• OH nearly got kissed

    1284160393
    MrsKitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 79
    • Joined: 23 Aug 2010

    couldnt found anything on this my OH went out last night and got drunk he was chatting to lots of people one was a girl he was just being friendly she tried to come onto him and he said no she kept trying and he kept saying no i have a GF next thing he knows she goes to kiss him he does manage to get away from her i only know because he rang me when i was at work today to tell me saying how he feels really bad and he was sorry feels bad because he was chatting to her i keep saying to him dont worry you did the right thing thank you for telling me he came over tonight and gave me a big hug telling me how much he loves me and its made him relise how much more he loves me and only wants me now i know what your prob thinking he might be feeling guilty because he did kiss her but i know he wouldnt cheat he would dump me before he cheated on me because he's had a bad run of GF doing it to him but yeah anyway they point of me writing this is i was so angry how dare she touch my man noone can touch him but me i wanted to rip her head off

    have anyone had this happen to them someone just couldnt understand no mean no or has it happen to your OH how did you feel

    1284163269
    MrsKitty [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Colonel
    • Posts: 79
    • Joined: 23 Aug 2010

    wow i cant believe someone would do that well done but not hurting her people dress up on new year doesnt mean they want to be touched or pics taken i just cant believe someone people and how they act i just dont understand it

    yeah bless him love him to bits over three years now he will be moving in with me as soon as he has finished rebuilding his car he's been very sweet tonight all cuddly telling me he's happy and only wants me makes me smile hes alseep now still feels rough after last night his fault to much drink lol

    1284164521
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    I think predatory (notice how that word contains Tory? Knew they were evil Thatcherite bastards, anyway I digress) behaviour like that is unacceptable. People can find themselves in difficult situations but something that deliberate is no on.

    I think there is also a certain double standard. Men always think about sex, it's acceptable to do that to men. If I flashed a phone up a ladies skirt in a club I think I'd have a few meetings with some fists of the nearest menfolk/bouncers, when ladies do it it's a laugh 'parently.

    1284165235
    Malteser81 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 851
    • Joined: 2 Aug 2009

    Kitty...... its quite weird to read but the EXACT same thing happened to my OH when he was out a few weeks ago with work. Now as a group of people him and his friends hate to see others left out and gloomy so they welcome ppl in and try to have a great night. well this girl took rather a shine to him and tried to kiss him. As your OH did mine said he had a gf but she just wouldnt take no for an answer and well jumped him. He rang me that night and I know when he has something to say and told me all about it. U know it feels kind of good knowing this happens to other people and infact I love my man so much why wouldnt anyone else.

    I have to say I felt kind of strange as going by my past partners who cheated on me I cant help but be frightened that he will wake up and find someone better but I know how others can be and my realistic side tells me he loves me and would never hurt me. As with AA I wish I had been there and prob would have wanted to thump he one but hey.

    xxx

    1284188969
    Pinkilious [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 295
    • Joined: 9 Apr 2010

    This actually happened to my male friend who is married and the bloke actually did kiss his wife! He came to me for advice and i feel in this case it could have been both their faults (the other man and the wife) as she is really flirty and let her friends go home without her and she stayed talking to this man. Then he kissed her which she didn't pull away from but did say "no i can't" but this guy kept hastling her as he had his own agenda!

    My friend was distraught but has just put it down to a mistake as it is not worth ruining a good relationship over! I think this is a hard thing to do as you have to get over the betrayal, the hurt, the jealously and completely forgive and put it behind you. But if the relationship is worth saving then have ago!

    1284196170
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 994
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    Some people just don't know when or how to take NO for an answer!

    Same kind of thing has happened to me twice.

    When I was with 'K' we were in a club we frequented with our group of friends.

    This big bloke couldn't take his eyes off her, Then he started buying her drinks and a rose. Right in front of me Then the attempted kisses and groping started.

    He knew who I was but it didn't stop him trying it on loads of times, We both asked him politely to 'F' off, But he didn't listen. I very nearly got my head kicked in that night if it hadn't been for my cousins and brother who just turned up, - Think my mate called them as I never like turning to them for help.

    That was horrible.

    Then pretty much the same thing happened to 'J' but I wasnt out and it's kinda different as she isn't very assertive. She is trying to be now though as over the last few years she has had some very close calls that have severely threatened her safety and our relationship.

    Long story short on the latest. She was out with a so called friend of hers who I hate, Dont trust her at all as every time shes around, We have problems...

    Anyway, J had planned to go in town in the avo to do some banking then she sent me some texts saying she wanted to do some 'Things' with me ( Yeh, She was actually trying back then! ), Then next minute she calls me saying shes bumped into this girl, I knew what was coming...

    Every hour or so it was a case of '' Just a few more and I'll be home '', We ended up arguing and the next I heard was from the cop shop at midnight. I was panicking for hours as no-one knew where she was, when she was meant to be ome hours ago.

    She had been found in a street somewhere with no recolection of where she had been or who with. Really wasted and threatning to hurt herself.

    She now knows these 'so called friends' are from friends! I know who they are and they've been warned to stay away. Time will tell. Sometimes, After all the crap that's happened over the last few years, All the C'ts that have shit on us and our lives, I sometimes just feel like moving far away from here and starting fresh. But then my son and the rest of my family would suffer.

    Ooops, Didn't mean to go on there lol.

    That's another piece of me exposed!

    'P'

    1284196288
    Seduced [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 994
    • Joined: 15 Aug 2010

    * Far from friends even in last para.

    1284205285
    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 641
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2009

    WandA wrote:

    I think predatory (notice how that word contains Tory? Knew they were evil Thatcherite bastards, anyway I digress) behaviour like that is unacceptable. People can find themselves in difficult situations but something that deliberate is no on.

    I think there is also a certain double standard. Men always think about sex, it's acceptable to do that to men. If I flashed a phone up a ladies skirt in a club I think I'd have a few meetings with some fists of the nearest menfolk/bouncers, when ladies do it it's a laugh 'parently.

    Very good! If only I could think of an example demonstrating how Labour is a huge pain but once it's gone there is immense joy... ...oh, wait!

    Hey Kittyb4u - I think you've got hold of a good man. It's great that he told you what happened, it's great that he didn't give in to temptation and it's great that the situation has made him realise how much he loves you.

    Good news all round...

    1284205890
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    CurlyCoupleWife wrote:

    Hey Kittyb4u - I think you've got hold of a good man. It's great that he told you what happened, it's great that he didn't give in to temptation and it's great that the situation has made him realise how much he loves you.

    Good news all round...

    I totally agree with this!

    I've told the story on here before about the time WandA came to me all worried and upset because he thought he didn't love me any more...I laughed, told him he did, and if he didn't he wouldn't be so upset about it all! It was just at that stage of the relationship where things stop being "new" so he was worried. The fact that he told me has given us so much more strength because I know, if ever something went badly wrong between us, he'd tell me, no matter what!

    Take the postives from the situation and use it to make yourselves stronger

    Adx

    1284211477
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    CurlyCoupleWife wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    I think predatory (notice how that word contains Tory? Knew they were evil Thatcherite bastards, anyway I digress) behaviour like that is unacceptable. People can find themselves in difficult situations but something that deliberate is no on.

    I think there is also a certain double standard. Men always think about sex, it's acceptable to do that to men. If I flashed a phone up a ladies skirt in a club I think I'd have a few meetings with some fists of the nearest menfolk/bouncers, when ladies do it it's a laugh 'parently.

    Very good! If only I could think of an example demonstrating how Labour is a huge pain but once it's gone there is immense joy... ...oh, wait!

    Back at ya! Very good too! But at least I have a soul... Well, if we did potentially have souls then I would and you wouldn't Ner! Not my most convincing argument ever...

    1284212804
    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 641
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2009

    WandA wrote:

    CurlyCoupleWife wrote:

    WandA wrote:

    I think predatory (notice how that word contains Tory? Knew they were evil Thatcherite bastards, anyway I digress) behaviour like that is unacceptable. People can find themselves in difficult situations but something that deliberate is no on.

    I think there is also a certain double standard. Men always think about sex, it's acceptable to do that to men. If I flashed a phone up a ladies skirt in a club I think I'd have a few meetings with some fists of the nearest menfolk/bouncers, when ladies do it it's a laugh 'parently.

    Very good! If only I could think of an example demonstrating how Labour is a huge pain but once it's gone there is immense joy... ...oh, wait!

    Back at ya! Very good too! But at least I have a soul... Well, if we did potentially have souls then I would and you wouldn't Ner! Not my most convincing argument ever...

    no soul = no soul to be damned = hurrah!

    Back on thread: I think you have a real point about the gender-divide. If a man forced his advances upon a woman with the same intensity I feel the retribution would be far more severe. I feel bad for men - you get the raw end of the deal a lot.

    kittyb4u's fear that we would judge her OH as the guilty party is probably a reflection of this divide

    1284214426
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    CurlyCoupleWife wrote:

    Back on thread: I think you have a real point about the gender-divide. If a man forced his advances upon a woman with the same intensity I feel the retribution would be far more severe. I feel bad for men - you get the raw end of the deal a lot.

    kittyb4u's fear that we would judge her OH as the guilty party is probably a reflection of this divide

    It's not so much a problem with getting the raw end a lot, I think women have it worse (at least globally, in the West I think it's debatable), what gets me is that there isn't recognition of men's problems and they are generally seen as trivial issues.

    I think the example you give is a very good one.

    1284221402
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    I haven't been in your situation Kb4u but if the scenario you described happened to me I would probably laugh, be chuffed my OH told me about it and think "what twerp" about the woman.

    Unfortunately there are a fair few crazy people in the world that behave like this woman did because they are: a) so selfish they don't care about the consequences of their actions, b) too stupid to think of the possible consequences or c) they are just cruel and enjoy causing trouble. Annoyingly others will sometimes respond to the advances of these trouble-makers which feeds their egos and rewards/validates their behaviour so they keep doing it. Secure, honest and faithful people like your boyfriend make these predatory folks' lives very difficult indeed because they rely on deceit and discord.

    When I've encountered men and women who behave this way they often give bullshit excuses like "well I don't believe in monogomy" and "it's not my fault or my problem that he/she is married." I think: if you know someone is in a (non-open) relationship you are morally responsible for not acting in a way that jeopardises that relationship. I am in a relationship where I am allowed to sleep with other women but that doesn't mean I think everyone should be. I don't feel entitled to stick my tongue down the throat of a married woman just because it's ok with my partner. I would never intentionally hurt anyone so I respect whatever boundaries are acceptable to individuals/couples. E.g. for some of my coupled up friends this means I can snog them silly but for other it means nothing but very brief hugs.

    In terms of being on the recieving end of unwanted advances: it's happened a few times and always tell my partner about it. Mostly I'm just telling him annecdotes of my day but there's an element of reassurance in sharing: he then knows I'm open about stuff.

    Kb4u, I think you should take from this experience the awesome news that your partner is: hot (because he attracted someone else's attention), faithful (because he turned her down), honest (because he told you about it), caring (because he was worried about your feelings) and secure (because he told you inspite of that worry!).

    xxKPxx

    1284221585
    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 641
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2009

    I love the post KP, particularly the last paragraph. Very balanced & eloquent

    x

    Thread closed

    This thread is closed, so no new messages can be posted.