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  1. Right we need a lesbian (weird i know)

    1252619915
    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Comet? I've not long started using small toys Kitty! Gimme a few more months. . . . .

    Ouch!

    SG69 x

    1252657361
    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    hehehehe.

    well the too rude bit lets see. too rude for moderators on any boards Ive ever known?! But Im glad its different here at LH then!

    how rude can we get? do we just keep going til one of them pulls out a flogger? then invite them to join in? then ask them about the shape of their.... oh hang on. dreaming again lol

    1252670065
    Elle-Scotland [sign in to see picture]
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    Star shaped pussy - awesome!

    Can't remember where the link to it came from but there was an art project in London and the theme was the many different shapes we take. Some artist had taken like a hundred women and taken plaster casts of their pussies and then put them all up on a wall in an art gallery.

    There's so many sex guides that start with the author telling the woman to take a mirror and get aquainted with herself, but then the only pussies that a (non-lesbian) woman are ever liable to see are her own and those on porn. This project really brought home to me how many shapes we can be!

    However, I don't think any of them were star-shaped.

    Would be interesting to try. I mean, you get ribbed and veined and all the rest of it. You could make it star-shaped and call it the Comet. XD

    1252724953
    lil-mumma-lola [sign in to see picture]
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    i dont think a women can be a "fake" gay if a women is happy makin love to another women (toys or not) thats makes her a "real" gay but if she craves cock then shes a fake, a sex toy is a made product but cock is flesh so i think

    women+women+toys(or not)= gay

    women+wanting flesh inside her= straight or bi

    1252749914
    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    lil-mumma-lola wrote:

    i dont think a women can be a "fake" gay [...] but if she craves cock then shes a fake, a sex toy is a made product but cock is flesh so i think

    women+women+toys(or not)= gay

    women+wanting flesh inside her= straight or bi

    You don't think a woman can be a "fake gay", except if she craves cock? And by the way, tongues and fingers are also flesh. So if a woman wants those inside her, does that make her a "fake gay"? I'm very interested to know how you are able to define everybody's sexuality for them without asking them.

    I dispute the existence of "fake gay"ness. If a person isn't homosexual, then they are something else. Does being bisexual make me a "fake straight"? I say no, it does not.

    In my experience, people who define other people for them without asking, and who talk about "fake" this and "true" or "real" that tend to be fans of what I call the "One True Way" philosophy.

    http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/2008/05/20/one-true-way/

    1252750407
    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    I do not think the three categories of sexuality [straight, gay, bi] really capture what has to be a very individual taste and choice.

    Just like everyone has individual blood yet we try to place them into a set number of groups. Humanity feels comforted when we can pigeon hole people. It makes us feel at ease to categorise and organise life and existence, rationalise it into logical boxes, when of course people act as they will, sleep with who they will, have separate and different dreams, desires, cravings.

    some days I dont want to ever sleep with another man, some days I really want my mans cock. Im not fake this or real that, Im just me.

    One can try and push a structured logical description on to this subject but I personally feel that we should live and let live. bi curious or changing from straight to gay can just come down to a simple exploration of sexuality for that person, and having fun doing so. and damn right they should, its bloody great fun! lol

    kisses xxx Cara X

    1252753510
    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Mistress Cara wrote:

    I do not think the three categories of sexuality [straight, gay, bi] really capture what has to be a very individual taste and choice. [...] some days I dont want to ever sleep with another man, some days I really want my mans cock. Im not fake this or real that, Im just me.

    Hear here. :)

    1252758097
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Mistress Cara wrote:

    I do not think the three categories of sexuality [straight, gay, bi] really capture what has to be a very individual taste and choice.

    Just like everyone has individual blood yet we try to place them into a set number of groups. Humanity feels comforted when we can pigeon hole people. It makes us feel at ease to categorise and organise life and existence, rationalise it into logical boxes, when of course people act as they will, sleep with who they will, have separate and different dreams, desires, cravings.

    some days I dont want to ever sleep with another man, some days I really want my mans cock. Im not fake this or real that, Im just me.

    One can try and push a structured logical description on to this subject but I personally feel that we should live and let live. bi curious or changing from straight to gay can just come down to a simple exploration of sexuality for that person, and having fun doing so. and damn right they should, its bloody great fun! lol

    kisses xxx Cara X

    I agree too! We organise everything, words, plants, liquids etc... but I don't really see a problem aslong as we have an 'escape clause'.

    I think thats why a 'other' box is pretty useful! When i get surveys that ask am I:

    Married/single/divorced I get slightly confused because I live with my partner!

    Think you summed up many peoples thoughts in your post.

    1252762000
    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    cool glad I said something useful!

    yes I am a cohabitee too lol society has such odd ideas of what we all 'should' be. :)

    1252768843
    lil-mumma-lola [sign in to see picture]
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    ok u have change my mind i am sorry if i insulted anyone,

    1252774774
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    lil-mumma-lola wrote:

    ok u have change my mind i am sorry if i insulted anyone,

    I wasn't offended. I just found your wording a little unclear.

    I wasn't sure if you were making references to social pressure and women's sexuality. Women are often expected to be a little bit more flexible and sometimes for the tittilation of men.

    If that is what you mean by 'fake gay' then I do think your point had some validity. Many women are described as 'bi' because their boyfriends or partners like it.

    But as you probably noticed on these forums most people here do not believe in strict gender roles and identities.

    Don't worry about upsetting people, we all find it hard to express ourselves at some point.

    1276099165
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow, this has been one of the most infuriating, insulting, funny, interesting and reassuring threads ive ever read! What a rollercoaster of misunderstandings and passion etc! I think the people who started this thread are pretty ignorant but i'm glad they attacked this subject just to read everyones responses.

    This is a question that is put to me quite often being a lesbian myself. I think some of these wierd ideas stem from the old notion that the man is 'the fuckER' and the woman is 'the fuckEE'. The man penetrates and the woman (the passive vessel) is 'done'. Lesbianism rejects these traditional roles. It used to be Illegal for gay men in britain to penetrate each other but ok for women to do 'sexual acts'because lesbians were not seen as a threat as it wasn't possible for them to have 'sex'. Of course many people are now aware that this is not the case but can start many arguments as to what 'sex' is.

    It's actually more easy to understand when you sit and think about your own sex life.

    For straight woman...why do you like cocks? Is it cocks you like in general or just the one of your partner? What do you like about penetrative sex? Is it that you are making love to the person you want sexually and physically or is it the internal pleasure you get? Now, what would happen if your partner had an accident and lost his cock? If he couldn't use it and had to use his fingers would that make him a woman or less of a man? Because essentially we are saying here that penis = man. so would you now be a lesbian? My answer would be no that wouldn't make you a lesbian.

    For straight guys...your P-spot is up your anus. A girls equivalent is inside her vagina. Both feel great when stimulated. Something has to enter your anus or vagina to reach these orgasmic places. You might like your girlfriend to put her finger into your anus to find this spot. Or sometimes it might be more pleasurable for you to use something like a phallus...whoops, i should say a dildo or butt plug. Hmm, now this is the same for women. Especially to reach all those deep orgasms we keep hearing about...oooh the pleasure! But, does that make you gay? Using a man-made utensil to gain deeper penetration to those amazing places? There are still many men who don't like to talk about recieveing anal sex, but i often hear conversations with men saying 'yeah i bummed her' and the like. Seems again like some narrow minded people despise the idea of a man being done but when its the man doing the penetrating it's ok? I don't think if a man uses dildo's for anal penetration it has to mean he is gay.

    I am a lesbian. This means i am very attracted to women physically and mentally. When there is a woman i fancy or fall in love with I am very attracted to female bodies. I love their curves, their breasts, their soft skin and the overall demeanor of women. Whether they are wild sexy diva's or pretty elfin sweethearts there is still a totally different feeling to being with a man. I get turned on by touching a womans body, with men i never did, i just did what i thought i had to and hoped it would be over soon. when a woman touches me i feel electricity, with a man i didn't. I love the feeling of penetrating my woman with fingers and for her to do that to me. I also love the feeling of her penetrating me deeper with a sex toy, that because of its shape is associated with a 'phallis'. Believe me, when we are making love and using a dildo, the last thing i am thinking about is men! I am looking into her eyes, we are holding each other and touching each other (because thats the good thing about a strap on, it leaves your hands free to embrace and get higher up the body so your heads can be closer and you can massage and explore other areas). I enjoy the pleasure shes giving me by being in control of the sex toy, i do not get the pleasure from thinking or wishing it has anything to do with men, or anything other than an extention of her. Shes delivering the pleasure, not the toy.

    Maybe the people who started this off heve spent too many hours watching pretend lesbian porn performed by straight wonan and made for men? A lot more goes on in a lesbians bedroom than fucking with dildo's, spitting on each other and making pretend sex noises! Just so you know...that's not real!

    x MC x

    1276104516
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Have to agree MC - the fact of the matter is - pussies are "designed" to be filled with cocks (their purpose is to make babies, it is our complexness which makes us have sex for pleasure and that's where "design" doesn't make a difference) so things shaped like cocks will feel pleasurable whether or not a person is physically or emotionally attracted to men or not. I've no doubt that a person who isn't attracted to men will find it very easy to see a disembodied "cock" shaped toy as nothing at all masculine.

    I also would imagine there are some women who don't find men attractive but may find cocks attractive in certain ways - maybe the "realistic" dildos have a gentler "ribbing" feel than some of the ribbed non realistic dildos - I'm just guessing, I'd be interested to know if this is the case for some women though?

    As you say - a cock doesn't make a man, just as a pussy doesn't make a woman, it's much deeper than that and I'm sure whilst a gay woman will find pussies attractive, it isn't the attractiveness of the pussy that makes the woman gay, it is the emotional feelings they feel for other women as people and other factors of their appearance as well including physical sensations and perhaps prefering the "softness" of women.

    It's all complex and everyone is different - the discussion further above is interesting too - labels are pointless, we are all different!

    Ax

    1276298646
    Laurakins [sign in to see picture]
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    Am i the only one offended slightly by this question? :s

    Both me and my partner use a strap on, however it doesn't make us any less sure of our sexuality. We both love women (well each other, if we are being specific) and their bodies. Using a strap on just adds another dimension to our sex life. We actually like the intimacy that it can give you (looking in each others eyes, being close together etc) but that certainly doesn't mean i would prefer to be having sex with a man. If anything a strap on brings us both closer together as a couple. It is not a secret code for ' i secretly like penis'. There is no chance in hell i would sleep with a man or even engage in any sexual activies with a man. Alot of dildo's and vibrators are ergonomically (sp?) designed. I don't think there is such thing as a 'fake' lesbian. That would be bisexual if you liked both men and women, not because you use a strap on.


    LK xx

    1276298831
    Laurakins [sign in to see picture]
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    merry cherry wrote:

    Wow, this has been one of the most infuriating, insulting, funny, interesting and reassuring threads ive ever read! What a rollercoaster of misunderstandings and passion etc! I think the people who started this thread are pretty ignorant but i'm glad they attacked this subject just to read everyones responses.

    This is a question that is put to me quite often being a lesbian myself. I think some of these wierd ideas stem from the old notion that the man is 'the fuckER' and the woman is 'the fuckEE'. The man penetrates and the woman (the passive vessel) is 'done'. Lesbianism rejects these traditional roles. It used to be Illegal for gay men in britain to penetrate each other but ok for women to do 'sexual acts'because lesbians were not seen as a threat as it wasn't possible for them to have 'sex'. Of course many people are now aware that this is not the case but can start many arguments as to what 'sex' is.

    It's actually more easy to understand when you sit and think about your own sex life.

    For straight woman...why do you like cocks? Is it cocks you like in general or just the one of your partner? What do you like about penetrative sex? Is it that you are making love to the person you want sexually and physically or is it the internal pleasure you get? Now, what would happen if your partner had an accident and lost his cock? If he couldn't use it and had to use his fingers would that make him a woman or less of a man? Because essentially we are saying here that penis = man. so would you now be a lesbian? My answer would be no that wouldn't make you a lesbian.

    For straight guys...your P-spot is up your anus. A girls equivalent is inside her vagina. Both feel great when stimulated. Something has to enter your anus or vagina to reach these orgasmic places. You might like your girlfriend to put her finger into your anus to find this spot. Or sometimes it might be more pleasurable for you to use something like a phallus...whoops, i should say a dildo or butt plug. Hmm, now this is the same for women. Especially to reach all those deep orgasms we keep hearing about...oooh the pleasure! But, does that make you gay? Using a man-made utensil to gain deeper penetration to those amazing places? There are still many men who don't like to talk about recieveing anal sex, but i often hear conversations with men saying 'yeah i bummed her' and the like. Seems again like some narrow minded people despise the idea of a man being done but when its the man doing the penetrating it's ok? I don't think if a man uses dildo's for anal penetration it has to mean he is gay.

    I am a lesbian. This means i am very attracted to women physically and mentally. When there is a woman i fancy or fall in love with I am very attracted to female bodies. I love their curves, their breasts, their soft skin and the overall demeanor of women. Whether they are wild sexy diva's or pretty elfin sweethearts there is still a totally different feeling to being with a man. I get turned on by touching a womans body, with men i never did, i just did what i thought i had to and hoped it would be over soon. when a woman touches me i feel electricity, with a man i didn't. I love the feeling of penetrating my woman with fingers and for her to do that to me. I also love the feeling of her penetrating me deeper with a sex toy, that because of its shape is associated with a 'phallis'. Believe me, when we are making love and using a dildo, the last thing i am thinking about is men! I am looking into her eyes, we are holding each other and touching each other (because thats the good thing about a strap on, it leaves your hands free to embrace and get higher up the body so your heads can be closer and you can massage and explore other areas). I enjoy the pleasure shes giving me by being in control of the sex toy, i do not get the pleasure from thinking or wishing it has anything to do with men, or anything other than an extention of her. Shes delivering the pleasure, not the toy.

    Maybe the people who started this off heve spent too many hours watching pretend lesbian porn performed by straight wonan and made for men? A lot more goes on in a lesbians bedroom than fucking with dildo's, spitting on each other and making pretend sex noises! Just so you know...that's not real!

    x MC x

    I could not agree more! For the first time on LoveHoney forums I actually disappointed at the standards of conversation (well more so from the people asking the question). Nice to know many people agree though :)


    LK xxx

    1276299304
    Laurakins [sign in to see picture]
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    Would be nice if everybody could just be with whoever they wanted without people making general assumptions of anybodies sexuality. Sorry to have put that part in about bisexuality in my previous post, but it was my best attempt at explaining my dildo/strap on situation! Sorry if it offended anyone, sometimes my brain doesn't function the way I would like it to.. lol

    LK xxx

    1276300011
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    merry cherry wrote:

    Wow, this has been one of the most infuriating, insulting, funny, interesting and reassuring threads ive ever read! What a rollercoaster of misunderstandings and passion etc! I think the people who started this thread are pretty ignorant but i'm glad they attacked this subject just to read everyones responses.

    This is a question that is put to me quite often being a lesbian myself. I think some of these wierd ideas stem from the old notion that the man is 'the fuckER' and the woman is 'the fuckEE'. The man penetrates and the woman (the passive vessel) is 'done'. Lesbianism rejects these traditional roles. It used to be Illegal for gay men in britain to penetrate each other but ok for women to do 'sexual acts'because lesbians were not seen as a threat as it wasn't possible for them to have 'sex'. Of course many people are now aware that this is not the case but can start many arguments as to what 'sex' is.

    It's actually more easy to understand when you sit and think about your own sex life.

    For straight woman...why do you like cocks? Is it cocks you like in general or just the one of your partner? What do you like about penetrative sex? Is it that you are making love to the person you want sexually and physically or is it the internal pleasure you get? Now, what would happen if your partner had an accident and lost his cock? If he couldn't use it and had to use his fingers would that make him a woman or less of a man? Because essentially we are saying here that penis = man. so would you now be a lesbian? My answer would be no that wouldn't make you a lesbian.

    For straight guys...your P-spot is up your anus. A girls equivalent is inside her vagina. Both feel great when stimulated. Something has to enter your anus or vagina to reach these orgasmic places. You might like your girlfriend to put her finger into your anus to find this spot. Or sometimes it might be more pleasurable for you to use something like a phallus...whoops, i should say a dildo or butt plug. Hmm, now this is the same for women. Especially to reach all those deep orgasms we keep hearing about...oooh the pleasure! But, does that make you gay? Using a man-made utensil to gain deeper penetration to those amazing places? There are still many men who don't like to talk about recieveing anal sex, but i often hear conversations with men saying 'yeah i bummed her' and the like. Seems again like some narrow minded people despise the idea of a man being done but when its the man doing the penetrating it's ok? I don't think if a man uses dildo's for anal penetration it has to mean he is gay.

    I am a lesbian. This means i am very attracted to women physically and mentally. When there is a woman i fancy or fall in love with I am very attracted to female bodies. I love their curves, their breasts, their soft skin and the overall demeanor of women. Whether they are wild sexy diva's or pretty elfin sweethearts there is still a totally different feeling to being with a man. I get turned on by touching a womans body, with men i never did, i just did what i thought i had to and hoped it would be over soon. when a woman touches me i feel electricity, with a man i didn't. I love the feeling of penetrating my woman with fingers and for her to do that to me. I also love the feeling of her penetrating me deeper with a sex toy, that because of its shape is associated with a 'phallis'. Believe me, when we are making love and using a dildo, the last thing i am thinking about is men! I am looking into her eyes, we are holding each other and touching each other (because thats the good thing about a strap on, it leaves your hands free to embrace and get higher up the body so your heads can be closer and you can massage and explore other areas). I enjoy the pleasure shes giving me by being in control of the sex toy, i do not get the pleasure from thinking or wishing it has anything to do with men, or anything other than an extention of her. Shes delivering the pleasure, not the toy.

    Maybe the people who started this off heve spent too many hours watching pretend lesbian porn performed by straight wonan and made for men? A lot more goes on in a lesbians bedroom than fucking with dildo's, spitting on each other and making pretend sex noises! Just so you know...that's not real!

    x MC x

    I want to quote this too because it's everything I wanted to add to this thread. Ditto the contribution from Lubyanka.

    1276300329
    RubberJin [sign in to see picture]
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    This is very similar to "men who like anal must be gay" - frankly it's bollocks.

    I love anal, but I also love boobies, and I don't find men attractive. My OH fucking me with a strapon cock, however, I do find sexy.

    Likewise, if women want to fuck each other with strapons, vegetables, pets, whatever it doesn't make them fake lesbians.

    1276301241
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    PS the question has a whiff of 'women must have an alternative reason for sex' about it. Aside from I have nerves and it feels amazing.

    I don't define my sexuality. I lack the inclination or the need. I do know that I like to f*ck beautiful people though and sex is a one2one (or two2one on a good night) experience so why use a generalized term for something that requires a unique individuals? Everyone's different, but personally, I get no power from a label.

    x

    1276302464
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Keri and dave wrote:

    i dont believe that it makes them a fake lesbian but i do believe that if they enjoy cock shaped sex toys or real cock then they can not be lesbian they have to be bi sexual as they like a bit of both.

    not once did the post say any thing about not being penetrated it was about being penetrated by any form of cock.

    so i still believe that if a self proclaimed lesbian enjoys cock or cock shaped things they must be bi sexual.

    if any one else has anything else to share on this topic please feel free as it is still not clear to us

    Keri & David

    xx

    I used to eat Billy Bear sandwich meat when I was ikkle... Doesn't mean I like to eat bears...

    I know this is an old thread but I find the lack of logic funny and the idiocy quite unnerving...

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