Contraception

Me and my wife have decided that kids arent for us.

Until now, we've been just using condoms as contraception, but I'd like a more intimate kind of sex where i dont have to fumble to get a condom on beforehand.

My wife doesnt want to use the pill because she doesnt believe she'll be able to take it at the same time, every day without forgetting. I then looked at getting the snip, but my dad and other articles online have put me off of the idea (my dad still often gets searing pain since the op and keeps getting false cancer scares because of it)

Then theres the IUD. I thought it might be a good option, but then noticed that it might make my wifes personality change due to the hormones and also make her put on weight (i dont mind that, she does)

I dont want to do the pull out method, because that got my g/f in uni pregnant (we lived and worked and studied together. I thought it might be her cheating on me, but she literally had no time to have one) before i knew that was possible.

Does anyone else have any suggestions that might work of differing opinions?

I've been using the contraceptive injection for the last few years - it's Depo Provera and lasts for three months. A longer-term option is the implant, which lasts for three years, and can be removed at any time should you and your wife change your minds (just to reassure you that it's reversible).

There are few if any side-effects to both options.

A lot of guys that had pain after getting the snip say that the pain disappeared when they had it reversed.

That could be something to look into if you do consider a vasectomy although you wont get a reversal on the NHS, not even for extreme pain.

Perhaps some Lovehoney members could shed more light on reversals for you.

"My wife doesnt want to use the pill because she doesnt believe she'll be able to take it at the same time, every day without forgetting." - Why not? Thousands of other women do. You could remind her each day, until it becames a routine.

It's actually not as easy as it sounds - you can't guarantee that you'll be free at the same time each day to take it, and if you miss the slot, then it's not effective for a week.

Thousands of women may be able to, but the number of women on contraception are far higher - suggesting they can't stick to the same time each day either.

Didn't realise the time window was that tight. Just thought you popped it each day and that was it.

i got a watch with an alarm for this as i thought i'd never remember. im not perfect yet but apparently you have a 3 hour safe period to take it in so it doesnt matter if your not dead on. when im with my partner i get him to fead it to me so he knows im taking it properly. its nice too cos it feels like he's realy looking after me.

but, if you still dont think she could manage it then there are some pills that you dont have to take at the same time every day.

i personly would stear clear of implant/ coil. i heard stories of women bleeding constanly with the coil and with the pill its nice knowing you can control it and stop if you feel something isnt right or you,re not liking it. also im not sure how good it is not having a period for ages. i've had some quite painfull ones after not having my 7 day break for a fiew months in a row.

go to your GP tho as they will be able to give you information on all options.

With most pills you have a 6 hour window, so it isn't actually that bad I don't think. And if you take it either when you wake up or before you go to bed then you have a better chance of it being roughly the same time each day, and definitely within the window. And it does eventually just become routine. Fair enough if she reaaally couldn't though.

EskimoKisser, most contraception for women have the ability to change personalities because of hormones though, but everyone reacts differently so it's not a definite thing.

There is another Pill which simply has to be taken once a day, at any time of the day. I don't remember the name - only that it gave me very very nasty headaches.

chipilapa wrote:

It's actually not as easy as it sounds - you can't guarantee that you'll be free at the same time each day to take it, and if you miss the slot, then it's not effective for a week.

with the ones im on (microgenon-30) you have a 12 hour period before its unafective for a week. you can chose your own time when you start (7pm for me) and you can always carry a spair packet or one in a small pot with you in your handbag/ in the car. as long as you remember to pack enough when you go on holiday/away (same as condoms really) then you will be fine.

I tried it about 12 years ago, the nurse insisted there was only a tiny window in which it could be taken each day. That didn't work, so I went onto the "anytime each day", couldn't cope with the headaches and have used the injection ever since. I've heartily recommended it to many friends since then - all you've got to remember to do is have it topped up every 11 weeks and that's it!

Ah, see I turned into a crazy bitch on the injection! But I definitely have a 6hour window which I think's pretty amazing, and really handy if I've been out.

I am sorry chipilapa, I have to disagree with you about Depo having little or no side effects.

I have had a terrible experience on the Depo. Everything was fine for the first year or two then the weight piled on and my libido vanished. By vanished, I don't mean not feeling in the mood sometimes, I mean total loss of sex drive and all pleasure linked to it (it's not used as chemical castration for nothing).

Even after stopping the injections, the effects of the drug are still present three years later! I am still struggling to lose the weight and I still suffer from a low libido. Some affected women say it can take 10 years for the libido to return, others say it never does, I really hope to be one of the lucky ones.

I know some women get on fine with it but I thought it was important to offer the OP both sides of the story.

I've been on depo provera for five years and get on brilliantly with it. The only problem I have is when it's due I get major mood swings where I feel quite low, but that's pretty much normal hormones anyway I guess :D. One of my friends tried depo and bled constantly though - so it's about having a chat with your GP about whats best for you and if it doesn't work, move on to something else. As you can see, not everyone reacts the same to everything.

Hi I have a contraceptive implant, which basically resembles a small flexible plastic stick about an inch or so, which is inserted into the the inner upper arm. It is not uncomfortable and really sounds awful but really was not painful when inserted at my local doctors. It lasts for 3 years and you can also have it removed whenever you like. It just gets replaced with a new one when the 3 years are up.

I have had numerous problems with contraception over the years and have to say this is the best thing i have ever tried. No need to ever worry about regular visits to the doctors or remember pills to take. It is brilliant. I dont give it a second thought now as i know i am protected and has taken a huge worry off my mind.

I have not experienced any side effects as far as i know, but obviously its an individual thing. Hope this is helpful to you.

I had the implant in and it completley took away my sex drive but thats just me it affects every one different and it can be removed at anytime if your partner decides its actually not right for her

if she hasn't tried the pill already then that would be a good place to start- i take mine before i go to bed so around 10.30 and it has a 12 hour safe period so if i ever forget to take it i have until 10.30 the next morning to remember it but taking it as part of your bedtime is easy and convenient.

it can also do wonders for your periods and pmt- makes periods lighter and less painful. i hardly get any pmt anymore.

also it means you can make your period start on whatever day is convenient for you so you're not caught out if you have something important on!

the best thing for both of you to do is go to your doctor or family planning clinic and ask.

everyone is different and what suits us might not suit you

that being said there's plenty of long term contraceptives to look into. Several forms of IUD, diagphram, implant, injection or even the patch.

there's info on the NHS website for contraceptives http://www.nhs.uk/Conditions/Contraception/Pages/Introduction.aspx

I'd say if you want no children consider the IUD? Mirena is good and it shouldn't that big an effect.

Each method of contraception has side effects. Some women find one method perfect for them and other women hate it.

The best thing to do is go to a family planning clinic, get all the information that you can get hold of without other people's opinions and experiences clouding your judgement and make a decision together.

The combined pill is worth a try if she thinks that she could remember to take it (after a while it becomes routine and if she has the pills by the bed then she can take one as soon as she wakes up in the morning)

If not then the implant, injection or the coil would be a good thing to consider.