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  1. Advice needed.

    Gillysilly1993 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2013

    My other half is going to university in September. Its ok but he is going to be quite far away from where I live so I wont get to see him that much :(. Im 19 and hes 20 and we have an amazing sex life and im worried that with him going away that it will change.

    Any tips on how to keep the spark between us even with the long distance?


    WeeSteve [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1008
    • Joined: 22 Feb 2011

    Well the harsh truth is that it will change, your relationship will be diffrent simple because you cant just hang out with each other face to face when ever you feel like it.

    Skypeing is good cause you can still talk and see each other but you cant socialise.

    You can try to meet up during holidays or weekends perhaps (depending on jobs and such obvs)but if your not prepared for the fact that it is going to change your going to get really hurt.

    FrozenAngel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1292
    • Joined: 20 May 2011

    Things will change, and the change will either make your realtionship much stronger or it will break it apart.

    I don't wish to be rude by saying that, but LD is hard, and it takes commitment and trust. You'll both have seperate lifes to live, doing different things and making new friends. You need to remember to make time for each other, you may not be with each other everyday or even talk everyday but if you don't make that time then it could very will tear you apart.

    The sex life doesn't have to change much, however you'll be getting it a lot less. Skype will be your new best friend, to be able to talk on it; and use the webcam facilities it can even be a tool to have virtual 'date nights'

    The change really depends on how much you want the realtionship to work; if you want it and work hard for it, it will flourish. But if you neglect it and make it not a priority then it will wilt.

    GL with it all.

    LilMissFrustrated [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 955
    • Joined: 9 Aug 2011

    Goodness im going to sound like im 96 but in my day we didn't have skype, Kik, whatsapp, texts blah blah blah. Use the technology you have to hand but also old fashioned stuff like letters, tiny gifts and phonecalls.

    Biggest advice is its bloody hard work and any differences you have will be magnified but you have to work hard to make it suceed .

    Good luck.

    Gillysilly1993 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 6 Jun 2013

    Thanks everyone for the advice :)

    Naughty Miss K [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 752
    • Joined: 20 Nov 2012

    I'm in a similar boat, I went away to uni last september, and now the OH is 5 hours away (6 and a half on sundays). It really is hard. Getting through freshers week takes a lot of trust on either side, because there will be the normal assumptions and connotations that come with freshers week. But if you both work at it you'll pull through. It helps to schedule visits ahead of time, gives you both something to look forward to. The other thing to think of is it's not just getting to used to not being aorund you that he has to get used to. I've found my course incredibly challenging, and my OH has been really good and understanding when I can't talk or I get frustrated with him because I'm not getting alont with flatmates or I'm stressing over a deadline.

    The best thing to do is both go in with an open mind and don't set too many expectations, because until you both get into the swing of your LDR, it will be hard, more so if you've set expectations.

    Good luck to both of you, we're always all here for advice and support when needed

    Naughty Miss K xx

    saucey21 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 128
    • Joined: 19 Mar 2013

    i met my hubby in the august holidays between yr 2-3. i then went back to uni in the sept. we met each other at least every other w/e he would visit or i would go home. the best advice i can offer is be open with each other. talk or communicate regularly. its easier now than it was 15 yrs ago. its the little things that will make the most difference. little presents or notes or texts to let each other know you are still thinking of them.

    you both need to have a long talk before he goes away. your expectations of each other etc.

    just to say i;m still with him after 15 yrs it can be done. people might say you're young and it won't work. i was 20.

    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 706
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    It will be hard and it will be different. It's more the fact that he's starting university than moving away that you're likely to find difficult. University changes a lot of people and there are often issues around jealousy that he'll be meeting new people and going out drinking a lot. I'm not saying this to worry you at all, if you're strong then you'll be absolutely fine. But it's something that you need to discuss with him before he leaves.

    I was in an LDR for the first year and a half of uni with my high school boyfriend. We were very rocky and unstable, our relationship always was, so it didn't work between us. But we used to write letters to each other sometimes and talked on the phone. We'd occasionally arrange little hotel breaks away so that we'd get away from it all which was nice.

    Never used Skype but everyone recommends it! xx

    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1763
    • Joined: 23 Jun 2012

    God it's hard! I done this with two guys. I was crazy about them both. They said they were crazy about me but we drifted apart. I'm not saying that's gonna happen to you but it will ever make or break your relationship.
    I used to spend most if my evenings on Skype, sending texts or FB messages etc. I was always getting massive phone bills because we would spend all day on the phone in between classes, and I would go over my contracted minutes.
    Because I live in Ireland and they went to Scotland for uni I had to book flights well in advance so go see them. My advise to you is that you pre plan weekend to see each other in advance and try book some train or bus tickets now. Because if you leave it to the last minute there tend to always be some party or something that comes up and you spend your money on it and then can't afford to go see the other person etc x

    myothertoy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 50
    • Joined: 29 Aug 2012

    Your relationship will change, but you can make it work. Skype, phone, Facebook, texts etc. You can see each other in holidays and weekends. The distance could strenghen your relationship as you will appriciate seeing each other so much more.

    I'm hoping to be transfered with work when my OH goes off to Uni, if that's what she decides to do. Something we have discussed a lot.

    Wish you all the best, I'm sure you guys will figure something out.

    Fizz and Sparkle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 146
    • Joined: 10 Mar 2009

    my son and his girlfriend have managed to stay together for her first year of uni, (they met few months before she went) hopefuly they will continue to be together

    i think it was more difficult for him being left at home, as she was kept busy with new friends etc, and they have had ups and downs, but they see each other as much as possible (she is long way away) and talk on skype, text etc every day.

    as with all relationships, honesty and communication are the key x

    good luck hope it all works out

    BlankeMaus [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 77
    • Joined: 9 Nov 2009

    I think you're both young and shouldn't put so much pressure on yourselves, obviously the uni thing has been known to both of you and now it;s here I'd say allow eachother freedom with honesty. Don't cling too tightly to each other or your day to day lives will suffer for it.

    Keep in touch regulariry but don't make big deals out of missed calls and no texts. Don't focus on how dreadful it is to be apart but how great it is that you can keep in touch. Remember these years are meant to be fun and memorable. You won't get them back so take the pressure off eachother and take each day as a new day. Good Luck.

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