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  1. Looking for advice

    Gavvvy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 5
    • Joined: 23 Mar 2013

    New to the forum so first off hi guys!

    Me and my gf have been going out for over a year and a half and i think i might want to try a threesome either FFM or MMF but i know that she wont want to do it and may think that i dont find her good enough.

    I dont know how to put it to her so she dosnt fall out with me or even worse than that.

    I know i should just be honest and we have tried pegging before and she was open to that but any advice would be welcome

    MizzCreeper [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 9 Mar 2013

    Well, to start off hello! (:

    And to deal with your question, I had boyfriends and girlfriends in the past that wanted the same thing but also on the same page that it had nothing to do with me not being good enough. You guys seem to be together for a long period of time, in my opinion just try easing her into the idea. Maybe try bringing it into conversation every once in a while, just to see how she feels towards it. Try saying that it has nothing to do with her, tell her how you feel about her in that sexual manner, and try saying how you just want to add a little spice or something new to the bedroom. Just remember though, don't pressure her into it or else she will just become distant!

    Sorry if I didn't help much! Best of luck with it though! (:

    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1064
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    Look at the language you've used. You think you MIGHT. You know she won't.

    My first thought is that this might be something that's best kept a fantasy for now. My second thought is that maybe it's something you have stronger feelings about but are apprehensive about saying so.

    There are several threads on threesomes in the archives. They're worth reading through since they include years of experiences from people who are no longer active in the forums. May as well draw on that since it's here. Perhaps something someone wrote will feel especially relevant to your particulars.

    (P.S. Human psychology being what it is, the more you tell your OH that it's not about her, the more likely she'll be convinced it is.)

    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2018
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    Maybe this is silly advice, maybe not but why not try and imagine something you would not like to to..... think of something you would really not want to do at all, got something?

    Ok now imagine how you would want to be persuaded into it? :D

    hehe what I am trying to say is you must have your suspicions that shes really against this idea, because well, you think shes gunna fall out with you and doubt your relationship and herself over the mention of your fantasy. So as Rosehip said, read through the threesome threads (A lot of people find the reality is not as fun as the fantasy, me included, some find it better.) and maybe keep it as a fantasy.

    However if you are really really convinced you want to do this, honesty (complete and utter transparant honest) is the best way to deal with it, tell her exactly how and why you feel you want to try something but also tell her its just a fantasy and explain to her how it isnt about her and your feelings for her are as strong as ever etc.

    KebertXela [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 416
    • Joined: 11 Feb 2013

    She doesnt want a threesome, so either you dont have one, or you dont have her.


    protectyournuts [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 151
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2009

    How very to the point! But yes, if she doesn't want it the choice is what matter more, her or the threesome. Some fantasies best stay fantasies, I know a guy who once organised one and it fell apart and he ended up losing the girl (ironically to another girl rather than to a fella) but the desire to experience it caused a hole that couldn't be repaired. Maybe satisfy your need with some threesome porn and erotica etc? And keep it just you two for now

    Georgina71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 124
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2012

    I agree with KebertXela. I know I would be deeply hurt if my man proposed a threesome. I would not mind if he fantasized about it; I have a lot of fantasies that would be dangerous to try to realize in real life. Besides, a threesome can be very upsetting for a couple's balance.

    So, my advice is: masturbate to your heart's, or dick's, content while imagining a threesome, but don't risk compromising your relationship.

    KebertXela [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 416
    • Joined: 11 Feb 2013

    To be clear, I wasnt suggesting chuck the fantasy as the correct choice.

    But one is going to have to go.

    SadisticRogue [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 7
    • Joined: 22 Mar 2013

    Threesome's are best when single with no Strings they can complicate a good relation ship. Even the no strings ones have given me stress before.

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