1. Anal worries

    blackmaria4790 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 21 Jan 2013

    Ok I know the title is ridiculous but I have some worries concerning anal. I have never done it and i want to with my current boyfriend.. The problem is I still haven't found the way to enjoy it although i am perfectly calm and cool and feel great with him.. He fingers me sometimes but still, i feel weird and stop.. Any thoughts comments and tips on how to get me feeling more relaxed?

    (my gyno said i should probably drink some scotch before anal.. he's so awesome!)

    fistinglover69 [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 25 Aug 2011

    Male gynecologists giving anal sex advice? Hahaha, id run for the hills!
    He is right though, alcohol helps very much and so does really being turned on

    Horny Glass Lover [sign in to see picture]
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    lol FL... Yeah plenty (tons) of lube... there are some great beginners butt plugs (small, smooth and flexible) you could try first... they are less noticable than fingers etc... and allow your muscles to get used to.

    blackmaria4790 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
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    • Joined: 21 Jan 2013

    thanks to everyone for the lovely and (very) helpful advice! i bought a lubricant and there's going to be some naughty action soon! well truth is alcohol really helps me relax and be more open to trying new things.. however my partner is always extra protective and careful (i guess his experience and his belief that the best way to arouse a woman is byu going back to basics, are vital!) so i think it is going to be pleasurable. i will inform you soon!

    Postillionager [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Hi. Yes, anal can feel wierd to begin with. The anus is used to pushing things out rather than allowing things in and for some people, it can take longer to get the sphyncter muscles used to that new sensation.

    But fear not, there are some things you can do to help the process along.

    Solo experimentation
    You can try experimenting just on your own by inserting a finger inside and getting yourself used to it. Go slowly, use lubricant and begin by just rubbing and stimulating around the outside of the anus before attempting to enter. Be sure to trim fingernails beforehand as scraping can be nasty.

    Use Lubricant
    Lube is essential for anal play. It reduces friction which can cause the muscles to tense up in response. It greatly reduces risk of tearing or damage and makes things glide along making for far easier entry.

    Easier said than done right? But relaxing the anal muscles is not easy to do on command as they tend to work and tense on their own. A swig of scotch may help, but having a nice bath beforehand will have better results. Make sure the room you are in is not too cold, as you are more likely to tense up when your feeling chilly. A massage may help, or just chilling out before hand.

    Ease in to it
    Don't try to dive straight in. Take your time. Work together to get you aroused, and then use your fingers to lightly rub or massage the area around the anus. A nice spot is the smooth bit of flesh between the anus and the vagina and can really help to relax the sphyncter muscles. Again, don't forget the lube! It really does help!

    Desensatizing Lubes
    These are available on the market, but I strongly advise against them. Many contain some form of topical anesthesia, such as lidocaine or benzocaine to create a numbing effect. The big problem I have with these is that pain signals are there for a reason, in if you feel discomfort or pain during anal, then you should slow down or stop entirely as the anal walls can easily be damaged, causing bleeding or worse. If the pain signals are numbed, then you may not be quite so aware and cause damage without realising. Pain signals need to be closely monitered during anal play especially since there are not as many nerve endings inside the anus. So I advise against desensatizing or 'easing' lubricants, gels, sprays or creams.

    HOWEVER some people have extra difficulty with the sphyncter muscle contracting and tensing causing entry to be very difficult. If other things I've mentioned above don't work then you may want to try something designed to relax the muscle and ease entry. But avoid products that contain anesthetics. Lovehoney list the ingredients of all their lubes and gels, etc on their product pages.

    I would recommend the Pjur Anal Comfort Spray which is Lidocaine and Benzocaine free, and uses an ingredient which helps the skin around the anus become more elastic and supple, helping the muscle to relax.


    There is also this lubricant from Pjur which uses natural ingredients to provide a relaxing effect. It is silicone based lubricant though, so should not be used with silicone or 'realistic feel' sex toys, but are safe with condoms and latex. But silicone lubricant is much more slippy and care should be taken not to slip too far at once during penetration which can be a bit.. Er... Shocking! But again, this contains no anesthetic/numbing ingredients.


    Hope this helps you. Xx

    This is excellent advice, you can never have too much foreplay and this applies to anal as much as anything else. The anus needs to be aroused, and so do you. I would only add that some people find it helpful to use a vibe in working up to penetration. Take your time, it may take several weeks to gradually work your way up to full intercourse, but it's well worth it and hopefully you will enjoy the process.

    blackmaria4790 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 21 Jan 2013

    thanks guys! well the thing that really worries me is... you know.. number two (hahaha)

    i have read some articles and they all suggest i have an enema before sex but it scares me to death! i want to enjoy it without having to worry about... this!

    any suggestions, tips and "do not worry"s from any girl that it has done it already?

    blackmaria4790 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 14
    • Joined: 21 Jan 2013

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Hi again!

    An enema is a procedure that cleans out a large amount of the colon. It can be uncomfortable, and we, on the forums, tend not to recommend an enema unless using very long or large anal toys.

    But Douching is something recommended and great for anal play if you fear any 'mess'. Douching, unlike an enema, uses much less volume of water and only cleans out part of the colon, and is far easier, quicker, and more comfortable to use. Douching is very simple, just squirt the water inside your bum and hold it for a few seconds, then sit on the toilet and let your body do the natural thing of releasing the water and anything that comes with it. Do this a few times and you'll be good to go. I'd say to do this between one-two hours before hand.

    Lh sell douches on the site:


    There are also loads of topics on douching on these forums if you want a bit of light reading to flick through..


    Any mess should really be minimal though. And it is always good practice to have your partner wear a condom. Be aware that after achieving anal sex that your anus may be stretched slightly, feeling a bit 'open'. Don't worry, this is normal, and it will go back to normal in a short time. But it may make going to the toilet feel strange as you won't have much need to push, and may feel a movement just slide on it's own. This is also nothing to worry about, and, unless you are feeling unwell, you shouldn't have any need to fear not making it to the toilet or anything like that. :-)

    hope this helps you. Xx

    oooh thanks a lot about all those tips! xx

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