• How Long Does Love Take...

    1280999586
    diamonds [sign in to see picture]
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    I thought I loved my ex but now being with my OH I can tell it really wasn't love at all cos what me and my OH is real love.

    My love for my OH has grown and deepend and keeps on growining and deepening the longer we've been together.

    I can't describe love, it's a feeling deep inside you coming from your heart and soul you can't describe it but you can feel it to the roots of your core.

    Me and my OH have been together for over 2 years now and our love has grown from a liking and caring, to deep liking and caring to loving and then going on and on to what we have now. And it is always growing and becoming more.

    I think love deepens the longer you are with the right person untill it's the strongest thing in the world.

    To answear the title I think love buds from your first few dates, as in you liking and caring starts and then it all just goes on growing right through your relationship.

    Dxx

    1281008664
    toxycat [sign in to see picture]
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    You know when they say you meet someone.......and you kiss them for the first time....and well.....something just happens between you that you both are aware of.....well that happened to me and my otherhalf.......it was an instant...head in the clouds.....sick in the stomach ...swiry hedonism feeling.....that kiss.......i have never expereinced a feeling like that before with anyone....and never will again.....its like that moment...everything just fell into place......id met my soulmate...(deep i know for a Thursday morning)

    The crazy thing is.....i was working abroad at the time.......he was a holiday maker....so we were literally together for only 2 weeks......he went home....(which killed me!!)...he then came back out literally only a few weeks later.....and on just the third night there...told me he loved me...and proposed to me......................and i said yes.

    Sound absolutely crazy doesnt it.......and yes it was......but i didnt hesitate......we hardly knew each other really......but what we both knew was this was the person i wanted to be with...............the outcome.......we were married 2 years later........and will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary mext year!!

    1281010716
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
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    toxycat wrote:

    You know when they say you meet someone.......and you kiss them for the first time....and well.....something just happens between you that you both are aware of.....well that happened to me and my otherhalf.......it was an instant...head in the clouds.....sick in the stomach ...swiry hedonism feeling.....that kiss.......i have never expereinced a feeling like that before with anyone....and never will again.....its like that moment...everything just fell into place......id met my soulmate...(deep i know for a Thursday morning)

    The crazy thing is.....i was working abroad at the time.......he was a holiday maker....so we were literally together for only 2 weeks......he went home....(which killed me!!)...he then came back out literally only a few weeks later.....and on just the third night there...told me he loved me...and proposed to me......................and i said yes.

    Sound absolutely crazy doesnt it.......and yes it was......but i didnt hesitate......we hardly knew each other really......but what we both knew was this was the person i wanted to be with...............the outcome.......we were married 2 years later........and will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary mext year!!

    Aw thats so romantic toxy!

    Love is such a strange thing. It sounds wierd but ive only been with my OH for about 4 months but she is absolutely perfect for me. I am so in love with her its crazy! I thought i was in love with my ex who i was with nearly 4 years but even though ive known my OH just a fraction of the time shes reached a place inside of me thats never been touched before....(dont mean that in a sexual way!!! Lol!). Of course the sex is great etc but thats always the way when you're with someone new...well mostly i think? Its how she makes me feel when theres nothing sexual going on, that makes it even more special.

    1281011190
    toxycat [sign in to see picture]
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    merry cherry wrote:

    toxycat wrote:

    You know when they say you meet someone.......and you kiss them for the first time....and well.....something just happens between you that you both are aware of.....well that happened to me and my otherhalf.......it was an instant...head in the clouds.....sick in the stomach ...swiry hedonism feeling.....that kiss.......i have never expereinced a feeling like that before with anyone....and never will again.....its like that moment...everything just fell into place......id met my soulmate...(deep i know for a Thursday morning)

    The crazy thing is.....i was working abroad at the time.......he was a holiday maker....so we were literally together for only 2 weeks......he went home....(which killed me!!)...he then came back out literally only a few weeks later.....and on just the third night there...told me he loved me...and proposed to me......................and i said yes.

    Sound absolutely crazy doesnt it.......and yes it was......but i didnt hesitate......we hardly knew each other really......but what we both knew was this was the person i wanted to be with...............the outcome.......we were married 2 years later........and will be celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary mext year!!

    Aw thats so romantic toxy!

    Love is such a strange thing. It sounds wierd but ive only been with my OH for about 4 months but she is absolutely perfect for me. I am so in love with her its crazy! I thought i was in love with my ex who i was with nearly 4 years but even though ive known my OH just a fraction of the time shes reached a place inside of me thats never been touched before....(dont mean that in a sexual way!!! Lol!). Of course the sex is great etc but thats always the way when you're with someone new...well mostly i think? Its how she makes me feel when theres nothing sexual going on, that makes it even more special.

    It is weird but you just know.........people said i was mental to think i was in love with him that quick.....but it felt just so right........its hard to explain unless you have been there or felt it!!!

    Your relatiosnhip sounds lovely MC........sounds like your one very lucky girlie!!!!

    1281380941
    wettongues [sign in to see picture]
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    First post, please be gentle.

    I'm in a bit of a funny position. In May I came out of a 9 year relationship, that had become very abusive. So I wasn't really looking for what I have now, but seem to have found it anyway. lol.

    I started internet dating, expecting a bit of fun and to build my confidence, had a few meets, but nothing really clicked, then I met my BF, and everything kind of clicked into place.

    1) he has lead me to realise that my previous relationship was not what I had thought it was, it certainly wasn't love. Love comes from trust, mutual respect, BF has taught me that in such a short amount of time.

    2) That love isn't saying those three words, it is about so much more than that. Ex was constantly saying it, but his actions never equated. Where as I know I wouldn't need my BF to say the words, because his actions speak volumes.

    3)Chemistry/compatability, yep definately think that there needs to be that initial chemistry. I don't know what it was about BF, but he just put me completely at easy and I felt like a teenager on our first date. He is the first bloke I have let buy me anything on a date, I don't know what it is about him, but he can look into my eyes and know I am worrying over something, and its lovely to know that he wants to know what is going on, I am learning to share, but its difficult after so long bottling up things.now I am in lust,as well as love and completely horny whenever I think of him.

    4)Communication, he is definately better at this than I am. But I am learning quickly.

    1281385930
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    I agree with HS, wettongues. You seem to have hit the nail on the head!

    Especially about actions meaning more that words!

    Welcome!

    Adx

    1281387881
    KittyPurry [sign in to see picture]
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    I definately think actions speak louder than words but to me the words are a big deal too. It took me a long time to be able to say it to DD and we also have a special code way of saying it that means even more to me than "I love you" because it's unique to us!

    xxKPxx

    1281390210
    prettyblueeyes [sign in to see picture]
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    I have been with my partner 4 years and i have done so much for him and his son that many other women prob wouldnt do.... i hae been with him since i was 16 yrs so i had to grow up fast..... we now live together like we have for the past 2 years........ but how do u know if someone really does love you but never actually physically toled u because of past experiences??????

    1281390668
    telemachus [sign in to see picture]
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    Well I suppose you take your answer from their actions. Their real actions, not what you read into their actions. Your post is a little ambiguous which makes it tricky to answer your question properly. In normal circumstance though, you can tell if someone loves you by taking note of how they treat you. If someone takes you for grantes, takes advantage of you, treats you badly and hurts you, then they probably don't love you. Those are not the actions of a loving person. If they look after you, are affectionate with you, treat you well, think about you when executing actions, then they might love you - but it can be hard to tell, which is generally where the words come in.

    1281395567
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Generally speaking, I know WandA loves me, because he will do little things that make me happy - 1) he's noticed they make me happy, 2) he's actively decided to do them, 3) often it'd be easier not to do them but he likes to see me happy

    WandA is the type of person who will only go out of his way for people he cares about though so that does make him easier to read :)

    Adx

    1281396092
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    Generally speaking, I know WandA loves me, because he will do little things that make me happy - 1) he's noticed they make me happy, 2) he's actively decided to do them, 3) often it'd be easier not to do them but he likes to see me happy

    WandA is the type of person who will only go out of his way for people he cares about though so that does make him easier to read :)

    Adx

    But I care about all the people in the world!

    1281396341
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Alicia D'amore wrote:

    Generally speaking, I know WandA loves me, because he will do little things that make me happy - 1) he's noticed they make me happy, 2) he's actively decided to do them, 3) often it'd be easier not to do them but he likes to see me happy

    WandA is the type of person who will only go out of his way for people he cares about though so that does make him easier to read :)

    Adx

    But I care about all the people in the world!

    That's why I used the word cares - you don't have to personally know a person to care for them, but you do have to care for them to go out of your way for them? Does that make sense, I wasn't saying you don't care about anyone! :S

    Adx

    1299434885
    occhiverdi [sign in to see picture]
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    KittyPurry wrote:

    I definately think actions speak louder than words but to me the words are a big deal too. It took me a long time to be able to say it to DD and we also have a special code way of saying it that means even more to me than "I love you" because it's unique to us!

    xxKPxx

    Reviving an old thread but found it when I was looking for something else and thought i'd add my opinion...

    Actions do speak louder than words. (im not the most wordy person to be honest).. I learned this very slowly but have realised in the last few years that in the past when I thought I was in love that I was actually not.... its only taken time and from being very happy now that I realised that previous relationships fizzled out before I opened my eyes and saw it.

    that being said all these stories are cute.... :D

    1299440268
    Ecksvie [sign in to see picture]
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    There was a while where I hated my OH back at the beginning. As time went on we became friends, and it was six years between the initial meeting and when we actually got together.

    Looking back on it now, I think I loved my OH long before we got together, although it wasn't a romantic kind of love like it is now.

    1299453596
    GHxx [sign in to see picture]
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    I know I love my Boyfriend and I've known for about 2 months - we've been together 7 months now but he told me he could never love anybody else on new years eve and it's stuck in my mind. we argued about it and I pretty much said whats the point being in a relationship if there's not future. he replied you can help who you fall in love with i guess...

    he's been badly hurt in the past and relates love to anger and hurt so i understand its hard to over-come but I've been wanting to tell him I love him for a while but I don't want him to freak out on me cos what we have at the minute is beyond what i ever thought we could have, i'm so happy things are perfect I don't want to ruin anything...

    what do you guys think??

    I'm stuck, I love to be loved and i love to love, i'm a softy really!!

    xGHx

    1299461368
    Mr Monster [sign in to see picture]
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    GHxx wrote:

    he told me he could never love anybody else on new years eve and it's stuck in my mind.

    he's been badly hurt in the past and relates love to anger and hurt so i understand its hard to over-come

    GH, I think I've been where he is, and it's true - to this day I doubt my ability (or willingness) to love to any great extent. Although I have told my OH this, I'm not sure whether it fully sank in at the time. I am definitely getting better at allowing myself to love her, but I know it's not a patch on what I've felt in the past. But then that was a hideous, painful disappointment, so maybe it's good that this feels different.

    1299496668
    GHxx [sign in to see picture]
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    Mr Monster wrote:

    GHxx wrote:

    he told me he could never love anybody else on new years eve and it's stuck in my mind.

    he's been badly hurt in the past and relates love to anger and hurt so i understand its hard to over-come

    GH, I think I've been where he is, and it's true - to this day I doubt my ability (or willingness) to love to any great extent. Although I have told my OH this, I'm not sure whether it fully sank in at the time. I am definitely getting better at allowing myself to love her, but I know it's not a patch on what I've felt in the past. But then that was a hideous, painful disappointment, so maybe it's good that this feels different.

    I understand it's hard to move on and try to let somebody in, if your past is stopping you. In a way I'm glad he let me know how he feels but I couldn't help feeling upset and a bit like well thats nice, maybe its just me you cant see loving and I'm not right for you.

    But what we have is great and I cant complain about anything, I want to tell him I love him cos I think it'd make him happy but then part of me thinks he'll go funny on me and be like thanks but you know I told you i cant love again

    oh no idea what to do.... probably just like he feels at the minute, yes his past was a dark place but surely he sees something in me to be with me... maybe i dont need to say the words but part of me really really wants to like im holding it in!

    love eh? i thought it was simple, i'm starting to realise different hehe

    xGHx

    1299498021

    [suspended user]

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    oh well Ghx time will tell i was suspicious of my wife (now of 34years) beacause my last partner was a bitch to me and i wasn't sure for a while.i messed around with 3 women at once to find a solution happily i picked the right one and it has worked .So hang in there girl if you really love him it'llhopefully sink in and all will be well fingers x

    1299498360
    GHxx [sign in to see picture]
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    lickmadick wrote:

    oh well Ghx time will tell i was suspicious of my wife (now of 34years) beacause my last partner was a bitch to me and i wasn't sure for a while.i messed around with 3 women at once to find a solution happily i picked the right one and it has worked .So hang in there girl if you really love him it'llhopefully sink in and all will be well fingers x

    Thanks!!

    I hope so...

    1300200415
    Vampyrewillow [sign in to see picture]
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    I am still in love with my ex boyfriend. we broke up just over a month ago and i'm still in the in love please come back phase,

    i don't know if he still loves me, when we broke up he told me he still loves me, he just wanted to be single...

    bit confusing tbh and we haven't spoken about anything other than practical things since.

    i just re-read this whole thread and seen my post on the second page and it made me really sad because i seem so happy with him then!

    and tbh i was so happy with him up until 3 days before we broke up, we had a great time together but when we weren't together he treated me badly, he didnt want to spend time with me and would regulary cancel on me. i got angry about it and that would cause arguments, then when we'd make up and see each other it was lovely again, then it would happen again.... and so on.

    i think love can exist in any form, i have been treated badly by him and i still love him and want him back. i would do anything to have that!

    and i think he still loved me (at least when he broke up with me) but he just felt he needed time to be just him.

    i think you can love someone so much but still need something different for yourself

    gosh isn't love complicated!

    VW x

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