• Thoughts on this?

    1290183587
    jjmmjj [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 48
    • Joined: 9 Sep 2010

    Recently the OH caught me having some solo fun....

    It wasnt over her, there was another picture there, nobody we know to be honest, a celeb to be honest but she really wasnt happy, because it wasnt over her, i honestly wouldnt mind that when she does it its not about me all the time, its only fantasy isnt it? am i in the minority though? do women not like their OHs doing it over other women? guys too?

    1290184176
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Personally I think it's over protective. It's your sexuality and sharing it with a partner is a gift not a right. I don't personally think of other people, more so because I think of actions and body parts rather than whole 'beings'!

    Although it might seem unreasonable perhaps there are other factors at play. Many people are insecure and for you to look at someone else can seem to be as a rejection of her and lack of satisfaction you might feel with her. I don't agree, after all as much as we all love chocolate cake we wouldn't eat it all the time! Communication might help, explain why it was someone else and how this doesn't reflect badly on the relationship, maybe it reflects positively because she is the only one you would actually ever want.

    I know I'd be upset if I didn't satisfy my partner, perhaps you just need to explain you are satisfied and it's just a way to blow off steam. You should not feel guilty about fantasising.

    1290190965
    yuraku [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 48
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2010

    This is a tricky area to really answer in as its quite normal for men and women to get off while looking at images/films etc of other people but a lot of people (men and women) would be mighty annoyed if they caught their partners getting off to content of another man or woman.

    I think it also depends on how your own sex life is. How you treat your partner, etc, etc. If you make her or him feel like the most special person in the World and you trully care/Love them then it will probably have an effect on how they react when they catch you. If the person is secure in themselves and they trully know you love them then they will probably not be bothered, if however they fly of the handle it will normally be due to a lack of confidence in themselves or the fact that you dont really make them feel secure enough in your own emotions/love or effections to your partner....

    Make any sense?

    1290193212
    Kooky [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 86
    • Joined: 4 Oct 2010

    TBH, I think I would be slightly hurt if I caught my OH having fun over a picture of a stranger when it could have been a picture of me. I am not a jealous person in any way and although I know this would never happen, I don't mind my OH watching porn and he doesn't mind me watching porn so I think that somewhere, you may have a communication breakdown. Just a guess.

    There again, our relationship is slightly more open as I am encouraged to get another woman involved in my life as I'm bi-sexual and the porn that I watch tends to be women on women....

    Talk to your OH and explain that it was only fantasy - afterall, that's all it was, wasn't it?

    1290194106
    yuraku [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 48
    • Joined: 18 Oct 2010

    Kooky wrote:

    TBH, I think I would be slightly hurt if I caught my OH having fun over a picture of a stranger when it could have been a picture of me. I am not a jealous person in any way and although I know this would never happen, I don't mind my OH watching porn and he doesn't mind me watching porn so I think that somewhere, you may have a communication breakdown. Just a guess.

    There again, our relationship is slightly more open as I am encouraged to get another woman involved in my life as I'm bi-sexual and the porn that I watch tends to be women on women....

    Talk to your OH and explain that it was only fantasy - afterall, that's all it was, wasn't it?

    Who asked you Kooky!!!!!!!!! hahahahaha only teasing hun....

    Some people are very open (sexually) and others are more used to locking stuff away so catching their OH having fun with images of some other woman/guy could be upsetting.... All depends on what i said above and the person thats doing the catching

    1290194626
    Dirty Red Angel [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 684
    • Joined: 16 Sep 2010

    Not much different to add other than I personally wouldn't be hurt if my OH had someone else in his mind whilst having solo fun, but perhaps there's an underlying issue as to why your OH felt a little hurt. Seconding what others have said really, but perhaps talk to her to find out why she feels uphappy.

    Perhaps she always imagined she'd be in your mind and now that she realises she's not, she's a little put out, but if you talk to her I'm sure she'll understand that you love her tonnes and this is just a little fantasy.

    1290200103
    missorgasm [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 216
    • Joined: 28 Jun 2009

    Deffo talk to her about it, she may just be very insecure in which case she needs your reasurance and support to show how much you love and fancy her. in the unlikely event shes slighlty controlling (have a friend going through this atm) then point out its your right to use your imagination whilst alone as it is hers too, there is nothing wrong with visual stimulation to get you going alone, its no different to thinking erotic things, reading an erotic book etc. im sure shes just feeling a smidge insecure an needs a big man hug though

    Thread closed

    This thread is closed, so no new messages can be posted.