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  1. Getting in the mood!

    bigboobs22 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
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    • Joined: 15 Jan 2013

    I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years now. When we first got together we were literally having sex pretty much every day and I loved it. Recently I've just completely gone off sex and I don't know why? He wants it a lot obviously and I feel bad that I can't give it too him all the time. I have vibrators and rabbits that I love but when it comes to sex I just can't be bothered? We're only young and I'd love to know what helps get other girls in the mood! Help?!

    bite me. [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 26 Oct 2011

    You shouldn't feel like you have to have sex, but it can be difficult when theres a difference in sex drive. I'm pretty much always in the mood but here are a few things to try: romantic dinner? get him to give you a massage (thats a good one!) if you have a costume fantasy or a fantasy scenario, ask your partner to act it out? Im actually a big day dreamer so I spend a lot of my time imagining having sex, and that often gets me horny haha! hope this helps a bit :)


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2395
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2013

    I agree with bite me. Especially about the massage that really gets me in the mood! I love when my partner lights some candles and puts some music on. Get a nice massage oil too. And it's always lovely to have a nice meal together.

    blonde vixen13 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1763
    • Joined: 23 Jun 2012

    I know how you feel. After my first baby I found I had no libdo at all. My partner found this extremely difficult because during the pregnancy i was like a dog on heat. I often found I was just having sex because I felt I needed to please him and didn't want a row if I said I wasn't in the mood. But once I sat down and fully explained how I was feeling he started to make more of an effort. Cooking me dinner, running me a candle light bath and bringing me a glass of wine. Flowers and chocolate for no reason. A massage to help me relax. It all sounds very cliched but that old fashioned romance helpede greatly and made me feel loved. I was terrified that at 26 my sex life had dried up. Then I also started to read erotic books after 50 shades of grey came out. From this I found myself getting turned on and wanting to try new toys etc. so my partner would suprice me a new vibrator or massage oil from on here and we would have fun trying it out.
    Try not to stress about it.
    Another thing that can cause loss of libdo is medications. Have you started taking any tablets in recent months? Alot of my friends have found the pill made them not want sex anymore

    sexcow [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 29 Jul 2012

    I find that when I do some activity with my OH that gets our heart heart, like bike riding, swiming, jogging or kickboxing that our sex drive is a lot higher and we have a lot more sex.

    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 188
    • Joined: 14 Feb 2009

    abstinance is great for boosting libido.

    ban sex for a week - but continue to flirt and tease each other.

    by the end of the week, you will both be gagging for it.

    Khaleesi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 337
    • Joined: 1 Jun 2012

    xmorningxgloryx wrote:

    Best advice I can give is to stop beating yourself up about it.. Putting any pressure on yourself when it comes to sex always leads to problems. The more you think about something the worse it seems to get.

    This is very true!

    First, you are not the only young couple who have this problem. It can hit any couple at any age so please don’t worry or feel guilty about this.

    As naughty nurse 85 has said there are many different reasons for your libido dropping. I really didn’t feel like sex after having my coil fitted- it completely freaked me out and I felt so un-sexy I didn’t even want to undress in front of my OH and I just felt awkward.

    Reasons for your libido dropping can include, stress, contraception, lifestyle changes, diet, the weather and so on. So don’t think on it too much. Most likely thing is that this is temporary and it will come back sooner or later!

    I agree with the above posts- there are lots of things you can do and you might have to try a few things before you find out what works best.

    My best advice is go out together. Have a nice meal and enjoy each other’s company. When you get home curl up naked in bed together- leave the sex for now, just relax in being intimate together. Maybe massage each other and bring out the candles and rose petals.

    The above suggestions about films with sex scenes in are great too! Erotic books and a new toy can always put you in the mood!

    Talking about this can help a lot too; it did in my case anyway.

    I’m sure your libido will come back in time and try not to think on it too much Xx

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