• Cock-teasers..... your opinion?

    1367149123

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 193
    • Joined: 1 Apr 2013

    I was in a pub with a friend, when he said there was a couple of attractive young women sitting behind me, who were giggling and flirting with him like he was the best thing they'd seen in a long time.

    We invited them to join us and we proceded to chat. Pleasantries over, they started to flirt lke crazy, laughing at everything we said, smiles with prolonged eye contact, and lots of touching. We couldn't believe our luck..... a couple of nymphomanics, for sure !

    Eventually we proposed that they come back to my friend's place for a drink. At which..... they suddenly changed, becoming really serious. They said that it was time for them to go, but (with a sneer) they said they'd have a REALLY good think about it. We all left the pub, we went our way (somewhat bemused) and they went theirs. A moment later, one of them runs back and catches up with us..... and says 'We had a think about it and decided..... "NO". And with that she turned and went off.

    I mentioned this in another post (sorry if you read it before), but I'm wondering what people think of this incident. Did my friend and I get everything we deserved? Or were these women out-of-order? What's the point of cock-teasing? And is cock-teasing just a female to male thing, or do women sometimes have men give them a sexual 'come-on' and then, when they show interest, the man backs off?

    1367149469
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1219
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    ever thought that sometimes people just want to have a drink with some new company an a flirt ~? why would you assume flirting always has to lead to sex .. and to be honest , it would have been pretty silly of them to go round the house of some stranger theyd just met in a bar , no ?

    it DOES sound juvenile that one of them ran back and said no .. but alcohol makes people silly sometimes . but in my honest opinion .. a flirt is harmless , even if it is a heavy flirt , and NOT neccesarily ''cock teasing''

    1367149858

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 193
    • Joined: 1 Apr 2013

    rubysoho wrote:

    ever thought that sometimes people just want to have a drink with some new company an a flirt ~? why would you assume flirting always has to lead to sex .. and to be honest , it would have been pretty silly of them to go round the house of some stranger theyd just met in a bar , no ?

    it DOES sound juvenile that one of them ran back and said no .. but alcohol makes people silly sometimes . but in my honest opinion .. a flirt is harmless , even if it is a heavy flirt , and NOT neccesarily ''cock teasing''

    Agreed that a flirt is fine..... so long as the recipient takes it as a bit of fun and a compliment. But there's surely a difference between this and sexually coming on strong, as if to say 'You really turn me on and I can't wait to get my hands on you'...... ?

    1367154417
    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 708
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    It's a power thing. It's a silly, drunken thing. It's something that almost every woman has done at some point!

    They were obviously looking for a harmless flirt but either they took things a little bit far (probably because they were tipsy) or you just misread the signals. The fact that you were sure they were nymphomaniacs kinda proves that you were reading into their signals a bit too much. Touching someone and giving them eye contact does not mean you want to have sex with them.

    As rubysoho said, it was a little immature of them to come up to you afterwards and say no but they were probably just a bit drunk and silly, and maybe a little freaked out that you had invited them back to your friend's house.

    Would definitely not class this as *cock teasing*

    1367173546
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 808
    • Joined: 27 Sep 2007

    I wonder if they were aware that to make intentional but unrequested physical contact with another person constitutes an offence of battery which is covered both in tort and criminal law. That the contact was meant as a joke is no defence.

    Perhaps they would also understand you were just having a bit of a laugh if they wound up in court.

    1367173852
    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2736
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    Not every girl is looking for a one night stand some people do have standards at the end of the day , having a flirt and a drink doesnt mean your going to get laid. Enjoy the attention just like the girls did .

    1367173911
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1219
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    Gyrator53 wrote:

    I wonder if they were aware that to make intentional but unrequested physical contact with another person constitutes an offence of battery which is covered both in tort and criminal law. That the contact was meant as a joke is no defence.

    Perhaps they would also understand you were just having a bit of a laugh if they wound up in court.

    LOL ill have to remember that in future , im very tactile , more so when drunk :/ eeep !

    1367175266

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 193
    • Joined: 1 Apr 2013

    dotdashdot wrote:

    they were probably just a bit drunk and silly, and maybe a little freaked out that you had invited them back to your friend's house.

    Would definitely not class this as *cock teasing*

    Gyrator53 wrote:

    I wonder if they were aware that to make intentional but unrequested physical contact with another person constitutes an offence of battery which is covered both in tort and criminal law. That the contact was meant as a joke is no defence.

    Perhaps they would also understand you were just having a bit of a laugh if they wound up in court.

    DDD.... actually if you had been sitting at another table in that pub, you would have thought 'What ARE those women playing at?' and 'Those men must be complete numpties'.

    I should add that it occurred in London in the late 70's, when feminism was centre-stage. Most women had just woken up to 'patriarchy' and were very aware of the thing about men treating women as 'sex objects'.

    I think these two women were out to trick us into behaving in a 'typically male' way..... ie sit with our tongues out, drooling over their womanly bodies. Their 'faite accompli' was then to grind our noses in the dust. Times were different then. Young women nowadays seem to be into presenting themselves as 'cool chicks'.... liberated, in-yer-face and sexy. The sexy bit was uncool in those days. I was at Art college at the time, and one female student was into doing paintings of naked women bound in ropes. She got so much flak from her fellow female students, that she decided to leave.

    LOL !! G53

    Pity I didn't know that at the time. My mate and I could have turned serious too. It might just have wiped the smug smile off these women's pretty little faces!

    1367177193

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 193
    • Joined: 1 Apr 2013

    MrBumcheeks wrote:

    This has never happened to me.

    To be shown that kind of attention, even if it was just a giggle, would make my night. I wouldn't read anything into it, although I would quietly take it as some kind of compliment nonetheless.

    In fact I think I would find it a little off-putting if I thought the woman DID want to have sex with me after a single meeting!

    Although what I will say is, on odd occasions I have had a girl 'flirt' with me, only to swiftly discover that it was just a piss-take, to give her and/or her friends some entertainment. And that in my opinion is just not cricket, because it's more malicious than playful then.

    Yup, Mr B

    On the whole (and on the hole) I really like women. But they do say that women can be cruel.... women concentration camp guards were no better in the 'humanity stakes' than their male colleagues.

    1367180085
    Lou22 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 600
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    I agree with Mr Bumcheeks that having people flirt etc with you to then find out its basically for a laugh is awful and that is a horrible way to treat people, if those girls were doing it for the reasons you suspect then yes it was just a pointless joke and you unfortunately were the target but i feel the thread is about more than that.

    You asked about cock teasing, the point of it and if it was wrong etc. and i would say that if it is happening then it would be about having a bit of control but of course whether or not a person is being led on sexually is entirely a matter of opinion.

    When i was single and i'd go out with my friends sometimes i'd talk to guys and if i did flirt a bit it was because i liked them and possibly wanted to see them again but i wouldn't have gone home with them because casual sex just isn't for me and if they'd asked i would have backed off. Of course i know now that there's a good chance my flirting had me coming across as a nymphomanic!

    From what you said of their behaviour it does sound like they were flirting heavily but that doesn't necessarily mean you want to have sex with someone straight away.

    As others have said some people just enjoy a bit of a flirt when they go out and although i agree that their behaviour was a little childish afterwards its possible that for some people in that situation when things start moving quicker than expected they run off.

    1367188312
    BDSM [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 186
    • Joined: 14 Feb 2009

    I don't understand why you thought you had met a couple of nymphomaniacs just because they were flirting with you.

    If what they did was cock teasing, then that means that the minute a girl starts to flirt, she has to have sex, otherwise she must be a cock tease. Changing her mind at any point, must be her right.

    Maybe they were flirting genuinely to see if there was a spark.

    Maybe it was a wind up from the start, designed to boost their own egos.

    such is life...

    1367191050
    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2018
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    You call it cock teasing, I call it manipulating. Its not specifically a female trait and I have been on the receiving end of a man I had a huge crush on, taking advantage of that to "use" me for his purposes. (Do his work) but I think more females to males use manipulation to get something they want. Maybe they wanted drinks or a funny story to laugh about or attention...whatever.

    Why don't I call it cock teasing? because the phrase actually annoys me to be honest. "Stop thinking with your cocks and use your heads" I want to shout, "and then your cocks wont be teased at all". This phrase screams of entitlement; "She touched me/looked at me longer/flirted....then didnt give me the pussy....what? Surely I was entitled to the pussy? I bought her a drink for goodness sake...why no pussy?

    Nope.

    I do of course understand it can be heartbreaking in different situations where someone leads you on just to use you and they use flirting and teasing to get what they want. This is bang out of order of course and usually takes a while to wake up to this behaviour and put a stop to it. I am also aware that some women go out specifically to take advantage of this young male trait to only be thinking with his cock and get them buying drinks all night. I really do not think the best place to meet someone is on a night out.

    Guys here is a tip:

    Go out NOT expecting to get laid. Only buy a woman drinks or give her attention because in that moment YOU are actually having fun and want to do it just because you do, rather than through expectations. Dont expect sex, just give her your number at the end of the night and if she genuinely liked you...hoorah she will text/call. If you go out throwing your cash at a woman and devoting all your attention at her all night only to find out she isnt interested then you will go home disappointed and if repeated, start getting bitter about it, yet you have no one to blame in reality but yourself for being silly. A tipsy woman having a flirt and a giggle with mates does not make a cock tease. What makes a cock tease is your expectations of what that woman should and isnt giving you. Just because you fancy her doesnt mean she is in to you and no amount of drinks is likely to change her mind (Unless you enjoy sex with a steaming woman who either cant remember or regrets the fact you shagged her the next day in which case... yay you.)

    I do not support the women who think its cool to go out and take advantage of a mans hornyness by flirting to get what she wants but hell it happens and it wont stop until well....men stop buying them drinks? It isnt just women that use manipulation to get what they want though, ever noticed how romantic and attentive a man is in those first few months together, only to watch it fizzle away when hes got what he wants? :D Everyone is guilty lol

    1367233844
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 808
    • Joined: 27 Sep 2007

    I think this sort of behaviour deserves more censure. If someone drives a car while drunk or incites someone else to do so it's rightly considered morally and legally wrong. We take that stance because the consequences can be ruined lives. We take a similar view in incitement to violence. However, what I'm hearing from some here is that being drunk somehow absolves these women from responsibility for what might potentially have happened.

    They didn't know anything about the men they were winding up - most especially they didn't know if they were the sort of characters that could accept the 'joke' in good grace or not. What if these men had gone away from this little joke and raped some woman who was not involved? Are we saying they would had no moral responsibility for their part in precipitating such a disaster? To my mind they would be morally if not legally culpable.

    Sure - a flirt where all concerned are quite aware of what the score is is fine. Acting like you are after a one-night stand as some kind of experiment in winding up a total stranger of unknown mental state is quite different. The suggestion that because some are just out for a good time and the guys should realise that is, to my mind, no excuse because there are also women out there who ARE after a one-night stand so it would not be unreasonable for the guys to assume they had encountered one if they find a woman acting like that.

    1367234119
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1219
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    Gyrator53 wrote:

    I think this sort of behaviour deserves more censure. If someone drives a car while drunk or incites someone else to do so it's rightly considered morally and legally wrong. We take that stance because the consequences can be ruined lives. We take a similar view in incitement to violence. However, what I'm hearing from some here is that being drunk somehow absolves these women from responsibility for what might potentially have happened.

    They didn't know anything about the men they were winding up - most especially they didn't know if they were the sort of characters that could accept the 'joke' in good grace or not. What if these men had gone away from this little joke and raped some woman who was not involved? Are we saying they would had no moral responsibility for their part in precipitating such a disaster? To my mind they would be morally if not legally culpable.

    Sure - a flirt where all concerned are quite aware of what the score is is fine. Acting like you are after a one-night stand as some kind of experiment in winding up a total stranger of unknown mental state is quite different. The suggestion that because some are just out for a good time and the guys should realise that is, to my mind, no excuse because there are also women out there who ARE after a one-night stand so it would not be unreasonable for the guys to assume they had encountered one if they find a woman acting like that.

    are you saying that a flirt without a fuck at the end would lead the man to rape ????? no the woman woukd NOT be responsible , the asshole who went out raping people would be soley responsible for that abhorration . you could say the same that he watched some porn yet wasunable that time to actually cum .. therefore rape would be the logical conclusion .

    a man or woman who forcabley MAKES someone have sex against their will is SOLEY to blame for their actions . a flirt , or a low cut top an short skirt are NOT to blame . jesus . people who think like you actually terrify me .

    1367236128
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 808
    • Joined: 27 Sep 2007

    The point I was making is that in this situation the women have no idea of the mental state of man involved. Many of the perpetrators of the worst crimes are mentally deranged - one could argue that they are all by definition mentally deranged. I have not and would not argue that incitement in any way lessens the culpability of the perpetrator. What I am arguing is that by acting irresponsibly in our dealings with others we can also be culpable in the disasters that ensue.

    What you seem to be saying is its perfectly ok for me to go out and wind some nutter up to, say, stab someone and I have no responsibility for that because I hadn't bothered to check he was a nutter before I did it.

    Now that is scary.

    1367236217
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1219
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    rolls eyes .. so .. before going out .. i should make sure i DONT speak to anyone , dont smile , dont make eye contact , dont have a laugh with anyone i may meet as .. in their head it could be more an they could go off and assault someone or kill someone after if things dont go their way ? have a word .

    1367236566
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1219
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    tell me , before you sit down at a table with someone you meet for the first time , do you have a checklist of questions about mental health and emotional stability before doing so ? doubtful

    1367237453
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 808
    • Joined: 27 Sep 2007

    Before I made physical contact with someone (as these women did) I would want to know a great deal about them. It certainly wouldn't happen on a first meeting. And, yes, when I sit down to dinner with someone I have not met before I am extremely careful to keep the conversation at an innocuous level.

    As a former lecturer I have dealt with people in a delicate mental state so yes, I am cautious about how I approach people.

    I most certainly wouldn't indulge in the kind of irresponsible wind-up that we are discussing here - probably not with anyone and most certainly not a stranger.

    1367237810
    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1219
    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    laughing , having a few drinks , making eye contact and casually touching someones arm or leg in conversation is NOT a wind up .... its just an average night making friends ! lordy

    1367241500
    Fizz and Sparkle [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 146
    • Joined: 10 Mar 2009

    rubysoho wrote:

    laughing , having a few drinks , making eye contact and casually touching someones arm or leg in conversation is NOT a wind up .... its just an average night making friends ! lordy

    I agree with this! and as woman if a man was flirting with me I would take it as a compliment and with a pinch of salt and def not think he was going to have to put out!!!!

    Thread closed

    This thread is closed, so no new messages can be posted.