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  1. Adultery

    rooster41 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 6
    • Joined: 18 Dec 2009

    Down the west country then,

    didn't recognise the pic.. but looking good

    chubber [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 81
    • Joined: 13 Dec 2008

    Try being in the situation where you partner has cheated on you and is continuing with the affair,while you are stuck at home as you have no way financialy to move out ,as the house is in their name as are all the bills bar maybe 3 bills,as it is they have gone away for 3 days with their lover,this has been going on for nr 12 months,i have only found out a month ago,now there was none of the usual signs anything was going on.Now the other person who has been cheated on wants me to meet them,so we can talk.


    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2667
    • Joined: 16 Feb 2012

    AliMc wrote:

    I was just reading on another forum about a woman's husband who confessed to cheating before they were married. Personally I couldn't stay with someone after finding out he cheated on me, regardless of when it was or how it happened, I just don't have it in me to do that.

    I think if someone wants to sleep with a person that isn't their OH (unless they have an agreement) they should break up with them first. Sure it would still hurt, but I imagine it would hurt more to be cheated on. What is everyone else's thoughts?

    Not always I ended up drunken in bed with a Japanese girl on my last night in Japan so drunk nothing happened, the next morning we both thought better of it and we went to the rail station and hugged goodbye. Three weeks later we got married, it depends on the reason for his/her wandering eye and how committed you are to seeing it through.

    dotdashdot [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 706
    • Joined: 7 Jun 2009

    As someone who has cheated in the past I think that it depends greatly on the circumstances.

    If I was cheated on and it was a drunken, one time thing then I'd like to think I'd forgive. If it was a moment of spontaneous passion that was regretted afterwards then again I'd like to think I'd forgive. If it was a long term affair then maybe not...

    It's very difficult and I don't think you can anticipate how you'd react until you're in the situation.

    I cheated because I was unhappy, I was too young to be tied down, he didn't treat me very well and I felt trapped. I was drunk and it was silly. There's no excuse for it but it made me realise that I needed to get out of the relationship.

    I grew up with cheating, I found out that my step dad had an affair when I was in my teens and my Mum cheated on him towards the end. I don't know if that's made me feel that it's acceptable to cheat... I hope not.

    I think that there are worse things that can happen in a relationship than cheating.

    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 687
    • Joined: 9 Aug 2010

    I always said I would walk away but on finding out my OH did sleep with someone 6 months into our relationship. I found out a year or so after it from the girl via twitter. Yes it hurt but the reality was we'd never spoken about where we were as a couple and it took a huge situation like that to make us talk about how we felt and where we were going. Sometimes things left unsaid can cause a couple to think otherwise.

    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    I think it's difficult to have a hard and fast rule that applies to all monogamous relationships. There are sometimes bizarre and extreme circumstances where bad things may happen without a person being *completely* at fault by which I mean, they are likely to still be at fault but their partner may find it easier to forgive because of the unusual circumstances that lead to it.

    I never say never - because you never know what could happen and it's difficult to know until you're in that situation. Me, I know my partner would never cheat on me so for that to happen there would be some bizarre circumstance that means I'd have to consider the situation as it is and all of the factors involved. I know some people can say never - for example my mother is so desperately insecure that if my dad had an affair she'd *have* to walk away for the sake of the relationship but I'm emotionally strong and I know there would have to be something massive for it to happen so I'd have to consider carefully.

    It's different for every relationship and every scenario so as I said, I can't see how there would be a hard and fast rule that applies to every monogamous relationship.


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