• thin line between love and hate?

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    didn't mean to repeat

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    hey life can be shit so just flush it away start afresh with some nice thoughts about yourself's maybe you'll laugh at it later and think wtf was that all about

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    oh well some people just can't help themselves so they are bst left to their own voice they soon get bored when no one answer back best left alone

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    KittyPurry wrote:

    Starlight* wrote:

    Perhaps for people in a fiery relationship, the make up sex is SO worth it? xx

    See this is something the people in these relationships will often say. I find it a bit suspect tbh! I'd much rather just save the time fighting and spend the time having more sex! Just because I have a non-shouty relationship doesn't mean sex can't be rough either - we play flight, I get pinned and whipped and fucked...I don't think adding real anger to the sex would make it better at all!

    In the past I've been accused of having a "boring" relationship by comparison with these very dramatic ones ... personally I can't think of anything more boring than constant arguing! I'll take close friendship and wild sex over unkindness and insults any day!

    I do think there's something quite sinister about the propaganda about "passionate" relationships: I wonder if it's a way of romanticising a very unhappy situation in order to accept and cope with it. "It's ok that we say these dreadful things to each other - we're just showing how intesely we feel." Or even more frighteningly "it's ok that he hits me, it shows he cares enough to be jealous." At best I think these relationships would be annoying (bickering etc) but at worst I think they're terrifyingly destructive.

    xxKPxx

    Exactly! Why should people need to argue and then make up in order to have sex? I would much rather have sex twice, instead of spending my time arguing, and having make up sex once... xxx

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    it takes more energy to say no then agreeing and enjoying so yep go for it

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    Starlight* [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    KittyPurry wrote:

    Absolutely horrifying! I find it it completely baffling when people try and say there must be something wrong with mine and DD's relationship because we don't fight. Pain and suffering isn't something to aspire to, there's plenty of tragedy about without seeking it in your relationship too!

    xxKPxx

    I had a friend, a lovely bloke, charming and a real gentleman....his girlfriend split up with him because he was too nice and never shouted at her.

    People think it's normal, that's what's scary!

    Adx

    Oh my goodness, I've been having this conversation with a girl at work about this all week long. She has just gotten out of a 3 year relationship with a man who was awful to her 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Aside from the constant cheating, the way he treated her was disgraceful. I'm talking about calling her all the names under the sun, and making her feel really, really bad about herself. They both ended the relationship recently, and since, she has been seeing a new guy. Said new guy is lovely: he treats her like a princess, showers her with gifts, and treats her like she is the only woman in the world. BUT... my friend is thinking about ending what they have because he is 'too nice'. Seriously, after how awfully she was treated before, she is now thinking about ending their relationship because he always pays for meals, always offers her back massages, always calls her princess/darling/sweetheart, and in 3 weeks, they haven't had one argument. Seriously....

    Is there ever such a thing as too nice???

    My boyfriend is an absolute darling, and everybody who has met him knows he doesn't have a bad bone in his body. He is a true gentleman, he worships me, and in almost 4 years, he has never sworn at me, called me names (even mild ones such as 'idiot') or shouted/screamed at me. Of course, like you Alicia, we have, shall we call them 'heated debates', but this is a completely different thing from the whole 'firey' element to a relationship. I cannot honestly think of one bad thing about him, and I feel absoluely content with him, so I do not understand people who complain about their partners being too nice? Surely it is everybody's dream to be treated like a prince or princess?

    xx

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    Starlight* [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Oh, but make up sex is great!!

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/sex-talk/178360-make-up-or-wake-up-which-is-better/

    I don't need to argue with my partner to have great sex.. x

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Ah, we are on the road to recovery now, like I said, I threatened to leave him a little while ago and everything has been peachy since! Hopefully it will stay that way the best it can.

    But we do have a bit of a clash on certain things. He comes from a line of military men who are all very pro-racists.. He isn't racist, but it shines through when it comes to muslims being terrorists and all that.. I try to tell him that not all muslims are terrorists, nor are all terrorists muslims, but he seems to react quite strongly. Just the way he was brought up and what he was used to hearing from his family I guess. Nothing compared to one of his uncles though. I actually have to leave the house when he comes round cuz he is just so ... whats the word... racist?

    My dad has a mate like this. Complete dickhead. You don't really know how to respond because he's finw with me... I usually start telling him he's wrong and he's been reading the Daily Mail too much. Most annoying part is he's from NZ, the foreign bastard!

    Taking all this in to account I can definitely say love and hate are at polar ends of the spectrum!

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    sweetcherry24 [sign in to see picture]
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    This may sound corny, but ive yet to properly argue with my OH, our realationship is very loving and very passionate. we do disagree but we always are laughing about it. and to me laughing your way into bed is better than arguing.

    I have in the past been in fiery passionate realtionships. and im glad i got out when i did. arguing really badly anf fighting and throwing plates, where both are upset and then you jump into bed and have ok sex.

    not for me.

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    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    me and my partner argue but not in a destructive way like some people you all have mentioned

    i am the type of person who when i get mad i want to shout and i would hate it if i was with someone who would rather leave it be, it would drive me crazy!

    i think love and hate are miles apart, i could never hate my partner

    VW x

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    I've got to hold my hands up here and say I do have quite a temper. Especially when sometimes i'll just want to be left alone and he'll wind me up (but in his own odd little world he thinks he's cheering me up) and eventually i'll just lose it and I have shouted and screamed at him in the past.

    I would never be violent though and neither would he. The explosive relationship is the type my sister usually gets herself into and we've had the police round on numerous occasions for various bf reasons - I could never be in a relationship like that and will never understand why she lets it get to that point and sometimes beyond.

    xx

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    DesignDude [sign in to see picture]
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    i think there is such a thing as a bloke being "too nice"! i used to know a bunch of girls that complained about guys that didn't argue with them!

    i think the problem can be explained with what i call "the twat effect"! 9 out of 10 times you'll see someone you can easily identify as a complete twat with a lovely girl hanging off his arm (or on the other end of his fist...) desperate to please him! It seems that treating a girl in a way that makes them feel less desireable to you will make them try harder to please you and want to be good enough for you!

    i think the moment a guy starts being "too nice" (respectful, giving, understand etc) and shows the girl some attention she soon starts thinking she's too good for that particular guy! If a guy isn't willing to shout at her and put her in her place then he's obviously not the Alpha male and she needs to find someone that can dominate her and make her feel like crap! people people always seem to want what they can't have!

    i dunno, maybe it's all down to our primitive caveman brains but i think it's all bonkers!

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    toxycat [sign in to see picture]
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    iv experienced both kinds of relationships.........very passionate, volitile, constantly argueing almost abusive..............and then on the other hand im currently in a marriage where i am lucky to say we barely ever raise a voice to each other...........and i know which one i prefer!!

    I think the first one i mentioned i put it down to me being quite young and just head over heels........and well him just being alot older and completely wild....he was cheating on me as well............i knew it but found it hard to deal with.......plus he used to change into a very violant person when he had had a drink................so arguements were awful....................thankfully i finally saw the light.....and promtly dumped the bastard.............

    I hated him....but loved him....knew he was wrong for me.......but couldnt let go...................so yeah totally agree.........there is a very thin line between love and hate.........................

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