1. Popping her anal cherry

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow fuck a duck eh Mucky !!!

    TB

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    russ&clare wrote:

    [...] do you think I should let the OH read the letter I sent her? I do have access to it in her bedroom, so I could remove it, and/or replace it with another, differently worded, letter which I could make.

    Russ

    Russ, as a personal opinion, I think that you sent that letter to her, and it's hers now. If you remove it from her belongings without her knowing, and then she finds out (and she will), this may encourage her to distrust you more than before. Personally, I don't like the idea at all of anybody poking about in my things without my express permission. That is definitely a privacy issue, and a trust issue, and a respecting personal space issue.

    If you want to say something different to what was in the first letter, I would explain to her why you want the letter back, then ask her to give you it back. If there was something you wanted to say which wasn't in the previous letter, then just give her the new one regardless of whether she returns the old one.

    From my perspective, I know that if a person asked me for a letter back after they'd sent it to me, I would tell them I wasn't happy about that, and offer them two alternatives - 1 - I'd give the letter back but that would be the end of my interactions with them, full stop, or - 2 - I'd keep the letter and discuss the contents with them after I'd read it.

    The choice is yours of course. However, I do strongly recommend that you let her decide whether you get that letter back or not.

    Good luck.

    Lubyanka.

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    sexymel88 [sign in to see picture]
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    I must say I agree with Lubyanka on this one

    xxx

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    Morbidia [sign in to see picture]
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    redapple wrote:

    I think you would be pushing her ... and she is young ... why the rush if you intend to be together long term ...

    I know this is a sex forum, but does love come into it ... ? I would say wait, wait and then wait a bit longer ....

    Well said redapple :)

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    Mucky Duck [sign in to see picture]
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    Russ, no don't touch the letter. It was wht you wanted to say so you can't change it. Rather than write her a letter have a honest talk completely out of the sexual arena, go for a walk, a drive & just be open & honest. You'll probably find out out tat she wants to but is scared of trying.

    As I said before take it as slow as she needs to. Get her used to just having her ass hole touched (not entered, fingers & tongues) once she stops clenching up, then suprise her with the toy & leave it with her to try alone (buy a few others & say it was a freebie). She may try it. I you actually talk about it it won't be such a taboo & pressurised in the bedroom.

    I'm not saying she must take it in the ass, but how did she know she liked Chocolate Hob Nobs until she tried them? Give everything a fair chance. It's a long, patient road you both must travel but the sensation of a passionate anal session is imense for both. It it so worth the effort.

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    englishrose [sign in to see picture]
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    Sorry - coming in a bit late here, but I agree whole-heartedly with the advice you've been given so far.

    I do really agree most of all, though, with whoever said that communication is the key: I would focus more on discussing what you both like *face-to-face* - and with trust and acceptance, anything is possible. It's just MO, but I wouldn't try anal again in Amsterdam unless she asks you to. And if you want to get her to the stage where she might beg you for it - work hard to get her seriously excited and seriously satisfied and where she's so worked up that nothing else but your cock in her arse will do. And then go seriously slowly and gently, if you want to be in with a chance of getting to do it again - there's some great advice on this thread for how to do it successfully and pleasurably for her.

    If she feels pressurised by you buying toys without her knowledge, a set of butt plugs or an anal vibrator isn't going to improve things. So I really think the key is improving your communication - if she doesn't feel comfortable talking to you face-to-face about her desires, how on earth is she going to feel comfortable to have anal sex? The letter was a sweet idea - but the fact you've asked her if she's read it and she says she hasn't is a clue: you told her to read it when she's horny. Either she hasn't been horny at all - not the greatest of signs - or she hasn't any curiousity - not a great sign either when it comes to out-of-the-box sex: if my OH had written me a letter to read when I was horny, it would last about five minutes. Or if I hadn't read it when he asked if I had, I'd make sure to read it soon. And the other possibility, which I am afraid seems most likely to me - she has read it, and doesn't want to act on it so is claiming she has yet to read it. Whichever of these scenarios is correct, I still recommend you completely forget about the issue- and raising it with her - until she mentions it to you again.

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh, yes, there was something else I wanted to say ...

    I have this thing, where I think that if you can do a thing, then you should really be able to say that thing.

    It might be a comfortable idea if you restrict yourself to doing only those things which you can comfortably and easily discuss, and leave everything else alone until you can easily and comfortably discuss it. I think that is a good way of ensuring that both of you feel safe, both about what you are doing, and what you are discussing.

    My experience of letters and notes is not good. They usually feel to me like the person who wrote them is trying to say things when they're not there to take responsibility for saying them. So I'd personally recommend discussion over any written efforts. I'm not saying that written communication feels like that to everybody, just to me.

    Good luck.

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    fine and dandy [sign in to see picture]
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    Lubyanka, I love reading your answers, and though I find you quite forthright and a tad scary, your replies are difficult to argue with.

    Just wanted to say that.

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    fine and dandy, awww, that is a spectacularly validating compliment, thank you. :D

    I love being scary! You've made my whole week!

    *mwah*

    Lubyanka. :) :) :)

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    hornyteen [sign in to see picture]
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    I like anal but my OH doesnt. I mean seriously what male doesnt like anal!! He says it sounds better than it is and wont try it with me :(

    Also I would love to try anal on him but if I even touch his crack he goes mad.

    Damn this site is making me seriously question my sexual realtionship.

    I even nearly dumped him for being such a prude the other day. Ergh!

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    SH.1988 [sign in to see picture]
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    Anal is pretty erotic, I have a huge anal fetish, And also question Your OH's sanity ;D

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    JoJoxx [sign in to see picture]
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    Had mine done a few years ago. Hubby was a big no-no. The new fella.....is amazing. He tried me last night and I came so deeply, all i wanted to do was sleep...........i was so satisfied. And we talked about it. The funny feelings you get with it. Which made it all the better, because as ever, if you are not used to it you think that the worst is gonna happen!!! lol.

    No doubt we will be trying it some more.

    JJxx

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    Mr P [sign in to see picture]
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    Anal is something I've tried with various partners over the years and what at first suprised me was just how much my partners enjoyed it and positively demanded it. To be honest these days I think my wife gets a lot more out of it than me, but as so many others have already said it's all about trust, and taking the time to do it carefully and considerately. But just knowing that it makes my wife come so hard makes it extremely enjoyable for me too.

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    bigbrownblowjobeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    Finally happened over the weekend...

    My exes where so against it that they put me off, and made me feel dirty and cheap for even suggesting it. But my fella now is so totally different, in that and so many other aspects.

    So glad it happened, he was peeeeeeeeeeeeerfect. One of the best nights of my life.

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    Lubyanka [sign in to see picture]
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    That post totally gets my award for the

    Most Bestest Post To Read Ever In The Whole Of Today

    award!

    I adore making my partner feel dirty and cheap, but I have a feeling you didn't mean it like that. :/ I'm so glad you have a partner now who is so much more accepting and open. Your night sounds fabulous. Thanks for posting about it. :)

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    bigbrownblowjobeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    LOL I absolutely love being made to feel like that in the RIGHT way but they were being purely derogatory if you know what I mean.

    I can be the sluttiest whore going for current fella and love every minute as I know he doesnt really think lowly of me for it - they did. whereas he LOVES me for it. Big difference!

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    Mr P [sign in to see picture]
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    Can't understand how a man wouldn't want to pelasure his partner, no matter what she asks for. Anal is just another way of giving/getting pleasure, and at the end of the day that's what we're all here for :-) No one should ever be made to feel bad about their fantasies.

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Know what you mean about feeling slutty/dirty though, used to do it by gettng naked outdoors, on rocks, under waterfalls, kinda depended on the weather.......even got naked in a field full of critters once, wanted to ride bareback but would probably have got stampeded to death if l had even got cloe- what kinda dirty stuff gets you off campers!!!! preferable anal interest to avoid Carly's deleterious digit !!!

    TB

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    Lilla K [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi campers

    Well I first had anal about 18 years ago, but sadly it didn't go too well. It wasn't that I was spooked by it at all - I wanted to do it more than him, but the technique just wasn't there. He rushed it and, although it didn't particularly hurt, I now know he kind of squandered all the sensations for me. I know this because my new BF is absolutely stunning at anal and I makes my legs go weak. Slow when he needs to be, faster when the time is right, and brings me to a eye rolling O.

    I think I'm a lucky girl, and it is nice to know other campers are having fun too.

    And even more exciting, he might even let me try a strap on on him.

    Lilla

    xxxxxxxx

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    tallboy247 [sign in to see picture]
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    Lilla K,

    Now this is one for careful consideration. Yu might think that as a bloke he/we/l would feel penetrated, and l mean penetrated by being ass fucked with a strap-on, but it's not quite that simple hun.

    The inteior is nerve free as far as l can see, and thus it is largely down to the insertion, from the male perspective.

    Wholly selfish l know, and from the male perspective l agree.

    From the gal's perspective l accept the thrill of servicing her partner surpasseth all comparisons, but worth bearing in mind when acquiring the dildo!!

    Not understood the above, suggest you acquire one with ridges, heads whatever, as the anal sphincter sets will love you to orgasm for introducing them to it!!!

    Once inside it's like waving a wand in the Albert Hll... to use a Mucky Duck like phrase.

    Hope this humble offering is a modicum of assistance Lilla K.

    Tallboy

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