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  1. How do YOU initiate sex?

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    KinkyWolf [sign in to see picture]
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    Are there any particular ways you like sex being initiated?

    Are there any ways you hate it being initiated?

    I'm wanting to try and avoid doing the same thing every time. Thoughts, folks?

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    KinkyWolf wrote:

    Are there any particular ways you like sex being initiated?

    Are there any ways you hate it being initiated?

    I'm wanting to try and avoid doing the same thing every time. Thoughts, folks?

    I like sex to be initiated by both of us ,sometimes when we are alone at night we put on a dvd music sometimes porn .If its music we will get out the cards or a board game,crack a bottle of wine and play until we have had enough.And then we just start to kiss and cuddle on the sofa until it gets to much and move to the bigger space upstairs.If its porn well use your own thought's depends on the kind your watching but no games then just sex sex sex. Deffo not after too much booze get's a bit sloppy and blurry.

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    Darth [sign in to see picture]
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    When we are together (which is very, very rarely at the moment) then we pretty much spent the entire time touching or close to each other. So a kissing session is easily started and things move from there.

    If we were together more and not so 'on' all the time, I'd probably find it really hard to initiate. My first boyfriend kind of drilled it out of me with his endless rejections.

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    I never used to overtly initiate sex but recently I've pushed myself and got over feeling silly trying to be seductive, sexy undes are a guaranteed initiator though, sort of like a green light from me.

    We've been in Egypt for the last two weeks and I did ALL the initiating, I think hubby got a bit bored, thinking "here we go again" when I climbed on top of him, but he couldn't really complain much with me sucking him to get him hard - it must have been the heat but I wanted sex all the time and he was knackered! The mirrored door by the bed in the last hotel room helped though.

    I prefer for him to take the lead, it makes me feel wanted, we have both been a bit ill since returning and had a few sex free days until Monday night, I deliberately put a black lacy bra and pants on under my pyjamas so when I took them off to get into bed, I left the undies on and it took him a couple of minutes to notice what I was wearing, after that he was all over me and really took charge of the action, he had my legs on his shoulders with my knickers still around my ankles, then he spread me open wide and pounded me hard, then he grabbed me and flipped me over and pounded even harder, which got my g-spot just right!

    I enjoyed that far more than our holiday sessions, when I had started things off and decided positions, all I wantd on holiday was for him to throw me down, rip off my bikini and just fuck me hard, he was just happy to lie back and take whatever I gave him, after all he was on holiday.

    This morning when we woke up he started nuzzling my neck and very gently caressing me, I think I surprised him when I turned to face him , put my leg up and slid him inside me without a word - we had quite a session in a few different positions but it all came to an abrupt end when I got cramp in my back by thrusting back at him whilst almost flat on my front! It was all a bit too adventurous for 8.30am, I'm not exactly flexible in a morning.

    You can't get it right all the time though, I left a new ( my first at the age of 40 and 20+ years of marriage) vibrator out by the bed and instead of getting horny, he said he felt a bit wierd about it, as if I was telling him he couldn't satisfy me - when I explained that I was taking such a long time to orgasm lately and it was very frustrating( he had commented once during oral sex by saying, "god, haven't you come yet) he felt better about it and he asked if I wanted him to try it out on me, hell yes and I came far quicker - this was after a good half hour of oral with a bit of rimming thrown in, which was heavenly but didn't quite get me " there".

    Since discovering g-spot orgasms and squirting occasionally ( twice in one session on holiday), my clitoris seems to have lost sensitivity, or it could be my age perhaps. I've always needed a lot of clit stimulation in conjunction with him inside me or using his fingers quite forcefully too but now it takes strong vibrations to get the same effect. Even him really sucking on my clit, usually a sure thing, gives no more than a flutter - wierd.

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    Lady lara so hot .well try to get him to nibble your lips as he plays with your clit ...works for us every time good licking

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    sorry should have read nibble your nips but nibble your lips as well have fuun

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    It's funny you should mention nipples, mine were never very sensitive but lately they have been, especially if he bites or tweaks them fairly hard, if he could manage to nibble them at the same time as licking my clit it would be heavenly! I suppose he can reach up and pinch me next time he's down there, it's worth a try.

    He was biting them whilst digging his nails into and spanking my bum on holiday, that was nice, as well as really digging his nails into my hips. I even made him come while I was on top, that doesn't normally happen as he's so relaxed but I was grinding away and as I lifted myself off him almost completely, I squirted and came all over him and he pulled me back down and came straight away, it was so hot.

    We've really re-discovered our sex life recently as we now work compatible shifts and the kids are out of the way at Uni, it was quite tough at first to try and be sexy, i just felt stupid and clumsy and hubby felt I was "trying too hard" by being really quite adventurous ( for us) - he was even worried that I was up for "almost anything" to which i replied that I was! He was quite perplexed at some thingsI suggested, like watching each other masturbate, he said the thought did nothing for him and trying to find his p-spot ( externally ) was unsuccesful, he said he couldn't feel anything remotely pleasurable, he will happily do a bit of rimming on me but when I asked him if he wanted to see how he felt he said he really didn't fancy it. I even asked him if there was anything he had always wanted to try ( he has jokingly mentioned anal in the past) but he said no, he was more than happy with the way things were now. He is definitely paying more attention to my bum so we'll see where that goes , if anywhere - I am curious but secretly worried that he would like it better than normal sex I suppose as the guys on here seem to love anal more than anything.

    To those that partake in anal, is it more the mental/ visual aspect that makes it good, does it really feel that different to vaginal penetration for the man? My hubby loves to come in my mouth because of the feeling of me sucking when he ejaculates, he says it's almost painful but oh so good, so I know that it feels different for him as well as the visual stimuli..

    I love him to use his thumb in me when he's behind me and his tongue feels divine but I don't fancy him coming up there though, the thought of it all dribbling out again is a bit yuckky.

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    sxe_couple21 [sign in to see picture]
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    for me Anal is completely different to vaignal sex. I wouldn't trade one for the other. Its just something that is obviously still regarded as a 'lil naughty and that makes it more fun. I doubt if you have anal sex he's going to lose interest in you in other ways.

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    Mucky Duck [sign in to see picture]
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    As long as I get laid I'm not that bothere. If my belly is full & my balls are empty then I'm too fussed about the details.

    If i was being picky..

    Like... Sneaky cock rubs & whispers of whats in store.When back home then it's all hands to the pumps!

    Walking in to be greated by her in a sexy outfit

    A steak dinner

    Dislike... "Oh, go then..." Sympathy sex isn't for me, I'd rather not bother.

    Rohypnol- It's not going to end well, is it?

    Ether- Makes your bum sore if you sniff it!

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    I tend to favour the direct approach of asking or simply grabing...bit of a sex pest now I think of it!

    I also like the obviously camp seduction of over bending over, getting caught getting myself off etc.

    Subtlety really isn't my forte lol

    xxKPxx

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah, I tend to grope Elcano lol Or say 'Shall we have sex?' - nothing like the direct approach!!

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm very kissy-kissy, touchy-feely anyway...I have to be obvious to get some action!

    xxKPxx

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    ExtraWrongMint wrote:

    But if he picked you up, wouldnt you detect something was afoot?

    My OH doesn't pick me up very often actually despite me being very tiny! I'd love it if he did come home and litterally just pick me up and take me to bed though!

    xxKPxx

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Maybe it depends on the people and their dynamic/relationship/circumstances. But at the moment Elcano and I are both child-free and have only been together 21 months so it's all still fairly 'new' and having sex is quite a big, important part of our relationship. It's not the be all and end all by any means! But we don't need to 'seduce' each other or set the scene. We are usually both up for it and can do it several times a day so it's not like we have to try hard to initiate it! But obviously there are times when it's more loving/romantic etc. But day-to-day it probably is a bit more blunt like one of us just coming onto the other one in the bedroom or living room (or kitchen) or wherever. Or if we aren't together we quite often text about the sex we'll have when we are together - so that sets things up for later on. It might not always be that way - say for example if we ever had children and didn't have so much free time/space for having sex whenever/wherever - but for now the direct approach works for us!

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    ExtraWrongMint wrote:

    But if he picked you up, wouldnt you detect something was afoot?

    My OH doesn't pick me up very often actually despite me being very tiny! I'd love it if he did come home and litterally just pick me up and take me to bed though!

    xxKPxx

    KP, I would love to pick you up and throw you on a soft silk bed! I love a girl who is smaller than I am so I can pick her up and leave her all dishevelled! Lol! Its really sexy. Spesh if she has long hair that tumbles out while doing so. Mmmmm. I'm getting lost in thought here.

    We need to make this happen! I'm definately taking that image to bed with me tonight!

    xxKPxx

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Phew! It is hot in here!! I am also taking that image to bed with me!!

    As for how I initiate sex, depends what mood i'm in. I rarely initiate it, but when I do I start of just by cuddling up with my fella, then apparantly I give him a cheeky look (thats what he tells me) and kissing and groping begins.....you get the picture. I'd love to have an unusual way off initiating sex but I really don't. Very rarely I'll just jump on him. I know he loves that but I have to be in exactly the right mood. Much prefer it when he's in control and takes charge.

    Usually he will initiate it with me by giving me a nice back/shoulder massage and kissing my neck....always gets me going! xx

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    ExtraWrongMint wrote:

    So some of you DO have a soft spot. That's really quite sweet.

    Lol of course I have a soft spot (not just for AA though that is a soft spot indeed!) seriously though...I initiate sex in a direct way because I CAN...I've been in a relationship for 7 years and am still madly passionately in love...to me it is romantic that I can be so open and honest with my partner!

    I don't always just leap naked onto my OH (though admittedly I do that sometimes) ... but I am always clear about my intentions. I think a simple "let's go to bed" or "I want you inside me" is romantic but still to the point!

    xxKPxx

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    ExtraWrongMint wrote:

    First of all, make sure the house is warm. Pop open a bottle of wine an hour before she gets home (if I'm at home first). Ask how she is, yada yada. Listen to her hard work that she did that day. Hand her a glass of wine. Wait a little bit, sipping my glass and nodding. When it comes time to say something more, do so with a smile. Wait for the smile from her in reciprocation. Take her glass away. Brush her hair back behind her ear and give her a kiss. Then take her upstairs.

    So that's pretty much it I think.

    . That has got to be the perfect approach! I'd love that x

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    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    I want silk bedsheets now!! It really depends; I wasn't an initiator at all-in most things- when we got together, which has changed with a lot of effort, time and love from my partner. He'll often do the picking me up, throwing me around thing, and actually I enjoy the thrill of 'fighting' him knowing that I shall iunevitably 'lose' whenever he decides. Massages and gestures work well for him, so since that will be noticed it seems like the best primary option; acting on suggestions jokily made, wearing no pants, the sexy walking, nice underwear all serve as a mood indicator in a way, although I'm sure he'd be better able to tell you how I really initiate sex

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:


    KP, there is simply no denying our love for eachother anymore is there..?

    Je t'adore ma belle AA

    xxKPxx

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