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  1. Flexisexuals...

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    Hannah [sign in to see picture]
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    Hello OA!!

    Hope you're all well!

    Just doing a bit of research into flexisexuals... people who refuse to put labels on their sexuality - not straight, not lesbian and shunning the bi-sexual tag, believing that it's the person, not the gender, that you fall in love with.

    Would anyone here consider themselves flexisexual? Or do you have any thoughts on people that do?

    Look forward to hearing your views! Thanks xxx

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    littlepixi [sign in to see picture]
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    hey i probibly would call my self one cos i do like girls and guys buti wouldnt say i could have a relationship with a woman just yet. to put it simple im not 100% streight but i refuse the word bi because its used as just a tag the school kids use to be cool and i hate it. xxx

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    DrtyBoy [sign in to see picture]
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    Interesting post. I am straight but have always wondered what it would be like...not necessarily to be in a relationship with a man as i dont have any interest in that, but simply to see what it would be like to have anal sex with one to see what its like. It may be my penchant for anal toys that makes me want to try the "real thing" and perhaps the fact i am comfortable with my sexuality to want to try it?

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    Doug [sign in to see picture]
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    I have a friend who is 100% like that, but would proberbly hate the fact that it now has a lable. Personaly I feel that I could only be in a relationship with a girl, but will still sleep with guys, (i think this was in another thread) could be said that i have a fetish for men?

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    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
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    Ah so that is the name tag - flexisexual. I would definitely say I am flexisexual. It has always been individual people that have drawn me to them - I never really thought along the way 'I fancy a girl' or 'I fancy a boy'. Not meaning to sound ridiculous but I feel like I'm drawn to that person's soul x

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I'm straight but can really sympathise with the statement.

    It's not straight people find every man or women sexually attractive, there is something missing. I guess it's the same for other '(insert here)sexuals'. Men don't offer me the emotional or physical attributes I want in a partner which I imagine is similar to these 'flexis' not finding what they want in certain people.

    I'm already rambling so I shall shut up!

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Welcome to the team Hannah! x

    Doug has raised a good point though. The people who don't want to be labelled are now labelled.

    I consider myself bisexual, I don't have a problem with that, and I can find it just as easy to fall in love with a woman as it is to fall in love with a man. At the moment I'm in love with a man.

    When I was at school, the bi tag only really came into light when I was in sixth form when it became "cool" to be bi and "everyone was bi". Now a few years on I see a couple of girls in my old school uniform kissing at the bus stop and I think, "Hey! Good for them, they aren't afraid of being shunned by society" But then I remember that it is actually acceptable in schools these days for some reason. Think it co-insides the emo thing, or they all watch too much hollyokes.

    Ha!

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    Doug [sign in to see picture]
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    ok having been at an all boys school all my life till the last 2 years, definatly haven't experianced the whole "Bi is cool" when did that turn up?

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    Awesome thread

    I think I'd fall into the flexisexual category. I've only ever been attracted to one man, DD, and we've been together for many years however I've have been (and continue to be) attracted to plenty of women. Does that make me straight, bi or gay? I don't think any of these labels really work for me at all.

    Interestingly a few gay friends have recently mentioned that my having a boyfriend surprised them because they all assumed I was gay when they met me - might not be great science but I'm apparently showing up as "lesbian" on gaydar!

    It does annoy me when people try to tell me "you're bisexual" because that just doesn't feel right, I don't think it reflects the truth of my sexuality very well at all. As a crude approximation on forms and when I can't be bothered to explain myself, I make do with "bi" but it's not that accurate really.

    When I first met DD I thought he was really good looking but beyond his obvious physical hotness I remember sensing something else, an emotional and interlectual depth and intensity that I found powerfully sexual. It's very hard to explain, it wasn't love at first sight (I think love requires more emotional connection than that) but there was definately something there that I've never felt for anyone else before or since.

    I love DD entirely and his gender isn't actually all that important to me, I love him as person not as a man specifically. I do think his being a guy and me being tomboyish is helpful to the relationship because it means we have lots in common and we communicate really well.

    xxKPxx

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    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
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    Hmm, in the past I have referred to myself as bi as a way to describe myself because it seems people only understand labels. I suppose the term 'flexisexual' could apply to me aswell, as I do firmly believe it is the person we fall in love with regardless of gender. x

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    Doug [sign in to see picture]
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    ah well was pre teens then (just) so that would explain why

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Doug wrote:

    ok having been at an all boys school all my life till the last 2 years, definatly haven't experianced the whole "Bi is cool" when did that turn up?

    About 6-7 years ago? It certainly turned up around here..

    Probably the same time every femle celeb starting snogging another female celeb...

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    DrtyBoy [sign in to see picture]
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    *suddenly fees VERY old at 31*!

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    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    I think it happened when girls twigged that they could get more male attention by pretending to be gay. This was and continues to be a source of enormous annoyance and confusion for me. Annoying because it's offensive to my sexuality and because I friggin' HATE attention seekers and confusing because if a gorgeous friend is publically humping my leg it's sometimes difficult to say no!

    xxKPxx

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    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    Doug wrote:

    ok having been at an all boys school all my life till the last 2 years, definatly haven't experianced the whole "Bi is cool" when did that turn up?

    About 10 years ago, well >5 <10

    And yes, definitely associated with the rise of the 'alternative' crowd which certainly up here was very odd and seems to have divided those goths/ emos and whatevers into cool ones and outcasts again. Or perhaps genuine and imitation? I was that shy girl that doesn't really do conversation and school based socialisation well, quiet, and sort of floated with the majority goth sub-section, by 3rd year (or 2003) it was definitely cool to be bi, even those that weren't tended to at least be curious and try it out and/ or say they were. Oddly enough it was far less cool, popular and accepted to be straight or gay for a few years (age, not time), and certainly at university there's a massive sexual acceptance. For some bizarre reason this change also coincided with huge numbers of them turning to paganism and in several cases joining covens (many interesting conversations with a girl in my English class:) and no I'm not suggesting that this is directly linked at all, merely noting that there was a similar embracing of the previously uncommon.

    Personally I find it immensely amusing that the group specifically avoiding labelling themselves also have a label :)

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    I think it happened when girls twigged that they could get more male attention by pretending to be gay. This was and continues to be a source of enormous annoyance and confusion for me. Annoying because it's offensive to my sexuality and because I friggin' HATE attention seekers and confusing because if a gorgeous friend is publically humping my leg it's sometimes difficult to say no!

    xxKPxx

    Thank you KP. Now I don't feel homophobic for thinking they were all bellends.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Rowan wrote:

    Personally I find it immensely amusing that the group specifically avoiding labelling themselves also have a label :)

    It pee'd me off pretending to be social outcasts, by errr... joining the quickest growing social group of teenagers. That will show middle class mum!

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    Rowan [sign in to see picture]
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    To be fair they are the social class most likely to be able to afford the uniform

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    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    I think it happened when girls twigged that they could get more male attention by pretending to be gay. This was and continues to be a source of enormous annoyance and confusion for me. Annoying because it's offensive to my sexuality and because I friggin' HATE attention seekers and confusing because if a gorgeous friend is publically humping my leg it's sometimes difficult to say no!

    xxKPxx

    That's actually one of the reasons I've steered clear of saying I'm outright bi. I only look for men for relationships, but can be turned on by and more than happy to slep with men or women. I've heard the term 'heteroflexible' and I think i like that best, since I am more hetero than gay/bi, but I'm not stuck in that box by any stretch.

    And the amount of times I'd be in a gay bar, flirting, dancing, kissing, touching some sexy lady, and then as I suggest leaving, she blurts out that she was only messing about to try and impress random-bloke-in-the-corner! Cheers, I don't feel used at all! Although, it did give me my favourite revenge-story once, where after said faker-gal had wandered over to her guy of choice, I was outside smoking and bitching to the bouncer about it. He asked me which one, I pointed her out, finished my smoke and went back inside. Bouncer fella marched in, up to the chick, and proclaimed very loudly that she had given him something the other night. Bloke snuck off, she left alone and red faced, and I just about wet myself.

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    telemachus [sign in to see picture]
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    Isn't this being pansexual?

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