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  1. Sub/dom

    Victoria84 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 22
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2012

    I want to be a submissive. But my husband isn't that keen. How can I get him
    Interested. Vanilla sex isn't doing it for me anymore, I want to explore new things, new feelings. But I can't see him letting me call him Sir or anything. I want this so badly

    mibbles [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 151
    • Joined: 4 Feb 2008

    talk to him and explain what and why you feel that way and see what he says

    WildThing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1332
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2012

    Buy a small bed restraint bondage kit or some simple handcuffs to start things off! :)

    mibbles [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 151
    • Joined: 4 Feb 2008

    good idea many starter packs on here and see how that goes

    WildThing [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1332
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2012


    This is a really good, simple to use kit that can be adapted to most beds with "Tie-around-something" corners.....

    Enjoy, :)

    scarab9 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 207
    • Joined: 1 May 2012

    Take it slow. Trends like that come with a stereotype attached. Rather than saying "I want you to dominate me" ask him to tie your hands. If he likes itgo for somethinga bit more. Also you may have to swap rolls sometimes initially. It may give him confidence in what he then DOS to you

    mrsorgasmatron [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 190
    • Joined: 20 Jan 2011

    I would advise you to try but do not get dissapppointed if nothing happens to start with. It took nearly a year for me to get the courage and dominate a man, so I suppose the same can happen when someone wants to be a sub.

    KinkyFuckery [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2736
    • Joined: 10 Jul 2012

    Commincation is the key x

    Georgina71 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 124
    • Joined: 11 Nov 2012

    I agree that communication is the most important thing. I had similar urges; I posted about this, see http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/sex-tips-and-talk/608581-how-to-ask-him-to-dominate-me/ .

    In my case, it was enough to ask. He says that dominating me turns him on because it arouses me, but I find his enthusiasm to be a little suspicious . But in any case it is working for us, we are having a great time.

    So ask, and discuss your needs. Of course, there is the possibility that being dominant is impossible for him, or that it turns him off, and then there is little you can do about that. But you will not know until you have tried for a while.

    Why don't you start by suggesting something simple, like some mild spanking, or some bondage (I suggest the Tease Me Beginners Set, I have it and it's quite nice). You have to adapt your needs to each other, see whether you can find something that you both enjoy. Go slowly, explore, talk; after a while, you may be surprised at how much he will relish your bedroom activities.

    Miss-Nomer [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 150
    • Joined: 28 Mar 2007

    Talk to him. Make sure he knows that you want to try new things together for fun, not because you're bored of him. Explain why you'd like to try this, ask him why he has reservations; it's possible he's had negative experiences with it in the past, or just has some misconceptions about what it entails. If you both understand each other better then it'll be easier to nip any problems in the bud.
    Also, what is he into in vanilla play? Try incorporating that into some D/s play to make it more appealing. For example, if he enjoys receiving oral, then encourage him to be a bit more forceful about it, maybe tie your hands behind your back and say you can't get free until he's came. Also small things like him holding your wrists together above your head whilst having sex are usually safe enough seeming for even the most vanilla of Tops.

    LOVE [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 196
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2009

    was 5 years into our relatinship before we got into dom

    we both try it taking dom/sub role whenever we fancy it,but you need to dicuss your ways and how far you wish to go befor indulging in the role play

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