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  1. Prizes for Guys and Gals

    1283965852
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    CurlyCoupleWife wrote:

    mind bleach please

    I'd also like one of those cocktails please.

    (Must invent a cocktail with that name, heavy on vodka and citrus flavours)

    1283966070
    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 641
    • Joined: 14 Aug 2009

    ha ha! Vodka & lemon juice - making you pull these facial expressions:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7yHejN1korE&feature=related

    1283966284
    sexycornishcouple [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major
    • Posts: 56
    • Joined: 6 Dec 2008

    An English man, a welsh man and Indian man are waiting in the delivery room to collect their new born children. the nurse comes out iam sorry gentlemen theres been a mix up we dont who is who? the Englishman stands up and says i will know my child when i see him and he walks in to the ward! 10 mins later he walks ok holding the Indians baby. the Indian stops him what you think you are doing this is my child?

    The Englishman looks him in the eyes and says look mate 1of those kids is welsh and iam not taking any chances

    bullet please

    1283968858
    lovetowank [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 45
    • Joined: 25 Apr 2009

    Competition Entry - sleeve

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    How To Shower Like a Man


    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.


    I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

    1283985746
    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1173
    • Joined: 11 Jun 2009

    lovetowank wrote:

    Competition Entry - sleeve

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Rubbish! Mine is so much closer to the man's one than the woman's one. In fact, replace the willy bits with boobs, and you're almost there

    1284080111
    chipNroll [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 257
    • Joined: 3 Aug 2010

    COMPETITION ENTRY (bullet)

    The following website deserves to be my entry, for making fun of that dastardly facebook (*shakes fist at facebook*):

    http://www.lamebook.com/

    many lols to be had here:)

    1284116074
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    COMPETITON ENTRY

    Either bullet or sleeve

    On the off chance that the LH staff are cat lovers and haven't seen this yet....I present to you:

    http://www.simonscat.com/thebox.html

    Hehe... He's a B3ta I think!

    1284129380
    Lovehoney - Alice [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1327
    • Joined: 19 Jul 2010

    Get 'em in quick!

    1284130174
    Everis [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 28
    • Joined: 25 Mar 2010

    Copetition entry - bullet

    One of my favourite exam answers :

    http://www.richardpettinger.com/economics/funny_exam_answers

    1284130213
    Equis [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 4
    • Joined: 22 Jul 2010

    COMPETITION ENTRY

    http://www.kontraband.com/pics/23988/Troll-Jesus/

    Lolz!!

    Eq

    1284130356
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1265
    • Joined: 22 Aug 2009

    Ecksvie wrote:

    lovetowank wrote:

    Competition Entry - sleeve

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Rubbish! Mine is so much closer to the man's one than the woman's one. In fact, replace the willy bits with boobs, and you're almost there

    Agreed lol! If I walk past my OH en route to the bathroom I generally jiggle at and/or rub my boobs on him!

    xxKPxx

    1284130803

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2373
    • Joined: 30 Oct 2008

    lovetowank wrote:

    Competition Entry - sleeve

    How To Shower Like a Woman

    Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to lights and darks.

    Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

    Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

    Get in the shower.

    Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

    Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

    Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

    Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

    Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

    Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

    Rinse conditioner off hair.

    Shave armpits and legs.

    Turn off shower.

    Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

    Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

    Get out of shower.

    Dry with towel the size of a small country.

    Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

    Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

    If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.


    How To Shower Like a Man


    Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

    Walk naked to the bathroom.

    If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo' sound.

    Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

    Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

    Get in the shower.

    Wash your face.

    Wash your armpits.

    Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

    Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

    Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

    Wash your bum, leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.

    Wash your hair.

    Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

    Wee.

    Rinse off and get out of shower.

    Partially dry off.

    Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath the whole time.

    Admire willy size in mirror again.

    Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

    Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

    If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo' sound again.

    Throw wet towel on bed.


    I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING CAUSE MOST OF IT'S TRUE!!!!!!

    he you are so right about the blokes tho

    1284131574
    Lovehoney - Alice [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 1327
    • Joined: 19 Jul 2010

    Thank you for all the entires - a great excuse to watch youtube videos, read cartoons and generally giggle like a loon in the office with it all still being 'work'

    Winners...

    Sleeve: jackador123 with the "wait for it... wait for it..." Inception Cat video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLDSE7RHvno.

    Bullet: Everis with the smarty-pants exam answer http://www.richardpettinger.com/economics/funny_exam_answers.

    I'll send out your goodies today!

    1284132149
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    Well done winners!

    1284132191
    Everis [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 28
    • Joined: 25 Mar 2010

    Oh wow thanks - I never usually win things!

    1284135308
    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 759
    • Joined: 19 Jan 2007

    Gratz to you both! Xxx

    1284136346

    [suspended user]

    suspended user
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 2373
    • Joined: 30 Oct 2008

    what did you win guys?

    1284136527
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6178
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    lickmadick wrote:

    what did you win guys?

    On 1st page and previous page.

    1284145215
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1827
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    COMPETITION ENTRY BULLET PLEASE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4cgqiolkkE

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tklx3j7kgJY

    1284145333
    sweetlove666 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 1827
    • Joined: 17 Nov 2008

    opps congrats to the winners. thats what i get for not checking the date today!

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