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  1. how to be dom - help!

    1278408667
    missmayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    my lover wants me to be more dom when we have sex and I am enjoying exploring this. but I struggle with knowing how much to tease/withhold and when to give pleasure and how to give pleasure while remaining in character. He isn't into lots of pain and I want to really get him turned on but not let him cum till I say so.

    Can you help?

    1278408853
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't particularly help but I can recommend the purchase of some restraints. Personally I think the Sportsheets under bed restraints would be a great way to start things off. I'm sure Love Honeys very own Hella Rouge will have some advice to give on the actual dominatrix side of things though. :)

    1278415658
    missmayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    thanks Muz. I think my question is less about toys and more about what to say and how to say it. How to do things that give him pleasure but retaining a "strict mistress" tone.

    1278416012
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    missmayhem wrote:

    thanks Muz. I think my question is less about toys and more about what to say and how to say it. How to do things that give him pleasure but retaining a "strict mistress" tone.

    Yeah, that's the part I think HR excels at, that and latex anyway. I'm sure you'll have plenty of helpful advice by the end of the day from the community but I do really recommend those restraints, I love my set!

    1278416693
    missmayhem [sign in to see picture]
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    ok cool will keep checking back ...

    1278429186
    merry cherry [sign in to see picture]
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    Aww thats some great advise! Liking your tips Hella! x MC x

    1278501358
    RubberJin [sign in to see picture]
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    Have a google for "T&D" or "Teasing & denial", it's quite popular. If you just want ideas for being more dom, then have a scout round the various video porn sites (xhamster, youporn, extremetube, etc.) and search for "femdom", you should get about a billion hits ;)

    1278794291
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
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    This is something i alos have an issue with.

    My OH loves it - i really like the idea of us being able to switch roles and let the other take control once in a while. But i always seem to freeze when it comes down to me taking control of him.

    I can think of numerous ways to do this when we are apart from each other and talking naughty, but then get together and it stops. We have been together over 4 years - so its not like i dont trust him or im afraid, and we have experimented in pretty much every area i know of.

    Anyone have any tips for how to give myself a kick up the bum and make him and me pull this off.

    Thanks

    1278794663
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Blindfolds can be helpful to stop you feeling watched!

    If your OH is blindfolded and you tell him/her to lie on a bed you can take control quite easily.

    There are quite a few threads with tips somewhere... Might be worth digging up.

    1278794886
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Here is a thread that I think has some tips in:

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/forums/orgasm-army/sex-tips-and-advice/45089-female-domination-femdom/page-4/

    and some of the earlier pages of course.

    1278794950
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Blindfolds can be helpful to stop you feeling watched!

    If your OH is blindfolded and you tell him/her to lie on a bed you can take control quite easily.

    There are quite a few threads with tips somewhere... Might be worth digging up.

    Thanks for your response. Will see what i can find. Been reading the Dom/Sub thread as well.

    I easily do as im told by him and i and love it, and ive blindfolded him and had my wicked ways but i dont feel like its enough anymore.

    1278795154
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    I think words are really powerful and one of the easiest ways to convey 'power' unfortunately you often feel a bit of a knob saying stuff! It takes practice. It might be easier to talk to him when he is blindfolded so he can't make eye contact and embarrass you!

    Of course there are lots of things to try to that other members might chip in with.

    Good luck and happy domming!

    1278795472
    SexiBum [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    I think words are really powerful and one of the easiest ways to convey 'power' unfortunately you often feel a bit of a knob saying stuff! It takes practice. It might be easier to talk to him when he is blindfolded so he can't make eye contact and embarrass you!

    Of course there are lots of things to try to that other members might chip in with.

    Good luck and happy domming!

    Yeah - i think thats why i freeze - i always feel like im making a tit of myself.

    Blindfolded and talking to him could be a way forward i guess - like you say no eye contact to throw me off track

    Cheers x

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