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  1. Help..Partner needs stimulation.

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    Charly [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Guys,

    Me and my guy have been together over a year and we are very passionate but right from the start of our relationship he would need physical stimulation of his penis to get erect.

    I have no problem with this as it is how he is and it's nothing to do with how attractive he finds me.

    My problem is this...his prefered method of stimulation is blow jobs but i'm getting tired of constantly having to suck him off to get him hard (it feels a little one sided). I want to try new/exciting ways of physically stimulating him with out hand jobs or blow jobs...any suggestions???

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Have you tried tasing him with your pussy? A warm wet soft pussy stroking over him might give him the stim to get hard and be more pleasurable, or perhaps try 69'n do both of you enjoy it?

    Good luck.

    1274970366
    Charly [sign in to see picture]
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    Thanks for the input guys.

    That TENGA egg seems like a good idea. We have quite a few sex toys but most of them are for my benefit so it would be good to get something in for him.

    Have you guys got any good tips for wanking techniques...i'm a little heavy handed and as a result not so great with teasing or hand jobs.

    @Avrielle: I have spoken to him about it and he understands, apparently his past partners couldn't handle his problem and so moved on but i'm not as shallow as that so I want to try and plase him the best I can. Other than this problem our sex life is great! We are both very experimental but this seems to be a bit of a sticking issue.

    @WandA: Haha 69 would be great but I lose concentration and end up giggling as i'm quite ticklish (silly I know).

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Not silly, my OH won't let me have stubble because it tickles! There might be some solutions/positions for mutual oral that work.

    Lube! Works wonders on almost any sexual technique.

    Well done on not taking it personally too! Things like that are rarely a partners fault... I would also suggest maybe he gets it checked out at the docs. His issue might be wider of a bigger health problem.

    Sorry my answers are short and possibly not very helpful, I'm supposed to be revising. :/

    Good luck and hope you stick around the forums!

    1274972806
    Charly [sign in to see picture]
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    I am on LH all the time but never joined the forums.

    Your answers are helpful and I will look at trying some new positions for oral that will benefit both of us. Since having a baby 8 months ago i've gone really sensitive down there...strange :D

    Maybe I should ask him to direct me and teach me the things he likes...apart from the BJ's of course as I have that down to a fine art now after 12 months of it hahaha.

    We never have a session of just foreplay...it always ends in sex so maybe we should just try exploring each other for a while and really learn what makes each other tick.

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    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Charly wrote:

    I am on LH all the time but never joined the forums.

    Your answers are helpful and I will look at trying some new positions for oral that will benefit both of us. Since having a baby 8 months ago i've gone really sensitive down there...strange :D

    Maybe I should ask him to direct me and teach me the things he likes...apart from the BJ's of course as I have that down to a fine art now after 12 months of it hahaha.

    We never have a session of just foreplay...it always ends in sex so maybe we should just try exploring each other for a while and really learn what makes each other tick.

    Good idea with the foreplay! Sensual play can work, blinfolding each other and just teasing each other with touch.

    Sounds like you need the build up too! I get tickly down there but after some build up and foreplay it tends to subside!

    Axx

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    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    I guess I have the complete opposite problem, I'm constantly erect when around me girlfriend, clothes or not which is surprising after being together for so long.

    I think the best advice has already been given to you, a good ol'69er will make the experience more of a mutual rather than one sided affair. Another idea would be to have him use one of your toys on you? I would find it hard to believe that any man out there would not get fired up from delivering pleasure to his other half.

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    Gwennie [sign in to see picture]
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    Wow that seems really sucky...pun intended.

    Sorry, anyway have you tried maybe trying something a little different. Tie him up and give him a strip-tease, touch yourself infront of him, see if that gets a rise out of him :)

    1274975938
    Charly [sign in to see picture]
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    We have cock rings but have yet to use them.

    Once he is erect he is fine and can go for ages. The thought of sex or seeing me naked gets him a little excited but not enough for penetrive sex hence why I have to add a little stiffness using my mouth. It's not that I don't enjoy BJ's I'm just bored of it plus it also gets him so close that when we do have sex we have to take it slow for the first while until he has regained some composure.

    Thanks for all your suggestions guys, I will definatly suggest them to my partner.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    headsouth wrote:

    No mention of cock rings yet, have you tried them? It's more directly physically affecting that sensual and arousing, but would help a little wood get there more easily.

    Very good point headsouth.

    Can also add stimulation for yourself Charly.

    I would still suggest talking with a GP even if its nothing to worry about.

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    Another thing might be if he likes the wet feeling to try some sloppy hand jobs with plenty of lubricant, to keep everything nice and slippery. My OH loves silicone lubes - they are very thin but extremely slippery, they dry out very very slowly and you dont need much so you can feel absolutely everything!

    Or perhaps have a play in the shower together? Just make sure you don't get any bubbles near your lady bits unless they are specifically for that area. Another idea I haven't tried yet but apparently is amazing is a hand job in the bath, if you get the water level just right sitting just under the head of his penis he can get some amazing different sensations - warm, cold, wet, dry, etc.

    The main thing is just to have a play around and for both of you to have fun without putting any unneeded pressure on each other to achieve anything, otherwise it is less likely to happen, enjoy yourselves and each other. Lol I sound like Jerry

    x

    x

    1274980333
    Charly [sign in to see picture]
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    I think part of the problem could be that with two young kids and a demanding schedule that when we do go to bed it's sort of a quick fix approach.

    We never spend time getting in the mood with subtle touching and teasing before bedtime. Maybe if we spent time getting loved up before foreplay that might help. I suppose there are so many answers to my question i'll just have to try different thing...it'll be fun.

    @headsouth: I'm not a very girly girl so i'm not into SaTC or chick flicks although my name is Charlotte so maybe stamps is the way to go :P

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    masterandslave [sign in to see picture]
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    Just grab a tub of moisturiser that you've got to hand and give each other a back rub - great place to start.

    x

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    RotorTorque [sign in to see picture]
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    I've got exactly the same problem as the OPs boyfriend. I get a semi just through playing around but need stimulation to get fully hard. I don't think it's that uncommon?

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    Artel [sign in to see picture]
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    It may just be that that is what does it for him.

    Without wishing to appear unsympathetic to the OP, I would be interested to know what peoples responses would be if the genders were reversed.

    eg. I'm getting fed up of girlfriend always wanting me to go down on her before sex. Why can't she just get aroused enough for penetration from kissing etc.

    You say that it feels a little one sided. Is that the main issue?

    Does your OH not reciprocate?

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    Muz333 [sign in to see picture]
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    masterandslave wrote:

    Just make sure you don't get any bubbles near your lady bits unless they are specifically for that area.

    Ha, you just try getting my other half's lady bits away from the jet streams in the bath, sometimes I think she loves that bath more than me!

    1275144046
    Charly [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi guys,

    Well last night we final managed to spend a decent amount of time exploring each other and finding out our turn on's etc.

    I started off with lying beside him stroking his chest and stomach with my finger tips while I kissed his sensitive sides and inside of his arm. Then moved on to the testicles and shaft whilst lightly kissing and licking the head. He got quite hard before I even got the the kissing part so that was surprising.

    He then did the same to me, finding my sensitive areas under my buttocks and my lower back. We did a sideways 69 then he went down on me for awhile and then we reversed roles so he still got his much loved BJ but it was great to have him finally go down on me after almost a year!!

    We managed about 1hr of foreplay and then 45min of actual sex so all in all it was a good night. It was nice to reconnect in a way which we haven't done since the first few time we had sex.

    Thanks guys for all your input.

    @Artel: Being one sided wasn't the only issue and no he never used to pleasure me in anyway before we had sex. I went like this...BJ, me on top, BJ, me on top, finish. It's not because he is selfish, it's just the way he is turned on and he obviously wasn't aware of his other turn ons.

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    Charly [sign in to see picture]
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    @Avrielle: Oh we did tit wanks last night as well. I am lucky to be well endowed in the chesticle area (despite my back ache lol). Will be definately picking up a TENGA egg or two though and maybe some other male toys.

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    WandA [sign in to see picture]
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    Congratulations!

    Sounds like a good night, sometimes people can be a little clueless when it comes to sex and it just takes a bit of gentle nudging to get remind your partner what you want.

    Time is a crucial point too. We often don't make enough time together with our busy lives and just putting aside an hour or two gives us the time for build up and lots of foreplay.

    If you think he's being lazy, try asking for him on top for a change too!

    Good luck and happy sexing!

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    telemachus [sign in to see picture]
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    Good to hear you made some progress, hope it continues.

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