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  1. tempted to cheat

    rubysoho [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 6 Mar 2013

    i dont understand if im honest . if im in a relationship im 100% into that person . yeah sure i can look an think '' cute'' but tahts as far as it would EVER go . to be honest even if im just 'seeing' someone im monogamous ... i just cant DO it .

    honestly if i have in the past ever started to feel something for anyone else , ive known the relationship im in is over

    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    I'm with the other people who say "don't tell your OH".

    I think you have to question your feelings and your relationship. Are you happy? Are you satisfied? Is there anything you can do to increase the satisfaction in your relationship? Have things gone a bit stale in the bedroom?

    Fantasising about other people is normal. It's best not admitted to your partner as he'll probably be upset.. but chances are he does it too!

    I think there's a difference between fantasising about a handsome stranger who does all the things that you like in bed and fantasising about someone you know...

    I have cheated in the past. I was unhappy and trapped and in a long distance relationship. I didn't say anything and I'm glad I didn't. I'd like to think I have more control over myself now and I'm so much happier in this relationship.

    Maybe talk to your OH about your fantasies, things you'd like to experiment with in the bedroom, get the spark back... much better than saying "I keep fantasising about other people" :) x

    uxo [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
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    • Joined: 3 Feb 2010

    jaycloth wrote:

    Let's get real.

    In the real world, "talking to your OH" will destroy the trust just as much as being found out actually doing it would.

    Seriously? Go to your partner and say "I crave another man's touch and seriously think about having sex with someone else - help! I thought I should let you know" You might as well pack his bags or your own.

    Do it or preferably don't do it - but keep your mouth shut if you value your relationship.

    Agreed. You should always be honest with one another but, unless you've accepted that you're serious about trying it with someone else and prepared for the real possibility of your relationship being over as soon as you finish what you need to say, I'd keep quiet.

    There's nothing wrong with the fantasy of wanting to shag someone else. If you're serious though, weigh up whether the lust is worth destroying your relationship, whether for future happiness or something that may not be worth it. All the best to you.

    spiceitup [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 27 Oct 2010

    If you yearn for someone else's touch and its more than a fantasy you should split. I would suggest refraining from any contact from your other half if you are serious, and then it may be there touch you crave again.

    And You should really give some thought to the lasting effect this could and probably will leave of your partner, cheating is the lowest of the low and had having this done to me early in life it has left me with a very suspicious mind .The simplest thing can make me accuse the wife of cheating. At the time it all seem founded, once i have accused her i later think what a prick i am and however did i think it.i wonder how she puts up with me to be honest.

    spiceitup [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 69
    • Joined: 27 Oct 2010

    I would also add to try out some role play, and remember its exactly that and nothing more. Not done much role play but once the wife pretended to be a prostitute on a spur or the moment,I just couldn't get me head into and keep thinking to myself "if I'm too enthusiastic she might think I want to go with a real one"

    swingcouple [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 161
    • Joined: 29 Jan 2008

    Sex with just one person isn't natural. Everybody needs sexual variety, so why not try swinging? It's a lot healthier (mentally, that is) than having affairs and one-night-stands, with all the accompanying deceit and shame. Certainly works for us!

    Fiery_WA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 19
    • Joined: 4 Apr 2015

    Judge not lest ye be judged.

    Each person has their own reasons for "cheating"

    I am going to be brutally honest, I was married for 15 years, left because of physical abuse, entered into a defacto relationship, which I am still in.

    For the past 15 years my OH has never once seen to my needs (I'm talking about the big O), I need direct clitorial stimulation, he doesn't like going down, I know there are other ways he could have seen to my needs, but he never took and interest, as long as he got his rocks off he was happy, and to a degree while disappointed in his lack of interest in my needs, I was happy enough at least to be getting something.

    Then 3 years ago we were going at it and all of a sudden he just hopped off. It took him awhile to admit he had lost his libido, and has no desire to get it back, not even to see to my needs (why would he, he hasn't for the past 15 years.) Andropause (male menopause).

    "Cheating" never crossed my mind, I wasn't raised that way. So 3 years ago toy usuage started, I have always been a very private person, so when I first started with the toy's I would lock the bedroom door, then I thought maybe if he see's me playing it might interest him, so I left the bedroom door ajar, he has come in several times. looked at what I was doing, done an about face, and closed the door on the way out.

    After 3 years of toy usuage only, I was missing out on the intimacy of being naked and wanted as a sexual being. So I did something I never thought I would do, and look for a Lover.

    I am now 50, and I am happy to say I have found myself a 43 yo Lover, we are exclusive to each other. (I am not a bed hopper nor do I want to become one), my lover is married, so we have a NSA (No Strings Attached) affair that is ongoing.

    My lover has made me feel like a woman again, he thinks me as sexy, and tells me I am. a term neither my Ex Husband or Defacto have ever told me. He is smoking hot, and I still have my now 25yo baby belly plus extra weight,

    Neither of us are out to hurt our respective partners, but being honest, where I thought I would feel guilt, I now feel extreme pleasure in our discreet rendezvous.

    I am once again feeling like a desirable wanted woman.

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