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  1. Is it possible to "De-Sensatise" yourself ?? (TMI WARNING)

    1275306247
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    Hiya !

    As the title asks ...... I was wondering because ; Well , I am a bit of a S.P.A (Self Pleasure Addict ) - I ummmm , "Play" quite a lot ....

    Any way , recently although I am still as highly sexed up and want it as much as ever with my lovely OH , but it seems to be taking me longer and longer to "Cum" through oral or using fingers - I mean at least 15 mins sometimes . My OH made a comment (Jokingly) that maybe where I satisfy myself so much , I may have "Numbed" myself a bit on my clit. (As when I play, I do focus on that ) But I thought about it afterwards and maybe he has a point ??

    What do you think ?

    Thanks in advance ! x

    1275306815
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    From what I'm aware it is possible but its only a short term thing. It may also take longer for some people the longer they have been with a partner. If you have had more sex than usual then this might make a difference too, I also recently posted a great science link on relationships and how our bodies have a 'recovery' period after orgasm that last last up to a week!

    Its nothing to worry about and 15mins isn't so bad!

    1275307684
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi WandA,

    I really hope it is (OMG I Cant believe I am hopefull for something to be short in the bedroom , lol !)

    Would like to see the link you posted if I could please .... ??

    xx

    1275307902
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey LY,

    It is not possible for this to happen and no studies have shown that vibrators can cause harm.

    They can numb you for a bit, this is normal, and a vigorous sex session can leave us just as tingly without any buzzing extras.

    Every now and then, an article will surface that tries to scare women away from vibrators. There's as much truth in them as 'masturbating makes you blind.'

    We have more nerve endings in the clit than any other part of the body. In my opinion, encouraging blood flow and having orgasms can only be a good thing.

    You won't become 'addicted' to the vibrations either and the vibrator won't replace your partner.

    If you are worried about your sensitivity, have a chat with the GP. It's very common to experience changes in sensitivity and your doctor can advise little things to help like diet and changes in medication.

    Hope your mind is at rest.

    PS this website is fantastic. It's aimed at young people but I recommend it to everyone because it's positive, open minded and educational

    http://www.scarleteen.com/article/advice/do_vibrators_cause_a_loss_of_sensitivity

    1275309106
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    It is more likely that it's mental than physical - if you've gotton used to the idea of coming so easily with toys you may find it more difficult when you have to put that little extra effort in when with a partner!

    Its worth working on relaxation when with your partner and not pressuring yourself to come "now" focusing on the pleasure and removing the "goal orientated" aspects should help a touch.

    Ax

    1275310340
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    Perhaps it's just because of the sheer amount of play your doing? I know as a guy it takes me longer and longer to orgasm after each session in a night but it generally doesn't carry on over a day or two (assuming I don't play during that time).

    It is possible to desensitize the penis by gripping it too hard during masturbation and is commonly referred to as the colloquial term "Death Grip Syndrome". However the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis head and I've seen no evidence to suggest rigorous play can cause a loss of sensation down there.

    I think it's likely your just in your refractory period after orgasm where climaxing again that day is harder to achieve. If your really worried try abstaining from sex and play for a week and then have sex and see if there is a difference in the time it takes you to climax.

    1275310443
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    From what I'm aware it is possible but its only a short term thing. It may also take longer for some people the longer they have been with a partner. If you have had more sex than usual then this might make a difference too, I also recently posted a great science link on relationships and how our bodies have a 'recovery' period after orgasm that last last up to a week!

    Its nothing to worry about and 15mins isn't so bad!


    I probably should clear up that bit, although TL and Ad have pointed it out more clearly... I think my response might imply there is some damage involved or such. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply that, I meant to imply 'numbing', as was mentioned, or an increased tolerance to stimulation in the short term.

    Some people suggest masturbation for men as a 'cure' for premature ejaculation, simply to increase their tolerance to stimulation not as a way of damaging the good to last longer! I suggest a similar thing can happen in women.

    As Ad mentioned it may be a mental thing, I know when I'm more likely to last longer when getting regular sex. If it's the first time in a while it be a bit more overpowering.

    Either way, don't worry!

    1275311274
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    WandA wrote:

    Some people suggest masturbation for men as a 'cure' for premature ejaculation, simply to increase their tolerance to stimulation not as a way of damaging the good to last longer! I suggest a similar thing can happen in women.

    Either way, don't worry!

    Yeah, this was what I tried to get at in my post as well. I hypothesis that it just takes a bit of time to restock on neurotransmitter to reach the threshold for the compound action potential that brings orgasm. The Death Grip Syndrome can also be "cured" by just gripping it softer for a couple of weeks.

    The take home message is of course, don't worry. There is no way your going to damage the afferent sensory neurones!

    1275313402
    Lookin - Yummy [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey everyone !

    Thank you all for your replies

    So, to summerise what you are all basically saying ; I should take a break from self-pleasure and possibl sex too for a week or so ? ( I see the logic but I feel it will be like asking a life-long smoker to instantly quit , lol !)

    I am pleased to hear I haven't caused damage (Phew !)

    Maybe a chat with the DR may be in order if things don't get sorted, but in the meantime , where's that chastity belt gone ???? LMAO

    PS

    I guess that will be my next question ; How do I not do it ?! Lol

    1275313719
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    Well, I'm not the best one to ask about abstaining anyway. I more or less can go to sleep or get out of bed in the morning without some action. If you can focus on work/study/hobbies for a few days as it doesn't need to be as long as a week then you should be good to go.

    Or you could just accept things the way they are and keep it up. I'd probably go with that option in all honesty!

    1275313725
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    Lookin - Yummy wrote:

    Hey everyone !

    Thank you all for your replies

    So, to summerise what you are all basically saying ; I should take a break from self-pleasure and possibl sex too for a week or so ? ( I see the logic but I feel it will be like asking a life-long smoker to instantly quit , lol !)

    I am pleased to hear I haven't caused damage (Phew !)

    Maybe a chat with the DR may be in order if things don't get sorted, but in the meantime , where's that chastity belt gone ???? LMAO

    PS

    I guess that will be my next question ; How do I not do it ?! Lol

    Nooo, I don't condone this at all. Pleasure and orgasms and fantastic.

    You may want to switch it up though. Try new things and and explore.

    And can I say, and orgasm in fifteen minutes will be regarded by many as BLOODY AMAZING. 15 minutes is not a long time at all and your OH shoud be very, very happy.

    1275313790
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    Apparently I can't type today

    1275313950
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    Oh yeah I forgot to say what Tigerlillies said, 15 minutes for a women isn't a long time at all. Also it could be down to what others have said and just be psychology. If this is a relatively new partner you mean not be fully relaxed in bed with him yet which will hold you back from your orgasms.

    1275313962
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    PS both men and women need to become aroused to have an orgasm. It's physically impossible to overide this part and the clt is not a joy buzzer that guarantees an orgasm in seconds. Niether can a man come from 5 seconds of 'hand-on-penis.'

    It sounds like you have a really healthy happy vagina that you're in tune with.

    When your partner doesn't last too long in the sack, do you ever suggest to him that he's spanking the monkey too much? Hope not!

    1275313989
    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
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    I'd try doing things slightly different to normal like using a different stroke or varying speeds/pulsations with a toy x

    1275314035
    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    I can't either Tiger, I meant to write "may" not "mean" and I'm mixing words up quite a lot on these forums and I don't know of any way to edit posts. Do we even have an edit function?

    1275314037
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
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    PS, maybe try delaying your orgasms with hours of foreplay. It can be just as amazing as a quickie and can lead to bigger orgasms.

    1275314196
    Wizzie86 [sign in to see picture]
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    I think that is an excellent suggestion TL. No Muz, there is no edit function for various reasons - I'm sure there is a post explaining why somewhere x

    1275314254
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Tigerlilies is spot on - the best you can do is explore, take your time - enjoy the sensations not just the orgasm!

    15 minutes is nothing (I take minimum 20!) so I shouldn't worry. Take the pressure off, make sex less goal orientated and more pleasure orientated and you'll find you don't even notice how long it takes you to come!

    Ax

    1275314344
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Wizzie86 wrote:

    I think that is an excellent suggestion TL. No Muz, there is no edit function for various reasons - I'm sure there is a post explaining why somewhere x

    It's to prevent trolls popping on, being abusive then deleting the message so they can't be caught.

    If you *really* want a post editing the mods have the power to I think but it will only be if your post is garbled beyond understanding.

    Ax

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