partner because I completely lack confidence and it looks like that's what everyone wants. But I have no problem walking around naked - in fact I love it. I love wearing lingerie and only really notice my flaws if someone points them out or I see them looking at a particular part of my body and start over-thinking along the lines of 'omg they're staring at my stretch marks, they must hate them'. I fake it til I make it in sexy situations but I'm hopeless any other time.

    Keep in mind that you are in a sex talk forum, so a lot of people here may possibly be more confident than the average person - so they may just be looking more for people fairly similar to themselves (but I can't speak for others obv). You seem bright and sweet, you shouldn't lose hope. You know what people say, "soon as you stop looking for something it walks into your life" and all that jazz. :)

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    Jonnyjonjon [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree too with previous posts.

    From my male persepctive, a confident woman is incredibly sexy but like other have said its a fine line between arrogance and cockyness.

    For me a confident woman isn't neccessarily someone who is confident all the time, which sounds a bit crazy, but they are able to overcome it with their own self belief - if that makes sense?

    For example for me its the way my OH holds herself when we go out for a posh meal; the way she elegantly walks to the table with a gleaming smile and bright eyes because of the self belief she has in herself that she looks gorgeousin her dress... but 30 minutes earlier was fretting that the dress is too revealing or clingy to her 'wobbly bits'.... that to me is incredibly attractive becasue she overcomes it and indulges in the feeling of looking gorgeous, which I think enhances her confidence.

    It's a 'grounded confidence' if you will, that I find incredibly attractive :-)

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    mrs average [sign in to see picture]
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    Confidence, self belief and contentment are attractive charactersistics.
    Arrogance, delusion, being big headed is very off putting.

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    DavidB1986 [sign in to see picture]
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    Confidence is extremely sexy to me.

    But at the same time, I quite a little shyness too ;)

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    mysteron [sign in to see picture]
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    I decided to ressurect this thread .

    I agree with the title that confidence is sexy . And whilst I have seen many confident plus size sexy ladies and even spoke to one or two , I also feel through my own experience and the experience of my Mrs now , weight loss can add to ones confidence.I have noticed changes in my partner since she has lost some weight that have seen her come out of her shell a lot more . She has become far more extrovert and we even managed some dirty close up style dancing in a nighclub aimed at over 40s . I know one of the reasons she did this was to stave off some admirers coming in my direction and wanted to stamp her claim that I was her man but in the past she wouldn't have gone to these lengths due to lack of confidence .We even got complimented by another couple of how well we both looked which was also nice and a confidence booster for both of us. .She has also initiated sex more often as well as its normally my role .

    So with these obvious changes then I agree confidence is sexy . The only thing I would like to add is not to be over confident as this can be seen as being arrogent by some.

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    wildflower [sign in to see picture]
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    DavidB1986 wrote:

    Confidence is extremely sexy to me.

    But at the same time, I quite a little shyness too ;)

    I'm the same as regards the shyness aspect and while confidence can be attractive there's a fine line between confidence and arrogance . A man who thinks he's God's gift to women is a total turnoff for me.

    I think some level of confidence comes with age too, I'm nowhere near as shy as I used to be in my teens and twenties although I still wouldn't consider myself to be very outgoing, that's just my nature I suppose .

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    Lu SB [sign in to see picture]
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    Confidence is something that really attracts me. Is not a person being full of hemselves, but more like a way of feeling confortable in their own skin, something that is not only aboud the way they look but motly about personality. A confident person always maintain eye contact what is such a turn on.

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    Lu SB [sign in to see picture]
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    Very sexy in my opinion. Confidence goes beyond the way a person look and is also about personality. Someone confident always maintain eye contact which is a massive turn-on.

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    AlyBlue [sign in to see picture]
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    Yes confidence is very sexy and a massive turn on! For me it inspires confidence in me and I love a guy whos alpha so Confidence is a big thing for me and gives me the Confidence to go dominant on the guy too.

    Just make sure you don't get arrogant....cause that isn't good unless it's role play and that's your character. Xx

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    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    My gf is stunning but she is always doubting herself and putting herself down. I think it's partly an age thing as I was the same when in my 20's, but I'm 36 now and completely happy in myself. I'm not over confident but I don't hate anything about myself and I don't put up with anyone mistreating me, that comes with confidence too!

    I admire confidence and strength in others, both men and women. It's sexy. Plus when you're around someone who is confident, it rubs off and you feel the same. It makes for a fun, easy going atmosphere. But I agree with some of the other posts in that arrogance just ain't sexy!!

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    Lil_Red_Kinkyboots [sign in to see picture]
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    i find confident men and even women for that matter very attractive but I do like to see a little bit of vulnerability underneath it all. It helps me to connect emotionally if that makes any sense I suppose it's like a hard shell with a soft centre. I can even cope with arrogance as long as I spot that soft centre within.

    What I really struggle with in a social setting are loud, brash, arrogant types and I even get embarrassed for them as maybe they feel they have to act this way to get noticed.

    i love to people watch and when I see others having a great time and not worrying what others think about them and having a giggle shows confidence to me.

    Confidence has come with age for me, which I'm quite shocked about. It's not about how attractive I am so much, even though others say I am. It's more about not really worrying about what others think of me anymore as I'm happy with who I am.

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    *sexybabe* [sign in to see picture]
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    Ditto Lil Red Kinkyboots! Confidence isn't about thinking you're amazing looking or the most clever or successful person in the world, it's being happy with what you've got, who you are and loving yourself flaws and all. In fact confidence is about embracing your flaws and enjoying the fact that they make you different!

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    Body confident is not that important as its luck of the draw as to the body your given.
    However mentally confident In your own sex . The ability to understand what you want and your lover plus not be shy to explore sex is fantastic.
    I particularly enjoy seeing and feeling a confident woman in bed. Especially if you have helped her gain that confidence.

    The absolute most erotic thing about confidence is know how to submit to your partners desires and wishes. The confidence to submit your body and mind to their pleasure.


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