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  1. Cheaters Anon

    1287011998
    Lovebunny12 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 12
    • Joined: 10 Oct 2010

    Ok we will wipe the slate and just leave it.

    1287012006
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 994
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    BashfulBabe wrote:

    It's also worth bearing in mind that just because someone did something selfish that does not make them a selfish person. I'm sure that not one of us here would claim to having been perfect in every way from the moment they were born; we've all made mistakes, or bad choices, or let the negative side slip out.

    The important thing is always to be able to recognise and own up to those bad moments. Holding your hands up, saying "yup, I screwed up, and I regret it and won't do it again" is about as good as you can ask for from a mere human being. And from the other side, it's just as important to let the person have a chance to prove that they are worth more than one action from their past. Different if someone was coming here saying that they cheat all the time and they don't care because it'sd their fun that matters, that's an ongoing selfish attitude, which is entirely different to one moment of lapsed judgement that is regretted and over with.

    If this was facebook, I'ld * Like * this comment.

    1287012059
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 994
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    Lovebunny12 wrote:

    Ok we will wipe the slate and just leave it.

    Thankyou.

    And Welcome to the OA

    1287012623
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    *Wasn't WandA in an argument for once*

    1287013291
    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 851
    • Joined: 2 Aug 2009

    WandA wrote:

    *Wasn't WandA in an argument for once*

    lol *like*

    1287013595
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 994
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    WandA wrote:

    *Wasn't WandA in an argument for once*

    Always a first time for everything mate! lol Only jestin'

    1287014640
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Seduced wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    *Wasn't WandA in an argument for once*

    Always a first time for everything mate! lol Only jestin'

    Oi slag! You tryna start an argument! I'll av' you!

    1287015453
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 994
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    On Guard...

    1287018943
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 689
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    Cheated? No! Absolutely not! Nev... um ... well there was this one time. ...

    I won't bore you with all the details

    Oi! who was that cheering?

    but one night I found myself drifting slowly into a very passionate kissing session on the sofa of a really nice girl who I'd never suspected thought of me as anything but a friend. Trouble was, I was friends with another girl who I had really hoped was more than just friendly, and had been getting closer to for months. Except... she maintained she didn't do "the R word", so any kind of relationship was officially off the cards.

    Well, suffice it to say, the minute I started walking home and cleared my head, I had one of those what the HELL were you just doing???? moments, and went straight off to find this friend, and asked her straight out whether anything was going to happen. I don't know if I was hoping her answer would be "no" at that point, but she called me a bastard for asking, but said she was flattered I trusted her enough to come to her and talk. Anyway, we got together slightly more officially (though never admited to the R word, ever) and the next day I had to go and find the girl I had unwittingly led on, and tell her that nothing could come of our attraction.

    And yes, I still feel guilty to this day.

    You may now throw rotten veg.

    1287019125
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 689
    • Joined: 15 Sep 2010

    PS Many years later, I still wonder if I made the right choice. Being so close to the "other woman" might have tempted me to stray in time, although of course I tell myself that I'd never go that far. But I still wonder.

    1287185292
    Sam66 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 220
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2009

    Yes I've cheated.

    Sometimes there is someone you meet who literally takes your breath away and even though you're not looking you both fall in love without meaning to or wanting to. It kind of takes a life of it's own.

    And falling love with a woman who is not your wife is, believe me, a special kind of hell.

    I am not trying to excuse what I've done - the pain I caused to my family (wife, parents, older son) was huge and awful and I felt a right shit ... which I was.

    We battled through that only for me to just after be hit by a very serious illness (resulting in me having to leave my job) My wife, wonderful as she is, is still here. and we're recovering.

    The other woman moved away but I miss her daily - but I know I shouldn't. We shared something more than sex.

    I used to be one who said 'No never'. And I meant it.

    Now I know that we are all weak human beings who make (big) mistakes but who can recover and try to make things right. I never judge anymore. I know how weak I am and so how weak other people can be. I cannot judge or condemn ...

    I hope you won't condemn me either.

    1287186319
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
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    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    That was a good post and I for one would never condemn anyone for what you explained.

    I think MM put it very well in a previous post about situations being very unique, And circumstances playing a big part.

    No one should ever judge something like this unless they have experienced either end themselves, And then, They have an informed opinion on the matter.

    1287189284
    jackador123 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 549
    • Joined: 3 Sep 2009

    No cheating here. Tut tut

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    Pinkilious [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 295
    • Joined: 9 Apr 2010

    i did once!

    • Are you still in a relationship?
    • Not with that person no but i am in a new one!
    • Was it while you were with him/her?
    • Yes it was while i was with my 1st bf :S
    • Does your current partner know?
    • No we haven't spoke about past stuff
    • How long has it been?
    • 6 yrs ago
    • Do/did you enjoy it?
    • I did at the time but i think that was cos we both wanted out of the relationship but we couldn't say as we had become good friends. So we went about it the completely wrong way and we both ended up cheating on each other on the same night only difference was i didn't tell him till after the relationship ended : (
    • So do you regret it?
    • No as we wanted out and i don't think either of us would have made the move until one of us had done something! We are fab friends now and catch up all the time so completely for the best : )
    1287264392
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
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    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    I have never and would never cheat. I have however slept with another woman while with my current other half. Some people would consider this cheating I'm sure but my OH knew about it and was happy for it to happen, for me that's the key. I basically define cheating as breaking mutually agreed sexual boundaries with others and as such I think cheating is wrong. However, while I think the act of cheating is bad, I don't think all people who cheat are bad. Some people cheat because they are callous and selfish but I don't think this is the whole story, people make mistakes - it's how you rectify them that's important. If someone repeatedly cheats and appologies - then I begin to doubt the sincerity of their appology, but if someone screws up and shows genuine remorse I think they deserve the benefit of the doubt.

    I've never been tempted to cheat, I don't find it hard to be faithful, if DD said he'd had a change of heart and would be more comfortable if I never kissed another woman I wouldn't struggle at all. Just because it's easy for me doesn't mean it's easy for everyone and I admire hugely the people for whom monogomy doesn't come easily but stick to it because they love someone enough to resist temptation. A friend told me once that she admired me for not being tempted to cheat and I pointed out that actuually it's not really something worth admiring: if I don't feel tempted, I'm showing no strength in "resisting"!

    xxKPxx

    1287265732
    Wicked Willy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 76
    • Joined: 24 Sep 2009

    I think it was Oscar Wilde who said he could resist everything except temptation. I have never cheated but then the opportunity has never arisen so I`m no better than anyone else.

    1287269532
    Sam66 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 220
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2009

    Thank you for your lack of condemnation ...

    Believe me cheating is not something I looked for.

    Marriage (monogamy) has always been a challenge for me but it is something worth striving for. I'm doing my best. Hopefully I won't fail again ... my wife is not THAT understanding and to lose her would be a catestrophe for me (and her).

    There are those of us who desperately want to be married and to fnd it easy to be be so but constantly struggle with it.

    That's me. But I'm going to keep doing my best not to fuck up again.

    And those of you who find being faithful easy ... you lucky, lucky people (and I mean that). You are the most fortunate of us all.

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    Ilovemyman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 614
    • Joined: 7 Dec 2009

    I have cheated, i was in a long term relationship, 2 years, he asked me to marry him i said no. He cheated on me with his ex. We stayed together, he regretted it said he would never do it again he caught warts from her anyway about 6 months later i bumped in to my ex my first love, i was still in love with him, we had a crappy one night stand, i wish it had never happened. The good thing was it made me 100% sure that i didn't love my partner. I went home told him what had happened the next day he said it didn't matter and we could work things out but i couldn't do it, i knew it was over.

    6 months later i met my Husband, and 3 months after that i was pregnant! 10 years on and we are still happy, i would never cheat on him. If i didn't love him i would leave!

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    If he's in a relationship, I think a certain member has been a naughty boy by emailing some members who are quite clearly in relationships. Try not to step on other people's boundaries ey?

    1287309480
    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 713
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2007

    i have never cheated on any of my boyfriends and i can hand on my heart and know i wouldnt either, i have to strong a view/opinion/what ever you want to call it on cheating to ever do it.

    Dxx

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