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  1. Do you prefer being the Dom or Sub?

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    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    I naturally slip into subbishness even with totally vanilla lovers. It's terrible, I've taken so many innocent guys and brought out their masterful streak, then set them free on the world. One of my mates in uni called me "the defiler", which was lovely of him.

    Did try dom once or twice at the request of a partner, and while I can go through the motions, I don't get anything out of it. Only been able to with a partner that I'm completely comfortable with, and when it's for him, so in a way it's still got a submissive element (being ordered to take charge and doing as your told isn't exactly in the spirit of it!). I just don't get the same thrill as I do giving myself over to someone else's control, given the choice I'd be sub every time.

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    Artel [sign in to see picture]
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    LoveHoney - Hella Rouge wrote:

    Oi oi you lot, the CAPS isn't offensive. I'll grant you it's annoying, but there's no need to get testy about it.

    Bonny was msn'ing me in caps yesterday - she was doing something weird, but whatever, Trevor!

    Just chiiiiillllllll! She may be mobile or have another reason for writing like that, live and let live yo'. It doesn't give a very nice impression of the OA if people get so mardy over caps, does it? Especially when a member is simply contributing to the discussion. If it bothers y'all that much, send me an email and I'll retype it in future, I don't mind ^_^

    Yeah, and apparently I'm a bloody switch these days. FML. Haha.

    x

    Some online translation sites will, by default, give a translation in block capitals. It is possible that these messages could come from an overseas forum member. Maybe not but it is a possibility.

    Personally speaking, I'm not fussed and find one post in caps is less irritating that the five that follow pointing it out.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it was because she had ignored everyone in every response they have about it made since she popped up.

    I'm sorry if I came across as harsh though!

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    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    Wickedgirl wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    I think it was because she had ignored everyone in every response they have about it made since she popped up.

    I'm sorry if I came across as harsh though!

    No I don't think you did I don't think it is just the caps there isn't something off key altogether

    Indeed. There's even been a few where she's made the same post, almost word for word, in the same thread a couple of weeks later. Plus the never responding, just randomly posting in threads and then vanishing again. Just seems very weird altogether.

    Oh well, Hella's mailed off, hopefully it'll all sort itself out before another storm blows through.

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    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    Wickedgirl wrote:

    Nexas wrote:

    Wickedgirl wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    I think it was because she had ignored everyone in every response they have about it made since she popped up.

    I'm sorry if I came across as harsh though!

    No I don't think you did I don't think it is just the caps there isn't something off key altogether

    I'd...agree with that TBH...

    Another thing (apart from my grammar getting twisted) Isn't it he not she

    Changes depending on the post. Profile says Male, has a female pic, and sometimes speaks as if it's a woman, other times as a man. Could always be a shared profile, but it's not diminishing the hinky feeling.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Phew! My Mr Nice guy image is still intact.

    (Image is all it is!)

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    Doug [sign in to see picture]
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    getting back on topic

    Never actual been dom or sub, but would really like to try both, and i think that in a realationship it might have an effect if one person is always dom/sub, and not mixing it up a bit

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    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    Doug wrote:

    getting back on topic

    Never actual been dom or sub, but would really like to try both, and i think that in a realationship it might have an effect if one person is always dom/sub, and not mixing it up a bit

    I don't know. I tend to be quite bolshy out of the bedroom. I guess it depends on if it's a 24-7 situation where one's in charge and the other never gets a say, that might cause problems (I know it works for some people, but think they're the exception rather than the norm).

    I have had guys concerned that once they took that step, that everything would be different and it'd be impossible to "act normal" ever again, but I've never found it to be the case, although it takes a bit of getting used to for someone still worried and holding back.

    There is the whole concept of 'the power of the slave', where the sub actually wields an equal amount of power because without their continued concent and aquiescence the dom has none (how can there be a master without a slave to rule over?). Seeing it in that light, neither is ever giving up anything, and both are in balance because you can only give away as much power as you yourself are given. If that makes sense.

    But yeah, perfectly normal to worry about the effect it'll have, but it's the kind of thing that you need to try before you can see just how easily it can slot into your life and relationship as an addition, not a change.

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it's a blurred line for me. How submissed am I really being when I'm telling them to pin my wrist down and f*ck me hard?

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    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies wrote:

    I think it's a blurred line for me. How submissed am I really being when I'm telling them to pin my wrist down and f*ck me hard?

    typo, oops.

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    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Ohhh definatley a sub, I just LOVE a good spanking! I also like it when they take control and when they talk dirty. But for me there has to be just a bedroom when I'm in the mood thing. I wouldnt have it the rest of the time. I do also love being blindfolded and teasted oh and tied up! Brilliant! Ohhhh it makes me horny just thinking about it! Lol! Never tried nipple clamps or electro, can anyone comment about them?

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    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
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    apologies if I've upset anyone - I do have a short temper at times.

    On thread: We switch but I prefer to be submissive. Most of my fantasies are submissive. I'm learning to dom to indulge hubby in his pleasures.

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    GHxx [sign in to see picture]
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    Nexas wrote:

    I think I can tell when I'm gonna feel sub...when I've had a day where I've been very authoritative and dominating in normal life, my sex life needs to be the opposite.

    cant agree more Nexas!

    if my day has been hard work, and ive been doing a lot of hands on teaching... i want somebody to tell me exactly what to do in bed... i dont want any authority then...

    otherwise i'll happily take all the control...

    xGHx

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    dolly_1983 [sign in to see picture]
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    I cant be dom im useless at it, its not even a small part of me. im sure my gf would like me to be dom some times, but i just cant do it at all. maybe we need a dom for us both ;)

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    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Most of my fantasies involve being a sub, but by OH likes being a sub too so I can being a dom when I have to be. For me theres nothing sexier than being tied up, blindfolded, teased and spanked.

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    toxycat [sign in to see picture]
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    MasqueradeMinx wrote:

    Most of my fantasies involve being a sub, but by OH likes being a sub too so I can being a dom when I have to be. For me theres nothing sexier than being tied up, blindfolded, teased and spanked.

    Yeah i have to agree.....love playing the sub role......being tied up and teased.....but then again im quite happy to play a dominant role in the bedroom when the mood takes it.......ill happily dish out the punishment......;)

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    littlepixi [sign in to see picture]
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    im definatly a sub i love being told what to do etc but catch me in a bad mood and i definatly become very dominant just to take the stress out but a good 99% of the time im submissive. xxx

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    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    Ahhhh yes to take the stress out on our poor unsuspecting OHs. I did that once and his ass was so red and he couldnt still down for days, wooops lol. Needless to say he got me back and made me cook him a special meal and oral for desert.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    *gulp*

    Crazy ladies....

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    littlepixi [sign in to see picture]
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    haha the crazy ones are always the best . xxx

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