• Do you prefer being the Dom or Sub?

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Fascinating SB.

    I'm always curious just how these dynamic works and I imagine the bedroom/non-bedroom balancing can be a bit difficult. It's an interesting lifestyle choice. I've saved your blog to have a little read.

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Fascinating SB.

    I'm always curious just how these dynamic works and I imagine the bedroom/non-bedroom balancing can be a bit difficult. It's an interesting lifestyle choice. I've saved your blog to have a little read.

    Thanks :) There isn't too many details like that on the blog as it's public, and writing about sexuality is what I'd like to do, so I don't put too much of my private life on it. (The link's on my profile if anyone wants a look!)

    The balancing is actually seamless... we were just talking about it over dinner there (I told him about this thread) and we were both remarking on how natural it all feels, yet when you see it all written down like that it seems like a lot!

    But they were all introduced gradually - him taking control of my toys and when I was allowed use them was the first step, and bit by bit he took more control of me - so it really feels like this is just how our relationship is supposed to be. It's an amazing feeling to be so cherished and protected as well. I just feel 100% secure with him, I know he adores me that's why I'm happy for him to be in charge.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Fascinating SB.

    I'm always curious just how these dynamic works and I imagine the bedroom/non-bedroom balancing can be a bit difficult. It's an interesting lifestyle choice. I've saved your blog to have a little read.

    It does sound interesting SB!

    I'm naturally a craver of comfort and reassurance, I love when WandA takes complete control and makes decisions for me, but he doesn't like doing it for a lot of things.

    I think we have a good balance though, he's mostly "in charge" which I like but there's a lot of give and take too. I'd like to lose a little more control to him, but I don't think he'd like the responsibility.

    Adx

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Well Ad, you did complain when I planned our meals for 2 weeks (you have also called me a control freak within the last hour too [yes, I am])... You can't have the control where you want and leave me with all the toughies!

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    headsouth wrote:

    shellyboo wrote:

    I'm a proper 24/7 sub now... not just in bed ^_^ Never been happier!

    Not a surrendered wife I take it? That's just scary!

    I'd never heard of that before, Headsouth! Just looking at the wiki page for it and I have to say it doesn't sound too far from my own attitude. I am, at heart, a total OCD control freak. In the kitchen, in the office, in my life... I like being in control. Being out of control makes me quite anxious.

    However, Being in control in a relationship has ended badly for me in the past -- I turned into a very nasty gf, nothing my partner could do was right, I was highly critical and I didn't like myself. I knew I was making my partner miserable, and I was miserable. In this relationship, my boyfriend doesn't put up with any of that stroppy shit. He's in charge and he pretty much knows me better than I know myself... he knows when to tease me, when to calm me and when to just say no. It works perfectly for us :)

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Well Ad, you did complain when I planned our meals for 2 weeks (you have also called me a control freak within the last hour too [yes, I am])... You can't have the control where you want and leave me with all the toughies!

    Lol, I would freak if he told me what I was gonna eat for the next two days never mind two weeks! Even I have my limits ;)

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    shellyboo wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    Well Ad, you did complain when I planned our meals for 2 weeks (you have also called me a control freak within the last hour too [yes, I am])... You can't have the control where you want and leave me with all the toughies!

    Lol, I would freak if he told me what I was gonna eat for the next two days never mind two weeks! Even I have my limits ;)

    See that's too much even for a lifestyle sub (which I'm thinking is probably exactly what I am too - I like handing over control to WandA because I trust him)!

    I like you being a control freak, I like knowing what I'm eating and having no choice (it makes me eat healthier too which I want!). As long as I'm looked after I feel safe and secure.

    I know I *could* do all these things for myself, but it's nice having someone looking after me!

    Adx

    1284165331
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Suck it now bitch.

    That good enough? Hah!

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    shellyboo [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Suck it now bitch.

    That good enough? Hah!


    Sounds to me like you got this Dom thing down, WandA!

    *wanders off to distract the boy from the Xbox*

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    spguy30 [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    I was just wondering what is more popular? I answered a post about 'pegging', so I'm just wondering on how other people feel about the issue.

    Are there a poor excess of dominant personalities who have no one to boss around or are there lots of lost submissives without direction!

    I know this is hardly a scientific setting for data collection but I was just curious as to what the lovehoneyers prefer.

    Me personally I'm probably more dominant than my girlfriend, more so during sex, I find it really hard to not take over! Blowjobs are a mixture, I love seeing how it gets my partner off when she wants it so she can take it, and sometimes am happy to use her as she wants. When it comes to givin oral I have to just roll over! I love being submissive when giving head!

    I think I'd find it slightly difficult if I was with a strict sub or dom as I like to mix it about.

    Any thoughts that people would like to share? Are most people a mixture? What attracts some people to a wholly submissive/dominant relationship?

    Would have to say Switch.... Like to switch roles depending on my mood ect

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    lovinleather [sign in to see picture]
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    I definetly have a bit of both in me.

    I love telling my other half exactly what I want her to wear including her collar and then she submits to my every desire until I am satisfied.

    On the other hand I love her to use me and abuse me and i'd do anything in my power to please her ;)

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm 100% sub *but* I adore my OH and he likes the confidence of me taking charge from time to time so I enjoy that too now :) Just have to be in the right mood for it!

    Adx

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    lovinleather [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    I'm 100% sub *but* I adore my OH and he likes the confidence of me taking charge from time to time so I enjoy that too now :) Just have to be in the right mood for it!

    Adx

    Yeah, my other half is a bit new to it so she's getting the feel of being a bit more dominant but she's getting bloomin' good at it!

    1296688806

    [suspended user]

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    I like being both

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    Inara14 [sign in to see picture]
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    I could only ever conceive of myself as being submissive. If anyone tried putting me in the dominant role I owuld have no idea what to do...Id stand there being indecisive and wayyy too nice. Itd be a disaster.

    1296692707

    [suspended user]

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    nice dom could be nice

    1296696739
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    Not entirely sure, but there are aspects of both that really appeal to me. I enjoy both sides of most activities, so I guess that makes me a switch, but I'm not really comfortable in either role yet.

    Also I have trouble with the role-playing / psychological side of it, as it's so hard to get into either mindset - both have aspects that are major turn-offs for me, so I tend to approach everything from more of a "sensation play" angle, concentrating on what feels good.

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    HappyCouple [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the term is "I'm a 'switch'" I like a bit of both, my OH loves being dominated completely so that leaves me doing all the work all of the time (unless I pull her on top ). When I say I like being dominated at times, this is not to the extreme where she has a strap-on, just taking some control instead of lying back and taking it however I decide

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    slavek [sign in to see picture]
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    Used to be able to switch and i must say that up until a couple of years ago i would say that i prefered to play the dominant role. Since my relationship with D things have changed and i now feel the need to be totally submissive to her.

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    Sweet-kitten [sign in to see picture]
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    I am definitely a Switch. I love the versatility this gives me. It is the greatest fun when I get to play with another switch.................anything could happen. LOL.

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