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  1. Break up advice!

    CharlieTheDog [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 8
    • Joined: 25 Dec 2012

    Hello everyone. I need a litte bit of advice.

    I have (finally) come to the decision that I need to break up with my long-term boyfriend. After 5ish years, my heart just isn't in the relationship anymore. I love him, but not as a partner. It's not fair to him, or me, and deep down I know that breaking up is what's right for both of us in the long run.

    Now the hard part. How do I do it?

    We've both been a bit distant latel but I know that he won't be expecting a breakup. He's still in the relationship, but I'm not. I've never broken up with someone before (not since I was like, 13) and I don't know what to do!

    My plan was to just sit him down when we are alone in the house (I've kind of half moved in with him and his housemates), and just say it how it is.. "you're not going to like this, but we have to talk. I don't feel the same way about you as I did a few months ago". Obviously I won't be that blunt, but I'm not going to pussy-foot around it.

    How would you break up with a partner of so many years, or have you been broken up with recently? How did your partner do it, how did you feel? If it was a bad breakup, how do you wish they/you had done it?

    Thanks guys :) x

    XxGTxX [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 11
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2013

    I was in exactly the same situation as you, three and half year relationship and like you my heart wasn't in it anymore and i just didn't feel the same as i did in the begining. He was my first 'proper' boyfriend and the only person I have ever been with, you definatley need to stick to your decision if deep down your not happy cause it isn't fair on either of you, you just need to be honest.

    I sat down with my partner, told him how i felt, told him it was over and i felt like the biggest bitch ever, you will feel so guilty after you have finally done it and you will probably question if you made the right choice, but stick to your decision, I felt awful at the upset i had caused but the more time I spent away the more I knew I had made the right choice and I feel so much happier in myself now.

    It is upsetting for you both even though your the one that's ending the relationship, just remember how you feel deep down and be honest :)

    Hope things go well for you! x

    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2736
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    I broke up with ex in Dec & I gave him a heads up via txt then did it face to face . We were together for 9yrs I was unhappy and I feel out of love with him , it was hard but it was the right thing to do for me and thats what matter.

    Janny [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 584
    • Joined: 17 May 2011

    Mmm not going to lie, this is always difficult. Some very sound advice from the ladies above, don't leave it to die, be honest and tell him. It will hurt both of you, but possibly he has clocked already that all is not fine?? Living together is another problem (have you got anywhere to go?)

    Not sure how old you are but if you have been with him for 5 years I assume mid 20s, so grown up enough. Just make sure you are sure (if that makes sense) because if you break it up, and then change your mind a few months later, he might have moved on.

    It's difficult. Good luck. Let us know how it goes x

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