Anal play in relationships.

Do any other males out there find it hard to convince their partner to have a go at anal play? And I'm not just talking about straght forward anal sex, I mean getting her to use toys on you, too...Also, what do/would women think if their partner asked you to use anal toys on him?

hands up- ive been an anal frgid for years lol hubby been goin on about it for ages but it was always a no go for me..but i finally gave in this week and lost my bum virginity lol and i cant believe it took me so long! i had to admit it was suprisingly pleasurable lol! now im all over it, and want him to let me try stuff on him too but not hes the one saying no way..he thinks it would make him gay or something lol! anyway my advice would be to get her to let you do stuff to her 1st and maybe once she finds its not as bad as she thinks, she might suggest using toys on you too like what happened to me! the 1st time he got near my bum was during oral when i was mega wound up.. so maybe try that? x

Thanks for your advice! I've tried that once or twice but never get very far lol, but i'll have another go and see what happens! Your hubby needs to let go and let you try stuff on him, I guarantee that he'll find it extremely pleasurable! X

It's not something I would be dying to do to my partner, but if he wanted to I definitely would! I would have a bit of the squicks about bum stuff (even when receiving anal), but I'm sure I could get over it :)

just keep tying, my OH had to keep trying for months lol xx

I wouldn't mind trying it at least once... I'm game !

ive just convinced my other half of the joys of anal.... And we both enjoy using butt plugs... She not keen on using a strap on me... Which is one my fantasys!!!

Me and the other half argue about anal all the time. We do play once or a week during foreplay but I just can't go all the way. He puts an awful lot of pressure on me to and more often than not he just upsets me. Sometimes when i'm not in the mood for anal play he just won't give up no matter how much i tell him to stop it. So although I enjoy anal play, it's the bane of my life. Upsets me so much that the OH wont listen!

SexyBumBully wrote:

Me and the other half argue about anal all the time. We do play once or a week during foreplay but I just can't go all the way. He puts an awful lot of pressure on me to and more often than not he just upsets me. Sometimes when i'm not in the mood for anal play he just won't give up no matter how much i tell him to stop it. So although I enjoy anal play, it's the bane of my life. Upsets me so much that the OH wont listen!

As a guy who rather enjoys anal play (both ways) I would suggest that the next time he doesn't want to stop when you are not in the mood for it you should suggest that this will mean you will never be in the mood for it again as you will have negative associations. That should stop him!

I'm the one who convinced OH to enjoy anal!!! (and I'm the girlfriend!!!!)

When my GF has been drunk and horny, she has played with vibrators on me a few times. Something she wouldnt do sober. the other way round would be a no no. there has been a beginners butt plug in the bed side table draw, still in it's packaging...

Ahhh I wish it was him trying to convince me!! I've been trying to suggest using our new beads on him for ages to no avail, although he'll happily use them on me haha.

It's seems as if I'm not thee only one with this problem then! I will keep on asking every now and again, but I don't want to come across as too pushy and upset her about it. Thanks for all of your replies! Getting into this forum now, definitely going to be using it lots!

Good. Just remember not to pressure her. Next time you ask her, if she says no, why not try and ask her why? Not in a confrontation though as this may spark an argument. Just try an open and frank discussion about it?

I did talk to my OH last night about why he insists on doing it when he's not in the mood and felt shit when he told me the reason why. He said that when he does it, everytime without fail, I get closer to him. He just wants me to be closer!

My gf still doesn't want to try anal. But I'm a patient man.

There is a whole world of anal play to be explored, so there's no need to rush straight in at the deep end. The area around the anus is a powerful erogenous zone; we might feel shy about discussing it, but most people do actually experience pleasure and arousal being stroked and teased around that region (by the right person at the right time of course). If you are in a permanent relationship, as the thread title suggests, you should not be in a rush. Just try tentative forays when stroking or licking, hopefully this will be very enjoyable for both partners and you can wait and see what develops over time.

My other advice would be to always make sure you are both completely clean. One partner may be feeling deeply uncomfortable if there is any hint of lack of hygiene, so perhaps restrict this sort of activity to post bath/shower time.

My wiife has always rejected my anal advances, then only 2 weeks ago I struck lucky, she was reading Fifty Shades & mentioned that the girl in there had a vibrating butt plug, it clearly turned my wife on so I got her one. We've used it a couple of times now & she loves it & now wants to advance to full anal very soon - happy days!

FSOG has a lot to answer for; some woman seem to like the reassurance that 'everyone is reading/doing it'. God bless that book its like Harry Power for grown ups

Hi all, slight role reversal here,I'm game and enjoy him playing, but can I convince him to try it - nah it's a big OH NO,

I do have a question for the anally experienced thou as I have frightened him recently.. I have bought some glass dildos and like them from the freezer for a cold sensation but he is reluctant to use them on me anally while so cold as seems to think that it could be a fatal problem (somethign about ice cubes and gentlemen's anus' and sudden shock/death) is this just an urban myth I missed or is ther something init??

Cham x

The internet is awash with stories of ice being put up the bum, everyones at it. If it could kill I think we'd have heard about it by now.