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  1. I think I need a guy to answer this ...... (No offence to the ladies !)

    1275897343
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 2 Jan 2010

    Hello !

    Well , to the point - sometimes my man "Comes" without any build up / climax / orgasm . He isn't aware it is going to happen and then it shocks him as much as it does me when he realises that he has.

    I've not had that many partners and TBH as much as I love my man, he isn't that fantastic in the bedroom ( Although we are working together to try and change this. Anyway, thats another issue. ) None of my ex's have ever had this happen and I am not sure if it is "Normal" ? As far as I was aware from past experiance, men do build up and climax just as much as women.

    Any ideas guys ..... ??

    Thanks in advance

    1275898001
    walrus [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi Yummy, I don't think there is a "normal", everyone is different in their sexual reactions.

    But just to clarify - do you mean he doesn't even feel like he's having an orgasm?

    There are a few "endurance" or "desensitising" condoms you can get from Lovehoney, but I think they have got some pretty mixed reviews. May be worth taking a look.

    1275899600
    mac8391 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Lieutenant Colonel
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    • Joined: 26 Dec 2006

    Hi yummy

    I agree with walrus there is no normal, also are we talking one push inside then cum or as soon as he takes it out of his trousers he's a loose cannon?

    Best way to solve or to try i think is masterbation so he can learn when that point is and hold off.

    One last thing is this a new relationship or been happening awhile?

    1275900830
    walrus [sign in to see picture]
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    The old joke used to be, stop yourself coming by trying to think about something else, like your tax return, car mechanics or something that is not sexy. I have never tried that myself, but who knows, it may work. But if your guy doesn't even know he's going to come - you can't think about fixing the car the whole time you are having sex!

    1275903730
    SEXYGET 69 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    Hiya Yummy! Not seen you around for ages girl. Like the chaps said there is no normal but he needs to know when he's about to climax so he can control it if possible. He's probably not getting all the build up sensations that go with the final orgasm and make it better. Masturbation to the point of coming then holding back ie- using his kegel muscles to tense the lower area up and stop himself from ejaculating will work wonders over time. There's quite a bit on the forums about kegel control already. He could also use some sort of pussy masturbator to practice or fleshlight as that's one of their uses! Maybe a cock ring? Hella Rouge has just written a brill blog post on cock rings! Trying to concentrate on something non sexual during sex absolutely works I've done this myself on many an occasion. The mind is a powerful tool isn't it? I think desensitizing creams are only a quick fix and learning to control these things yourself are much better. But deffo look into the kegel control yummy. Best wishes. SG x

    1275913743
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
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    Without orgasm? So he just ejactulates? Is it definitely not 'pre-cum'?

    1275913966
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 696
    • Joined: 18 Apr 2010

    WandA wrote:

    Without orgasm? So he just ejactulates? Is it definitely not 'pre-cum'?

    This was what I was thinking. We all leak seminal fluids before ejaculation or does your OH actually shoot his load? Is this without stimulation or during sex acts? If it's during sex then it's definitely no big deal, he just needs to work on realising when he's about to ejaculate and hold back in a process known as edging. Kegel exercises should also help with it.

    1275914447
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Are we talking after waking too?

    I've heard most men have a splodge in the night!

    1275914605
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Are we talking after waking too?

    I've heard most men have a splodge in the night!

    I think the whole wet dream thing only happens if your not ejaculating frequently enough. Just a way of the body to get rid of the old sperm and allow the newly matured sperm to take their place as sperm is being constantly produced but takes 2-3 months to mature.

    1275919299
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 2 Jan 2010

    walrus wrote:

    Hi Yummy, I don't think there is a "normal", everyone is different in their sexual reactions.

    But just to clarify - do you mean he doesn't even feel like he's having an orgasm?

    There are a few "endurance" or "desensitising" condoms you can get from Lovehoney, but I think they have got some pretty mixed reviews. May be worth taking a look.

    Hi Walrus,

    No, he had no idea until literally the second it happend and then he just said "Oh, sorry " and was kinda shocked himself.

    1275919426
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 290
    • Joined: 2 Jan 2010

    mac8391 wrote:

    Hi yummy

    I agree with walrus there is no normal, also are we talking one push inside then cum or as soon as he takes it out of his trousers he's a loose cannon?

    Best way to solve or to try i think is masterbation so he can learn when that point is and hold off.

    One last thing is this a new relationship or been happening awhile?

    Hi Mac

    We are not talking one push but he can be a bit quick sometimes ; a minute if we are lucky

    However the two are not always connected, he does feel it sometimes when he is a bit quick.

    1275919462
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
    • Posts: 290
    • Joined: 2 Jan 2010

    Oh and Mac - its not a new relationship, a few years now

    1275919520
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    • Joined: 2 Jan 2010

    walrus wrote:

    The old joke used to be, stop yourself coming by trying to think about something else, like your tax return, car mechanics or something that is not sexy. I have never tried that myself, but who knows, it may work. But if your guy doesn't even know he's going to come - you can't think about fixing the car the whole time you are having sex!

    Yeah, I have mentioned this to him, he says he has tried it , but if he has, it hasnt helped much

    1275919919
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Brigadier
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    SEXYGET 69 wrote:

    Hiya Yummy! Not seen you around for ages girl. Like the chaps said there is no normal but he needs to know when he's about to climax so he can control it if possible. He's probably not getting all the build up sensations that go with the final orgasm and make it better. Masturbation to the point of coming then holding back ie- using his kegel muscles to tense the lower area up and stop himself from ejaculating will work wonders over time. There's quite a bit on the forums about kegel control already. He could also use some sort of pussy masturbator to practice or fleshlight as that's one of their uses! Maybe a cock ring? Hella Rouge has just written a brill blog post on cock rings! Trying to concentrate on something non sexual during sex absolutely works I've done this myself on many an occasion. The mind is a powerful tool isn't it? I think desensitizing creams are only a quick fix and learning to control these things yourself are much better. But deffo look into the kegel control yummy. Best wishes. SG x

    Hiya SG,

    Yeah, long time, how you been ?

    I must admitt, your answer worried me a little bit, you said "He's probably not getting all the build up sensations that go with the final orgasm." Is that my fault then? Am I doing something wrong ? Or is it medical ? Got me wondering now ....

    The pussy masterbator seems a good idea. Will mention it to him.

    Nice to hear from you again x

    1275919969
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Without orgasm? So he just ejactulates? Is it definitely not 'pre-cum'?

    Hi WandA

    No , deffo not pre-cum

    1275922834
    walrus [sign in to see picture]
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    Not trying to speak for SG69, but I'm sure he wasn't suggesting you were doing anything wrong. About the "build up sensations", for me at any rate, I know I am going to come for about half a minute before I actually do, and it builds up to it. I may be able to stop it during that time, maybe not. Usually not, come to think of it!

    Have you looked up Premature ejaculation on Wikipedia? It's a very well-known and widespread problem and your guy may just be having an aspect of it.

    Us guys just sometimes get too turned on by you ladies . . .

    1275931167
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    walrus wrote:

    Not trying to speak for SG69, but I'm sure he wasn't suggesting you were doing anything wrong. About the "build up sensations", for me at any rate, I know I am going to come for about half a minute before I actually do, and it builds up to it. I may be able to stop it during that time, maybe not. Usually not, come to think of it!

    Have you looked up Premature ejaculation on Wikipedia? It's a very well-known and widespread problem and your guy may just be having an aspect of it.

    Us guys just sometimes get too turned on by you ladies . . .

    I didnt think he was suggesing it , as such, it just got me thinking lol.

    I think he does have a form of P.E as I said he does come quick quick , frequently .... but he knows about it ( Sensation wise - not to say I have a strop ! )

    But as I said I didn't think this would be connected with not being aware

    1275932157
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    It sounds like he has premature ejaculation then, maybe seeing his GP would be able to help him out? Also, and it's definitely not a long term solution, but being drunk acts as on the autonomic nervous system and will prolong ejaculation.

    1275935912
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    Muz333 wrote:

    It sounds like he has premature ejaculation then, maybe seeing his GP would be able to help him out? Also, and it's definitely not a long term solution, but being drunk acts as on the autonomic nervous system and will prolong ejaculation.

    Good idea, but he is a good boy - T-Total

    1275937359
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    How is he at the erect part of things?

    One of the best things that often works for PE is cumming before sex. Most men will last longer the 2nd time... but you don't always feel like it afterwrds and some men take longer to get hard again than others.

    Good luck!

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