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  1. Help....Get the MoJo back

    1280787504
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 6 Jul 2010

    Right, firstly wanted to apologise for not being on here as much recently.

    But i seem to have lost my up and go sex and anything involving it. And its not like me at all!!!

    My other half is really trying but i just cant seem to find it.

    Any ideas on getting this back? Or whats even up with me..lol

    1280787761
    Cherub [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Captain
    • Posts: 35
    • Joined: 17 Apr 2010

    I found spending money here on some new toys/outfits helps!

    1280787830
    2Wicked [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 151
    • Joined: 26 May 2010

    Cherub wrote:

    I found spending money here on some new toys/outfits helps!

    Couldn't agree more!

    1280788159
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 6 Jul 2010

    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Been a few people who have this problem and it's usually nothing to worry about. Everyone has a sexual down-time now and again whether it be from a change in diet, medication, weather, hormones or just for no real apparent reason at all. It should come back eventually though. Don't worry!

    Meanwhile, you could still enjoy a sensual massage or using a sex toy on your OH instead of yourself. Don't pressure yourself and it should be back soon.

    Or, alternitively you could track down Dr Evil and have a to-the-death battle to claim your mojo back!

    LOL!

    Thanks for the comment. I'm hoping it does, although im not fully feeling it - im missing it.

    Maybe i should be more laid back about it and try and not think about it and it will come naturally again

    1280788907
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 6 Jul 2010

    This is now like my 2nd week feeling like this.

    Have had a lot going on in my life recently though which has no doubt had a knock on effect. A lot of stress and slight depression etc.

    1280789245
    toxycat [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 462
    • Joined: 25 Dec 2009

    Theres loads of factors that can have an effect on your sexdrive.....stress, general wellbeing, illness......its completely normal...everyone has ups and downs..........i go through phases too......its just one of those things..........please dont worry about it.......it will come back............;)

    1280789578
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 6 Jul 2010

    Thanks guys.

    Dont usually last very long when ive had waves of losing it before - this one has just been major.

    Thanks for your support!

    1280789682
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 433
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2009

    SexiBum wrote:

    This is now like my 2nd week feeling like this.

    Have had a lot going on in my life recently though which has no doubt had a knock on effect. A lot of stress and slight depression etc.

    Depression is one of the worst things for sex drive hun. Honestly don't think about it too much. And 2 weeks is nothing! Toxi and AA are totally right. It happens to all of us at some stage or another for various reasons. Just dont put any pressure on yourself. I also think that sensual massages and touching your partner without it having to lead to sex is a great idea...especially if you're feeling down. You probably need the intimacy but if you're not feeling sexy then dont take it quietly onto yourself and feel bad. You'll be fine, just go easy on yourself!

    1280790357
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 6 Jul 2010

    merry cherry wrote:

    SexiBum wrote:

    This is now like my 2nd week feeling like this.

    Have had a lot going on in my life recently though which has no doubt had a knock on effect. A lot of stress and slight depression etc.

    Depression is one of the worst things for sex drive hun. Honestly don't think about it too much. And 2 weeks is nothing! Toxi and AA are totally right. It happens to all of us at some stage or another for various reasons. Just dont put any pressure on yourself. I also think that sensual massages and touching your partner without it having to lead to sex is a great idea...especially if you're feeling down. You probably need the intimacy but if you're not feeling sexy then dont take it quietly onto yourself and feel bad. You'll be fine, just go easy on yourself!

    Yeah im hoping i fall back into it soon.

    I might try the massage option and just being close to him in other ways to slowly kick start things maybe.

    Cheers again

    1280790526
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 433
    • Joined: 5 Feb 2009

    good luck with it hun. Just try not to worry too much about it. It will come back soon enough. Massages are great and theres lots of lovely massage goodies on here...also theres games you might want to try etc...but it depends on whats going on inside you. You might just need a bit of time and some loving affection at the mo?

    1280790792
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 6 Jul 2010

    Sounds good.

    Before all this kicked in we were very high wired - lots of bondage stuff and heavy sex. Maybe my inside is just telling me i need to go back to basics for a bit.

    And in honesty i would love that to be truthful.

    Any recommend massage stuff or tips?

    1280791214
    toxycat [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 462
    • Joined: 25 Dec 2009

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/s.cfm?term=massage

    Loads of lovely stuff on here.............just take your time......dim the lights........take things slowly........massage can be so intimate.....my oh loves it.............!!

    1280826835
    tronic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 313
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    Low mood can kill libido, if you can find a way to fix the low mood, the libido will surely return!

    I hope you have success, try not to pressure yourself out of it, that will only make things stay wonky.

    1280827783
    sexynurse09 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 736
    • Joined: 21 Sep 2009

    I agree with the others hun, whatever you do don't pressure yourself, it will just make it worse and make a huge deal out of it. I'm sure it'll come back, I go through phases like that where I just have no interest in sex at all. Just comes back when i'm not expecting it! xx

    1280828547
    Kinkyfish [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 217
    • Joined: 20 Jul 2007

    After the birth of our youngest my wife lost hers, Its still not back properly, we went from 2 to 3 times aday to 2 or less a month. now were at about 3 times a week. We tried lots of things, we bought lots of things that never got used (now getting through them), she has changed her diet she also takes some supliments which seem to help.

    As the male part of the relationship i found i wanted sex so much that when we finally did have sex it wasnt as good as i wanted it to be because it had been so long and because i didnt know when i was getting some more.
    I also find that when im without sex i want it and when i get it i want more and more.

    1280832941
    Ilovemyman [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 614
    • Joined: 7 Dec 2009

    Hello as the others have said it's normal! I find the more sex or sexual contact i have the more i want! You said about going back to basics, i think you are right and some times we forget about the massaging, kissing and touching, i did a special night for my oh around Valentines day, i cleaned the house, ran him a bath, got a couple of bottles of champagne, played manogamy, (if you haven't got this game i reccomend it ) and had a lovely night maybe doing something like that would help? Good luck xx

    1280833829
    toycar69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 574
    • Joined: 13 Jul 2010

    Kinkyfish wrote:

    As the male part of the relationship i found i wanted sex so much that when we finally did have sex it wasnt as good as i wanted it to be because it had been so long and because i didnt know when i was getting some more.

    Yes, I know that feeling!

    Hi SexiBum, when you say your drive has gone, do you mean you aren't having a lot of sex, or are you just "going through the motions" for your partners benefit?

    My wife found that when we were having sex even less, her libido went through the floor, even though she enjoyed it when we did get round to it. She decided to make a concious effort, and try and do it once or twice a week, and she found that as she was having more sex, she wanted it more. This may be far away from what you are experiencing, as in our low point I was lucky if we were doing it once a month, but I just thought I'd share my experience.

    1280836614
    tronic [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 313
    • Joined: 27 Feb 2010

    toycar69 wrote:

    Kinkyfish wrote:

    As the male part of the relationship i found i wanted sex so much that when we finally did have sex it wasnt as good as i wanted it to be because it had been so long and because i didnt know when i was getting some more.

    Yes, I know that feeling!

    Hi SexiBum, when you say your drive has gone, do you mean you aren't having a lot of sex, or are you just "going through the motions" for your partners benefit?

    My wife found that when we were having sex even less, her libido went through the floor, even though she enjoyed it when we did get round to it. She decided to make a concious effort, and try and do it once or twice a week, and she found that as she was having more sex, she wanted it more. This may be far away from what you are experiencing, as in our low point I was lucky if we were doing it once a month, but I just thought I'd share my experience.

    I have the same experiences as both of you gents. Lately my OH has been making that conscious effort and it makes her more inclined to think that way and I have hope it will get up to a satisfying level sometime.

    For sure pressure and stress do not assist this process though. :(

    1280854218
    Firewolf [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
    • Posts: 143
    • Joined: 28 Jul 2010

    If pressure and stress are an issue, you might want to try erotic massaging. This will relax your muscles (well, some of them) and maybe (hopefully!) spur some arousement as well.

    Using fingernails,tips, palms, massageoil, tongues, lips, and your teeth can add a lot to the fun!

    My OH loves getting massaged before and after sex when he's had a stressfull day, and it does add a lot- in my experience.

    1280956381
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant
    • Posts: 29
    • Joined: 6 Jul 2010

    toycar69 wrote:

    Kinkyfish wrote:

    As the male part of the relationship i found i wanted sex so much that when we finally did have sex it wasnt as good as i wanted it to be because it had been so long and because i didnt know when i was getting some more.

    Yes, I know that feeling!

    Hi SexiBum, when you say your drive has gone, do you mean you aren't having a lot of sex, or are you just "going through the motions" for your partners benefit?

    My wife found that when we were having sex even less, her libido went through the floor, even though she enjoyed it when we did get round to it. She decided to make a concious effort, and try and do it once or twice a week, and she found that as she was having more sex, she wanted it more. This may be far away from what you are experiencing, as in our low point I was lucky if we were doing it once a month, but I just thought I'd share my experience.

    I sometimes feel like i'm going along with it at the moment to please the OH as i dont want him to be offended and think its him etc. He knows im having issues with it all at the moment and he also a little unsure on how to approach me about it.

    Im not as lucky as most of you on here lol - i dont live with my OH so only get attention from him at weekends. So once a week if im lucky is my lot.

    Once i start though i do agree with the rest of you i want it more and more. Which is how we had got before i lost it. Ive now just no up and go to do it. Its frustrating me as well

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