• Female Domination (Femdom)

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    Lol he did seem pretty scared :D What techniques do you plan to use/look forward to the most?

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    I find all this quite interesting but my OH isn't remotely interested in the idea and can't really get his head around why anyone would be. Ho hum! TBH I don't think I could pull it off anyway without feeling a bit silly and self-conscious! But it makes interesting reading, even if I'm not participating. Shame, when I've just bought those fab new shows ;-) I especially like the idea of treats and massages lol - he does the housework anyway!

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    My 'real' man isnt submissive at ALL , but he does find what I do very amusing, he just doesn't understand why anyone would want to submit :)

    So in that way My D/s is very different from you, Littlemisshorny, My subs and slaves are males I'm in contact with but I do not have sex with them ever... there is a bond there but only as Mistress and slave never as partners :)

    So My domination isn't as much bedroom as just life control mwahaha

    Aww well maybe try one thing at a time with him until he is conditioned and trained properly ;)

    I'm sure he has a safeword if he finds it all a bit much. Chastity is a great motivational tool.

    xxxx

    1264443164
    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    BitofWOW wrote:

    Great advice as always MC

    Thanks! How are you feeling, bit scared? :D hehe

    1264534157
    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Mistress Cara wrote:

    My 'real' man isnt submissive at ALL , but he does find what I do very amusing, he just doesn't understand why anyone would want to submit :)

    So in that way My D/s is very different from you, Littlemisshorny, My subs and slaves are males I'm in contact with but I do not have sex with them ever... there is a bond there but only as Mistress and slave never as partners :)

    So My domination isn't as much bedroom as just life control mwahaha

    Aww well maybe try one thing at a time with him until he is conditioned and trained properly ;)

    I'm sure he has a safeword if he finds it all a bit much. Chastity is a great motivational tool.

    xxxx

    I found this really interesting. I had wondered how the situation worked with being aware of you having a 'normal' for want of a better word relationship as well as slaves. It's a totally different world to me :-)

    1264537059
    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Yeah, I said to OH last night "I want a slave..." lol But I doubt he'd be up for it - plus where would one acquire such a person? I don't think I could muster up that side of me unless I was in a bad mood anyway. I couldn't be mean to them :-( I'd have to draw on my GCSE drama skills to play the part PMSL

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    See I love the idea of what Mistress Cara does. Has a proper partner with whom she has a stable relationship with, and having the Dom/sub no sex relationships aswell. You must have a quite open minded partner Mistress Cara.

    I would love to have a proper Master/Mistress to give me the strict submissive thrills I need, and the thought has past my mind more than once, but I dont think my OH would agree at all, even if there was no sex involved.

    Yes my man is very open-minded and very secure in himself, I think you would need to be. I often tell him how lucky I am to have him, he is very good about me being Domme and needing to satiate that need in Me to dominate another, as well as the need to have lesbian lovers too. {another story! lol]

    It has taken a long time to get to the point in our relationship, despite him trusting Me, where I can have a slave who my OH is comfortable to have around at home. It took my OH to get to know him, and to see how we are 'in action' so to speak, also helps that he does the housework and sometimes the shopping! haha.

    He was there at our first session so he knows completely that I do not have a slave for mere sexual thrills, although I get off on the control, power and dominance, and slave's submission, it is a deeper carnal need that is satiated by my D/s. I h my man for my sex life and my slaves cos I'm Domme.

    Columbus wrote:

    Yeah, I said to OH last night "I want a slave..." lol But I doubt he'd be up for it - plus where would one acquire such a person? I don't think I could muster up that side of me unless I was in a bad mood anyway. I couldn't be mean to them :-( I'd have to draw on my GCSE drama skills to play the part PMSL

    There are many fetish/bdsm sites where people meet, learn, play, get more serious etc. I'm an entirely nice person, it's a myth that you have to be a bitch to be a Domme/Dominatrix... If I were that mean I would not care about satiating their mirrored need to be dominated. I spank them cos I like them. :D It's a weird concept to get your head around but the thrill of power exchange is just amazing, to be controlled by another for either a session for an hour, or life... and the thrill of captug a person's will and making them do anything you want... It's truly amazing.

    Littlemisshorny wrote:

    I'm starting to build my confidence up with this now. Iv realised that I can get him to do things for me, outside the bedroom that doesn't involve sex. Iv always seen being dominant as a sexual thing but I now know it doesn't need to be. I hate the thought of being to bossy and coming accross as nasty but i need to get used to that cus I think he gets a buzz from it!

    I can tell! You have changed it seems from what you have said on the boards even in just the last few days, as you become acquainted with your inner lioness... I'm quite predatory sexually, I used to be a door mat in life but now I think life is too short, I go for what I want. If he gets off on you being bossy and a 'faux' bitch, then do that! It's partly cos he gets a thrill from it that you are doing it, so how can it be mean? Hope I'm making sense lol. Keep communcating and finding out that he is ok as you go deeper and I'm sure everything will be fine.

    Good luck sisters!

    MC xxx

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Just out of interest then, if because of life circumstances for example, you were no longer able to continue that Dom/Sub relationship then do you ever worry about the impact on your slave? I just wonder how dependent they are upon you? It's all very interesting. I remember reading an ad on Gumtree once, where a man wanted to be able to go down on a woman, her sitting on his face, while she ate chocolates and wine that he'd provide. I thought, "God how fabulous!". Another ad was a female Dom who wanted to lend out her slave to someone to do their chores and to be humiliated further. I thought "Ooo that'd be great getting him to wash the pots...". Maybe I could persuade Elcano if it means he won't have to do anymore housework LOL I don't mind him being more dominant sometimes (not particularly out of bed though, although something Sweet Submission said was very interesting on another thread about feeling comfortable being submissive in the bedroom if she's sure her partner respects her and sees her as the confident, capable, professional woman in everyday life...) so maybe I should get someone I can dominate if he's not game. It's probably just a fantasy though really. Can't see me really being in a position to do that and not sure in reality it's something I would be able to dedicate enough time/energy to xx

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    I do worry about My slave if I were no longer able to dominate him due to circumstances/other reasons... but this is part of it unfortunately. Things end, not just Ds rels but normal rels/friendships, things and times move on. I have no plans to get rid of my slave at present, as long as he keeps behaving!

    There are infinitely more slaves seeking a Mistress than Mistresses seeking slaves, putting us in the position where we are able to pick and choose, and the subs are kept pathetic and desperate, as it should be. I have never had to look for a slave, other than my profile being on various fetish sites etc.

    There is the fun novel element to the domination [the housework/gifts etc] but the subs submit because they need the creativity of a dominant Woman who is able to mentally manipulate them as well as just telling them to do tasks... it is about the tension, the psychology, understanding how the male submissive mind works and using this to your advantage. I would advise doing extensive background research and study so you really get a 'feel' for FemDom .. and you are aware of the full range of techniques not just tangible and physical but also mental/psychological.

    There is more to the art of FemDom than at first meets the eye!

    You end up in complete control of another person, you need to be responsible. SSC and RACK are two ways within the scene.

    SSC: Safe Sane and Consensual

    RACK: Risk Aware Consensual Kink

    These are BDSM codes of conduct if you wish, they are there to physically and mentally safeguard both Dom/me and sub. I always comply with a subs set limits and stop at any mention of their safeword. I use the 'traffic light' system too, I can check he is ok by asking 'Green?' and he is able to stop the scene for a check up and discussion if he says 'amber' or stop entirely if he says 'red'.

    I don't see this as hard work but more something innately natural, if it is hard work and you get tired/bored with it then in all likelihood either Domination isn't for you or that sub isn't for you!

    The novel techniques and ways of making them submit, chastity, orgasm control, cuckoldry, cbt, forced fem, sissification, forced bi, corporal punishment etc etc are just ways to express how I already act naturally, like I own them, I am superior due to my Femininity and they are submissive because they are male.

    I'm a Dominant type of person in everyday life so I guess it was inevitable that I would find an outlet for this in some satiating way, FemDom/BDSM is a safe and creative way to express what is already there inside me.

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    *Dreamy Sigh* ... Looking for any female subs Mistress? Lol!

    Always! *hungry look*

    ;)

    xxx

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    It's an individual thing... There is a 'scene' phrase, 'your kink is not my kink'... which is used to demonstrate that we all have differing tastes in kink [ and everything, I guess!] yet we can all get on and find overall harmony whilst being different.

    I find some fetishes very disgusting, personally... yet some people can find what pleasures me a real turn off.

    LMH - Im really pleased you and your OH have found a nice balance so you both get what you want out of it :) Nice to see a balance as it's so very rare. Like Ive said previously my man's very vanilla and not sub so sometimes it's a shame I cannot indulge My interests with him in this way and be more 'bedroom bondage'!

    I'm rather more deviant than would normally be seen here I guess so I'm sorry if anyone is offended by what I'm into or finds it too extreme or off putting. :) I don't realise how sinful I am sometimes I guess ! :D

    love,

    MC

    XXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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    mc just keep on being yourself xxx

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm not offended! I try not to be judgement in life in general anyway. I just find it rather fascinating :-)

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    Columbus [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh I keep making typos! Doh!

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    hehe

    Ok Im glad I didnt freak anyone! :D

    xxxxxx

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    That's ok My cute little wench ;)

    Mmmm imagining you in the outfit now, kissing My feet and being a good lil girl ;)

    xxx

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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    Cara Sutra [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Heh! You have brilliant taste!

    In subs? hehe ;)

    I didnt even tell you about the collar/leash/plug/chas belt/nipple clamp accessories LOL

    xxx

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    Naughty Devil [sign in to see picture]
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    you seem to have frightened her off!

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    jaibei [sign in to see picture]
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    Lubyanka wrote:

    Little Bitch Boy wrote:

    Lubyanka wrote:

    Can you be more specific? Advice about what, exactly?

    Situations, stories, methods, games, humiliations, punishments, toys and anything else a more experienced member might think of could give us...

    If I understand you correctly, you're seeking new ideas for kinky stuff to do in the bedroom, is that right? If that's what you're looking for, some idea of what you've already done might be helpful.

    My power exchange dynamic with my submissive is based less on specific activities such as you mention, and more on me owning him, so I don't think I can give you examples of games and suchlike as you requested. However, regarding methods, I established my ownership over him by gaining his consent for me to have the final say over his health and pleasure. That is, whilst he is responsible for allocating his own time so that he gets everything done that he needs to, and is also responsible for reporting his state of being to me whenever there is a change, I have the final say regarding how he takes care of himself, and how much pleasure (if any) he is allowed.

    One health example - he has been to the doctor under my direction, and as a result, several long-standing, pre-existing health problems have been identified and are now being treated.

    A pleasure example - I allow him to masturbate unsupervised and at times of his choosing for an hour once a week, but he's not allowed to orgasm unless I give specific permission.

    I don't ever do "punishments", since I know that my submissive's primary desire is to please me, and his failure to do so hurts him much more than it hurts me. I don't have to do anything to punish him, he does it all by himself. The fact that he knows that I have no desire to punish him, and that all I want is my own happiness and his optimal functioning, means that he only associates me with pleasure, and not with unpleasantness. This is an important part of my training scheme.

    You and your partner might be interested in my resource on prostate milking:

    http://ladylubyanka.wordpress.com/prostate-milking/

    I wish you luck. :)

    Lady Lubyanka

    I love the idea of being Milked

    your willing slave Jon

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