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  1. Having sex vs making love

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    crayola [sign in to see picture]
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    Just wondering- do people still make the distinction between having sex and making love?

    I find myself making the distinction occassionally, but being either frustrated or amused by the fact because the only time me and bloke seem to make love its usually bookended by shagging and generally done by accident!

    I much prefer a good hard shag, but it'd be nice to make love at least once a year... lol

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    RuRu Rabbit [sign in to see picture]
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    This is a interesting idea actually

    Believe it or not I used to be incredibly old fashioned in my sexual views. Until i was 18, i did not believe in sex before marriage, and certainly would have never considered a good old fashioned railing above making love. When I lost my virginity, i was with who I believed to be the love of my life, and it was incredibly romantic. We continued to make love-not have sex, and the relationship slowly fizzled.

    Then When I was 20, i met a guy who i was instantly sexually attracted to. We dallied for a while, but eventually did the deed, and I have never looked back. I would like to say that i believe in making love, but atm I find it difficult to see sex as anything but a good time. I think when you are in a loving and committed relationship, then you can choose either or, but for the moment, for me, sex is just SEX

    xxx

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    mrsminx [sign in to see picture]
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    Hmm this one got me thinking

    Before i met my fella i had lots of 1 night stands (30+)and would always refer to it as just having sex, although in my life i woulsdsay i have made love with 2 guys, one who i was in a relationship with a year and now my husband, we've been together for over 10 years..there are times when we are together i just want fast and furious SEX and other times when i want to make lurrrrveee!!

    X

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    amore [sign in to see picture]
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    think i know what you mean....

    I don't always want long, passionate drawn out sex with my OH (as nice as it is) I sometimes just want a quick hard fuck!

    i change my mind all the time though, think it has something to do with my hormones or something!

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    OperationFilth [sign in to see picture]
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    See, i've had sex with 6 people (at different times, lol). I've made love to 1.

    However, at times the sex I have with that one person is hotter, dirtier & kinkier than any of the others - exactly as I like it! But we certainly do, on occasion, make love.

    It's probably interesting psychologically that he's the only person I've ever been able to maintain eye contact with during the deed!

    I'd say I was the opposite of RuRu... I worked from the basis that sex is for pleasure - be that in a ONS or in a relationship, and it can be with or without love... I still think that is true, but I also know that i have better sex with my OH & in a lot of ways I think that is because it has deeper meaning...

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    libby [sign in to see picture]
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    This is such an interesting question!

    I also think there is a difference between sex and making love, and that both can be present in a relationship. I wouldn't want to make love all the time and i wouldn't want to have sex all the time either!

    Your point on maintaining eye contact is interesting Living Fire, as my current partner is the only person i have ever been able to maintain eye contact with during the deed, and he is the only one i would say i have made love with. I also think you have a point about sex being better because it has a deeper meaning with that person.

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    juicylou [sign in to see picture]
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    oh yes especially being a swinger.....you have sex with as many people as you choose to.....sometimes all at once.....but u make love to your significant other. having sex means no emotional ties mostly.....making love means the emotions and whole being is brought into play.

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Must say l find the love component of our relationship represented more in the day to day grind ad sharing of our life experiences. Consequently l cannot really discern any significant mental shift between the two conditions described above.... sad maybe, but love/lust maybe often confuddled campers!!!

    TB

    Now rogering RuRu over the arm of her sofa would be a labour of love methinks!!!

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    RuRu Rabbit [sign in to see picture]
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    I actually agree with you TB...I find love in the little things, the things that occur every day between you and your partner....and as for the rogering...I guess you will just have to find out for urself...

    xxx

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    Morbidia [sign in to see picture]
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    When i was with my ex, anything physical we used to do, was kinda meh, yeah, it was ok, but it wasnt something major.

    But now i'm with my current OH, yes we have the random horniness every now and then when we just jump on each other, lol, but other times, we do it slow and sensually, and we're close and warm, and and it shocked me, and my partner also, as we both felt that for the first time it was what was referred to as, making love, as we felt such a deep, wonderful connection that neither of us had come close to experiencing before, and it made what we were experiencing physically alot more pleasurable.

    x x x x x

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Morbidia wrote:

    When i was with my ex, anything physical we used to do, was kinda meh, yeah, it was ok, but it wasnt something major.

    But now i'm with my current OH, yes we have the random horniness every now and then when we just jump on each other, lol, but other times, we do it slow and sensually, and we're close and warm, and and it shocked me, and my partner also, as we both felt that for the first time it was what was referred to as, making love, as we felt such a deep, wonderful connection that neither of us had come close to experiencing before, and it made what we were experiencing physically alot more pleasurable.

    x x x x x

    Ah indeedy the joys of youth!!! never grow old Morbidia!!! Now l accept that in this day and age that notion might be construed as an invitation to go dashing upto the top of Snowdon and throwing yourself off- but it ain't what l meant so don't !!

    TB

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    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    I prefer a good hard shag but I do enjoy making love, I think it depends on my mood which I prefer at the time but it generally is sex

    xxx

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    diddlexl [sign in to see picture]
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    See I think you can break it down into 3 catagories:

    1. Making Love- This is slow and sensual, Usually lasts for quite a while, you spend a lot of time looking into the other persons eyes and its all very romantic.
    2. Having sex- This is a little more motivated. More varied positions but still a lot of touching and romance involved.
    3. Fucking- This is balls to the wall, hard pounding, wake the neighbours kind of action. Romance doesnt enter into the equation its just good old fashioned pornstar sex. Often involves spanking and dirty talk. Normal 0 false false false MicrosoftInternetExplorer4 /* Style Definitions */ table.MsoNormalTable {mso-style-name:"Table Normal"; mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0; mso-tstyle-colband-size:0; mso-style-noshow:yes; mso-style-parent:""; mso-padding-alt:0cm 5.4pt 0cm 5.4pt; mso-para-margin:0cm; mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:10.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-ansi-language:#0400; mso-fareast-language:#0400; mso-bidi-language:#0400;}

    Now all three are good at one time but if your in the mood for one in particular the others just wont do

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    diddlexl [sign in to see picture]
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    And something weird happened at the end of that post sorry folks

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    crayola [sign in to see picture]
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    lol- I combined having sex and fuck :)

    I can't say I agree with the whole looking into the eyes thing being an amazing connection. The bloke's eyes glaze over if he's having fun, which I find incredibly sexy, but it doesn't seem like he's connecting with me if I look into them. I love it after the sex/ making love (if it happens lol) but during it makes me feel spaced out and unconnected. Touch makes me feel more connected. If I feel like we've hit a making love point, I have to proper lay on him, so it's full flesh to flesh.

    Isn't it interesting how different we all are?!

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    Morbidia [sign in to see picture]
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    TB, right now, i gladly would x x

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    Incogneeto [sign in to see picture]
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    gotta admit i have to agree with diddlexl. Theres a huge difference between making love, sex and a good hard fuck and all 3 of them r great. But when u just feel like having a good hard fuck then making love just doesnt satisfy u :-D all of them are amazing at the right time hehehe :-D tho i do enjoy having a good hard fuck then making love afterwards :-D

    x

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    Allevi [sign in to see picture]
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    Id regard making love as a deep, emotional, almost spiritual shared initmate connection between two people.

    Whereas sex is just having a good fuck. completely detached, just lacing up the cowboys boots with spurrs, slapping the hat on then saddling up.

    Giggy up!

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    RuRu Rabbit [sign in to see picture]
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    Allevi wrote:

    Id regard making love as a deep, emotional, almost spiritual shared initmate connection between two people.

    Whereas sex is just having a good fuck. completely detached, just lacing up the cowboys boots with spurrs, slapping the hat on then saddling up.

    This post made me laugh more than I have in a good week...

    xxx

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    creativewriter1985 [sign in to see picture]
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    When you're not with someone, sex is just sex.

    When you're in a committed relationship, you can have the best of both worlds. You can have a nice loving session which I'd class as making love, or if you're really gagging for it, you're shagging, or fucking, whatever terminology you want to use.

    I definitely still make the distinction, and both are nice dependent on what mood you're in!

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