FrumCouple wrote:
Thanks, that thread speaks mostly about communication which thankfully isn't an issue here.
As to the medical advice, would drugs like Viagra be applicable here or are they there only to treat physical causes?
Assuming Viagra works for you, it can be used for psychological as well as some physical causes. In the UK, it is prescribed for some physical causes such as diabetes, but I was recommended it by my doctor for psychological ED.
To be honest, the doctor didn't have that deep an understanding of ED and the things that have helped me is no porn and pelvic floor exercises. Having said that, Viagra made me realise that nothing is wrong and I went from taking one, quickly down to taking a half and now I don't take it unless planning a long session and then only a quarter or at most a half (essentially, using it recreationally). The thing to avoid is that you think you can only have sex with Viagra.
This is an edited version of my post in the thread I linked to:
We've been through this and it almost certainly is resolvable. The problem is that there are many causes and probably more than one is having an effect.
The first thing to rule out is physical and this requires a visit to the doctors. If there's no physical cause from the docs it doesn't mean that it's not physical, it just means that it's not diabetes, blood pressure, prostate cancer etc.
Rule out stress in job or relationship, by dealing with these however is appropriate. This didn't apply to me, so I'm not the best person to give advice on this.
The next thing is pelvic floor. This gets weaker as you get older and needs regular exercise. There's lots of guides online for this and there are electrical devices very similar to the machine on the sex toy testers at the moment (http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=29582), but with an anal rather than vaginal probe.
Then we've got psychological. This is almost a certainty. Whatever the root cause is, as soon as there's a problem, you worry about it and this causes a problem. Viagra can help with this. Take one, it all works, you know that your body works. Move down to three quarters, then a half, then a quarter, then realise you can do it without Viagra. For cheap, regulated Viagra, have a look at the list of outlets here http://www.erectiledysfunctionclinic.co.uk/viagra.php
Then there's drugs and alcohol. I gave up everything at first (caffeine, alcohol, the lot). For me, this didn't do much, but for some this is the cause. I've stayed off alcohol though, just because I prefer not drinking.
Then there's porn. I think this affected me and I gave it up. There's a video here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wSF82AwSDiU and lots of info here http://www.yourbrainonporn.com/
All of these (except Viagra) take time. It could be six months before you get results and so it takes a lot of commitment.