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  1. A "Subtle" hint for my man for christmas

    Lmills [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 20 Oct 2010

    Hi all!

    Not that my sex life is BAD - I basically want a suble sexy hint that I am SO BORED of predicting when we're going to be having sex

    When we have sex it's fantasic, but Its twice a week, once Friday, once Saturday and possibly once in the week if I see him!!

    I basically want something like a book to say - sort yourself out and be spontaneous once in a while!

    Hopefully you lovely people can help!

    man of pleasure [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 201
    • Joined: 7 Sep 2010

    do you instigate the moves for when you have sex?

    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 689
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    Twice a week! Wow, I wish I could have predicted that for the last 11 years....

    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 641
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2009

    Hi Lmills

    Welcome to the forum!

    I recommend just talking to him. Hubby will sometimes say to me "we haven't been getting a lot lately" or vice versa. Neither one of us takes offense (in fact so far it's been met with agreement & prompt action to remedy the situation).

    It's easy to settle into a routine & you'll probably find if you mention it he'll be feeling the same way. If you don't tell him, how is he to know that you're not perfectly happy?

    I don't hold too much faith in subtle hints, they're too open to be overlooked or misinterpreted. I'd rather tell hubby openly or be told openly. Just my thoughts.

    Good luck!

    CCW x

    S&S [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 402
    • Joined: 13 Feb 2011

    Maybe some of the 'vow' cards? We're quite fond of these: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19941

    You could maybe just leave them around, or slip one into his pocket in the morning. I guarantee if he found a kinky promise in his pocket during the day, he would be home to ravish you. And then it wouldn't be long before he starts instigating more.

    Of course, sitting down and chatting it out is an option. But it's understandable if that's not an option - guys can feel pressured about having sex too!

    Either way, good luck and we hope you get your way!

    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 716
    • Joined: 24 Apr 2010

    Most of the basic "how to" sex improvement books will have some reference to spontaneity as a way to "keep the thrill alive" and so forth, so pretty much any would be a safe bet. However, are you sure he won't be more offended/crushed by handing him a book that may as well say "So You Suck in Bed" on the cover than if you just tell him straight in your own words that, while you enjoy the sex, the scheduling is less fun?

    If you want to go subtler, I'd leave the book idea and try to make it possible on another night. Initiating it on an "off night" will make it clear to him that you're good to go on more than just those pre-planned days, and once it has succeeded a few times, hold back and let him have the chance to make the first move. If it works out maybe he'll start initiating it on other nights when the mood strikes him first.

    Do think a little about the whys of it, though. If he's had a long, tiring, stressful day at work, is longing for bed, and dreading having to peel himself back out to repeat it the next day...that's not very libido-enhancing. I know there's been some times when I'd love to have sex, I'm more than up for it, but I won't because I know I won't fully enjoy it; I'll be thinking about how much less sleep I'll have after "wasting" precious time. Friday and Saturday, he probably doesn't have to fret so much about how he'll deal with another horrid day on so much less sleep, and can afford to stay up a little late. Maybe talking to him about how tired/stressed he is, trying to see if there's a way ye can work together to make sure that he gets enough rest and has an outlet for his stress. You don't have to mention sex in it at all, just focus on his well-being and how you want him to be able to relax and enjoy evenings with you. Side effect of that could be him being more up for it mid-week without having to chastise him at all, as well as making him a happier person. And, if it's something that has no solution at all, at least you might feel less sidelined when you know that he's not being so routine-ish because he's boring or bored of you, but because that's as much as he can give.

    Lakelandlad [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 3 Nov 2008

    So a Lady that wants to change her Man, I know just the thing, a bool called How to Become a Superman and keep your undies inside your trousers, I've got it and as well as a laugh it has some good ideas, thet helped me be a better husband. Have a look http://www.howtobecomeasuperman.co.uk, how it works for your man.

    rose hip [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1065
    • Joined: 19 Aug 2010

    Lmills wrote:

    When we have sex it's fantasic, but Its twice a week, once Friday, once Saturday and possibly once in the week if I see him!!

    I basically want something like a book to say - sort yourself out and be spontaneous once in a while!

    Two thoughts:

    1) "if you see him" suggests that there's a rather significant factor getting in the way of spontanity. Like not living together. Or work demands. No book can address those.

    2) You've essentially said that you want a book to do your communicating for you. I'm hoping this reflects a casual choice of words more than your assumptions. Either way, your word choice does make me wonder how you've been communicating your hopes of greater spontaneity with your OH.

    Just some things which occurred to me as I was reading your request.

    A&J [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 1
    • Joined: 25 Oct 2011

    I know exactly how you feel I too had the "twice a week" slots usually Saturday and Sunday mornings, untill I brought my first outfit from Lovehoney. My hubby is a little confused as to what is going on but I told him to just enjoy me!.

    I started with a dress up out fit and now have moved on to sexy dresses and have just purchased some massage oil. I'm happier, he's worn out (oops!) but we have put a spark back in our relationship!

    I wouldn't bother with a book it may offend him and he might take it the wrong way! good luck

    Elle_S [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 56
    • Joined: 28 Jan 2010

    I always find the best remedy with my OH is to dress up a little (doesn't have to be a lot) and when he comes home just whisper about how wet I've been all day thinking of him, or about all the things I want to do with/to him...instant response usually!

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