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  1. Sexless marriage

    mr_L [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 20
    • Joined: 6 Feb 2015

    We're in a similar situation, we are manage it about once a month, (while I masturbate daily)

    I confess I have fantasized about meeting a prostitute, but I just KNOW it can ONLY be a disapointment

    I remember this phrase when its been a while and I do as much as I can to make her feel loved.

    "a man needs to have sex to feel loved,

    a woman needs to feel loved to have sex"

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    So long since I posted this thread
    To update things are just the same, for all the talking and promises
    Like most people in this place ( especially for a lot of years) decide to stop trying and accept people will not or can not change
    Don't know what else to say

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    Well said mr_L

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    Just to add I didn't go down the sex trade root
    And would never it just popped into my head at the time
    The OH don't deserve that
    We are in our late 50s this might be just the way things have gone for us

    kittencub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2071
    • Joined: 11 May 2013

    Re assuring I'm not on my own surprise Ill health on hubby's side we're now sexless but I'm lucky I still have cuddles I have toys we had words last year he was jealous over my crushes I replied I'm sick of being a housekeeper. We've had it twice since then but things are better now because he shows he appreciates me, last year I did wish for a Capaldi look alike to shag the arse off, but that was just me being angry also was thinking I can do without you, luckily he seemed to realise I needed appriating so is more loving in words and comments. He jokes now about my crushes, knowing he can't do anything but I'd never cheat. An imagination and fantasies keep me going.hugs to everyone in this situatio.

    Taylor77 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 140
    • Joined: 18 Aug 2010

    If things are really bad, go on a marriage course, or look at each others love languages and just talk to each other. If you have not engaged verbally with each other recently, be prepared to hear some harsh and yet most likey real critisicm and home truths. Don't get defensive though, don't interupt, just listen and then repeat back what you think your partners worries and feelings are.

    the mechanic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 113
    • Joined: 28 May 2014

    i too am resigned to a life with no more sex , its been nearly 7 years now and i have resorted to toys but have to do it in secret as i would be called disgusting if found out . I think its sad there are so many nice people who have to go without something that is a normal part of a relationship

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    Hi one and all
    Just a quick update, 5yrs on things are pretty much the same, 2017 not hit double figures in anything involving sex ether bj's, hand jobs, full on sex, OH still gets hers without any complaints...
    So i think 2018 will be all about me, will
    Bring my toy box up todate and find time for me.
    Also think more porn will be on the aggenda... lifes to short...

    LadySpider [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1476
    • Joined: 12 Oct 2017

    Hey Cap54

    I feel for you, my lovely, I really do. I went off sex totally for almost 10 years (menopause and recovery from a brain injury) I honestly had no sex drive at all. We did it maybe once every 3 months...at that was usually when he came up to bed whilst I was sleeping and would start fingering me whilst I slept...looking back I can now see that was the only time I felt relaxed, so him touching me was pleasurable, whereas if I was awake I was tense and worried, so didn't get turned on.

    Then all of a sudden, about 6 months ago, I felt really really horny...and that feeling is with me almost 100% of the time now. I honestly just can't get enough...and he's now 10 years older, so can't keep up with me lol - he calls me a sex pest and often gets really annoyed with me! Talk about role reversal eh?

    I think also he got so used to masterbation, where he had no one to please but himself, that now he's finding 'real sex' difficult - having to do more than just lie there and please himself often seems (to me anyway) too much effort for him....plus the porn nearly always (even the real home-made stuff) contains women with nice bodys'...and do all the right moans and groans and behave up to the camera ect ect....and we all know real life sex just isn't like that themajority of the time. I'm very over-weight too...and poor mobility... so sex with me just isn't hitting the right buttons for him much of the time either - he won't admit that - but we can all mostly tell if we're really turning our partners on or if they're just 'doing their duty' eh?

    I wonder, if everyone is 100% honest and not trying to impress.... how many relationships, after the 'honeymoon period' are actually really sexually compatible? x

    Michael777 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 270
    • Joined: 1 Oct 2017

    There are probably very few relationships where both partners are one hundred percent sexually compatible. The problem comes when one partner wants way less than the other. If one partner really needs more sex, is there anything really wrong with looking elsewhere? We only live once after all!

    Cap54 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2009

    I am also at a place in my life (just gone 60).. where i come into contact with men my age who are in hospital with debilatating mental illnesses. Its sad to see.. and i am thinking there but for the grace of god go i.
    Therefor i want to make the most of the sex drive i still have before that go's tits up (forgive the pun).. or am i just being selfish...

    Dickiebird [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 210
    • Joined: 29 Oct 2017

    Hi Cap54, this is a very difficult situation for you. I myself have a very limited sex life, I do feel that I am missing out on something also.
    Many years ago, cannot really remember when my wife felt sex uncomfortable due to hip problems. I have had sex once in the last year.
    I have read the post by LadySpider, she is a regular poster on the forum, her posts are always very sensible and sincere. I expect it depends on how much you love your OH.
    I love my OH so much that I put up with a sexless marriage. If you don’t feel the same with your OH, maybe time to have an honest conversation with her.

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