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  1. Sexless life

    Thingamee [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 23 Sep 2010

    I have now been separated for 18 months and I'm losing the will to live. Sex didn't exist in the last 4 years of ny marriage after I caught her playing around. I have had a relationship in the past 18 months but as we live so far apart it's not easy. It's on its last legs anyway and won't survive a trip away out of the country I shortly have to make.

    I have joined various sites of various types, friends, dating, swingers etc but with no luck. It seems sex for men over 50 doesn't exist. I don't think I'm in bad shape, have some hair left, and some teeth, but with a high sex drive and getting laid once every three months I feel that may have been my life. Anyone want to save me? Female please. I'm 100% straight. Or is that my problem?

    Jimi Duro [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 521
    • Joined: 5 Apr 2012

    I am in this club too...

    Thingamee [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 23 Sep 2010

    Hmmmm, well it was a rhetorical question about saving me. Save me from going lemming and jumping off a cliff. Yes and some die the first time they have sex, like bees. But I'd rather not die yet.

    Thingamee [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 23 Sep 2010

    And it was written in a moment of anger and despair, a bad day for me. As Churchill would have said my Black Dog was visiting, look it up if you don't know what it means. P

    Ms HKM [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 317
    • Joined: 25 May 2011

    Get out and meet people. Easier said than done I hear you mutter.

    join a local class, running club, gym, salsa class, whatever. Get confidence in yourself. You'll meet people into the same things as you and probably doing them for the same reasons!

    ZombieCpl [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 264
    • Joined: 19 Nov 2010

    Thingamee, please dont think all of us are so quick to dimiss your problems, everyone goes through a dry patch at some point in their life. Keep going with all the sites, try to get out and socialise, got to pubs, clubs, maybe even voluntary work :)

    Fluffbags [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2018
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2011

    I agree with Ork. I do not think it is the fact you are over 50 that is the problem. It probably has something to do with the way you are coming across. I mean, reading back your post:

    You have been seperated for 18 months, but you have been in a relationship for 18 months, but its long distance so it is hard (I was in a long distance relationship for 3 years before we moved in together, yeh its hard but its a choice you make, you dont HAVE to date long distance) However it seems that even though you are actually with someone, you clearly state you have advertised on many different sites, and you dont seem to have any requirements other than "female" (Which screams to me that you are not choosy. That you are desperately searching anywhere for any bit of sex that comes your way) and that you are willing to cheat so easily on your current lady

    And your advert here clearly states you are still in the long distance relationship, but you want a female anyway to come and save you from going mad through lack of sex?

    I think this is your problem :D It isnt attractive to 99% of females (Over 50 or not) We dont want to be treated as a piece of meat. We dont want to be a desperation shag. (Or even a shag at all, a lot of us want love, connection, romance, togetherness, trust, love, friendship, need I go on?) and we dont want to just be a hole someone can masturbate into. A lot of us have heard this line soooo many times.... "I am with someone but its hard, she doesnt give me enough sex, she doesnt give me enough blah blah" and sorry but in my opinion, if you aint happy ....LEAVE, and move on to the next relationship right. Dont cheat lie and sleaze your way into someones pants just because you are horny for fresh meat but want to keep your regular standard meat at home waiting just in case the fresh meat doesnt want to know! It makes women think you just dont really care at all about your needs or feelings as long as you get what you want. So I refer you back to why this is not attractive.

    I dunno this is all my opinion of course. Some women are up for no strings sex. But they are harder to find I think, because there are fewer. so yeh, you will struggle and it will take a bit of time to find a fuck buddy, especially a local fuck buddy. Please also note that I do not know you. I am just saying that this is the way you are coming across in your post, and it is probably the reason why some people take offence. Sex wont save you from depression or loneliness. Maybe a loving relationship but casual sex is just a cheap buzz that will probably make you feel worse later

    Thingamee [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 25
    • Joined: 23 Sep 2010

    Thank you all for your comments and suggestions, I apologise if I upset anyone, As I said before it was a bad day but that's not really any excuse. I'm taking on board what you have all kindly said and sorting my head out for my trip abroad so I don't ruin it and so I may return in a better frame of mind, once again, thank you for listening. P

    HappilyExperimenting [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1635
    • Joined: 14 Feb 2012

    MrBumcheeks wrote:

    I don't have sex any more, and I'm a lot happier for it.

    I've never had sex and don't yet feel I'm missing anything, I'm perfectly happy with my toys. Saying that, intimacy with others is something I've always craved. But I've never really felt ready to lose my v-card just yet.

    I'll have to find out what a sex life is one day though lol

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