• Relationships and Race

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    I think a distinction exists between noticing and 'seeing but never thinking about it'.

    I'd say noticing is being actively aware of it when you meet someone, I notice languages/accents and names because I'm generally good at placing them rather than race.

    I'd say seeing but never thinking about is how I perceive (I'm sure many people probably you too) someone but am not aware, so if asked directly I could tell you their ethnicity but before that point it's not been a relevant factor in any judgement.

    You put it so much better than I ever could!

    Adx

    You say that but then I've just re-read my spelling and syntax...

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    That's exactly it! I see people's colour because it's optical input and it does get registered somewhere in my brain because I recognise people when I see them again, could describe them and notice if something changes e.g. if someone gets a tan on holiday. I guess that's what I mean by noticing - the fact that my brain has stored the information! Bloody words confuse me lol!

    xxKPxx

    Well I'm in the same position as you - just my brain doesn't store anything - ever*! I'm not very observant/good at remembering things.

    Adx

    *slight exaggeration

    1288727796
    Nymeria [sign in to see picture]
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    Hm, well I'm British Asian and my OH is White American..

    When I went over there- His area was predominantly white and I really stood out. It was quite amusing though. Kids tend to just stare lol. I didn't mind the attention. At one point when some people was talking to my partner they openly said that they had never seen a girl like me before... It was weird though cause they didn't mean anything racially insulting. That's just how it is for some people.

    I loved being beside my OH though. I feel like I'm home when I'm with him. Our cultures differ a lot (racially, geographically, and in some aspects of religion) but it makes for some interesting conversation. We do clash on some things but we always end up laughing and agree to disagree. I think it helps that we're both so open. It was one of the reasons we clicked so much at first. He's my best friend and knows me better than anyone- even those within my culture and race. We don't take things too seriously at all and make fun of eachother knowing that we love eachother wholly.

    Reading these posts actually made me think twice... I love learning about different cultures and am quite open about that. Also, I do notice features- that may include racial-specific features including skin colour, how the eyes are shaped, etc. It doesn't make me feel any differently towards anyone. I'm just quite an observing person. I think being a little erm.. uptight about racism can in itself be slightly racist. We should lighten up and be able to talk about things- of course, still being sensitive- but people can be a little too sensitive... if that makes sense.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    x X x wrote:

    Hm, well I'm British Asian and my OH is White American..

    When I went over there- His area was predominantly white and I really stood out. It was quite amusing though. Kids tend to just stare lol. I didn't mind the attention. At one point when some people was talking to my partner they openly said that they had never seen a girl like me before... It was weird though cause they didn't mean anything racially insulting. That's just how it is for some people.

    I loved being beside my OH though. I feel like I'm home when I'm with him. Our cultures differ a lot (racially, geographically, and in some aspects of religion) but it makes for some interesting conversation. We do clash on some things but we always end up laughing and agree to disagree. I think it helps that we're both so open. It was one of the reasons we clicked so much at first. He's my best friend and knows me better than anyone- even those within my culture and race. We don't take things too seriously at all and make fun of eachother knowing that we love eachother wholly.

    Reading these posts actually made me think twice... I love learning about different cultures and am quite open about that. Also, I do notice features- that may include racial-specific features including skin colour, how the eyes are shaped, etc. It doesn't make me feel any differently towards anyone. I'm just quite an observing person. I think being a little erm.. uptight about racism can in itself be slightly racist. We should lighten up and be able to talk about things- of course, still being sensitive- but people can be a little too sensitive... if that makes sense.

    I agree. If things become so forced you then must actively look for differences for fear of offending anyone, meaning you then notice differences that shouldn't matter otherwise. I know the intent is different from 'active' racism but simply because you wish to benefit someone doesn't make it any less discriminatory.

    It's also slightly racist to believe people of different cultures/races will actually care about certain issues, you don't really have a right to speak for them. The strange thing is it's the left and right who can be both as infuriating.

    I think you can also be 'racist' to a majority by allowing an individual, or minority, to set the agenda. One pissed off individual doesn't mean you are behaving in a racist manner and you're insensitive, it might just be that the other person is a tool.

    Interesting post, thanks for the insight.

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    TRE [sign in to see picture]
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    I can be attracted to people of any race.

    I think it is an issue for a considerable amount of people out there but it shouldn't be.

    Take and treat people how you find them, is that the expression? Thats what I do anyway.

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    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hear here! Well said Tre and welcome to the forums. SG

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    TRE [sign in to see picture]
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    SEXYGET 69 wrote:

    Hear here! Well said Tre and welcome to the forums. SG

    Thanks.

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