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  1. How do you explain kink / BDSM to a newbie?

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    Naughty Devil [sign in to see picture]
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    I also fully agree with the comments on trust from everyone else

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    CurlyCoupleWife [sign in to see picture]
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    KinkyWolf wrote:

    My 2p is start simple and find out what she really doesn't like. Perhaps you could open a conversation with something like 'Is there anything unusual you would like to try in sex?'. Even if she responds with a negative then shes bound to bounce the question back to you.

    I can see the value in this (as you don't want to jump into something that terrifies her) but I disagree. If you'd have asked me 2 years ago I'd have hated the idea of ball-gags - look far too scary. But having explored restraints, flogging, spanking and whipping my eyes have been opened and I kinda like the idea of getting one. I would tend to agree with the comments thus far that suggest you explore gently with her.

    I'd also avoid putting any fixed ideas into her head - you might block something that her innocent eyes might offer you an insight to. (As an experienced dabbler in BDSM you may have become set in your ways - she might have a whole new exciting take on it).

    You have experience of this kind of play but you don't have experience of it with her. Therefore it's new to both of you. Enjoy!

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    *Emma* [sign in to see picture]
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    I think the best way to start is to show her tbh. Start with blindfolds and cuffs maybe hot wax and massage, she will soon realise how it heightens your senses and makes orgasms even more explosive!! Then move onto gags, ticklers and then whips and paddles etc. x

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    *Emma* [sign in to see picture]
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    ps Get the book an education of victoria.... has a fair bit in it which she may find arousing and want to try out herself http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=12979 x

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Not really sure where to put this, just came across it on a random wiki spree:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Algolagnia

    Apparently there is a physiological reason some people actually do enjoy pain. This should shut up the prudes who think enjoying a bit of kink is a sign of a bad childhood or what not.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Yep.. Tis true.. I read some interesting stuff about it ages ago.

    That explains that weird Ad one then...

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Huh?

    Joke. She gets off on some things I would consider painful. Strange girl.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Avrielle_Aniko wrote:

    Yeah, Thats more physical than physcological though, sorta.. But yeah, it's the same kind of thing really.

    Yeah, physiological not psychological, the physical make up.

    As you say there is a mental and physical parts to pain, fascinating and almost incomprehensible for those on the other side.

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    jackador123 [sign in to see picture]
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    Start off light little things then ease her into the world of BDSM, and she if she likes t or not. Don't pander her though only makes sure she is comfortable with it all.

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    Despina Rose [sign in to see picture]
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    I found this website very good and it explained a lot. http://www.altsubmission.com/beginner.html

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