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  1. Anal complications

    1273157111
    Twinkle-toes [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Officer Cadet
    • Posts: 2
    • Joined: 3 Apr 2010

    Hi,

    Recently my hubby has been suggesting we try anal (him on me). I know he is very sensitive around his anal area, and I play with him during foreplay, which he loves, but when he touches me there, it doesn't really do anything for me. I've told him I'm not keen on the idea, although must admit to being a little curious, so haven't written it off completely. I have read various posts here about building up in size and learning to relax, so I thought I'd experiment myself a bit first. I have a slim smooth vibe, which I lubed up and tried, and although it went in OK and I just left it there for a few minutes, I didn't really get any feeling or stimulation from it. I used it swtiched off, so as not to overdo things, but even after my first attempt, I was sore all day!

    At the moment, I am thinking what he has never had, he won't miss, so I;' reluctant to start giving him a taste for anal, incase I can't go through with it.

    However, heres the rub (if you excuse the expression!). Since I was pregnant nearly 10 years ago, I've suffered from piles. Not on a regular basis, but they do flare up every so often and I get bleeding and pain, which I treat with suppositories. I guess my experience of putting anything in my bum has been marred by this, plus I am worried that if there is already damage inside, attempting anal is going to make things worse.

    Any advice appreciated, thanks guys and gals!

    1273157881
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 999
    • Joined: 12 Jan 2010

    Twinkle-toes wrote:

    Hi,

    Recently my hubby has been suggesting we try anal (him on me). I know he is very sensitive around his anal area, and I play with him during foreplay, which he loves, but when he touches me there, it doesn't really do anything for me. I've told him I'm not keen on the idea, although must admit to being a little curious, so haven't written it off completely. I have read various posts here about building up in size and learning to relax, so I thought I'd experiment myself a bit first. I have a slim smooth vibe, which I lubed up and tried, and although it went in OK and I just left it there for a few minutes, I didn't really get any feeling or stimulation from it. I used it swtiched off, so as not to overdo things, but even after my first attempt, I was sore all day!

    At the moment, I am thinking what he has never had, he won't miss, so I;' reluctant to start giving him a taste for anal, incase I can't go through with it.

    However, heres the rub (if you excuse the expression!). Since I was pregnant nearly 10 years ago, I've suffered from piles. Not on a regular basis, but they do flare up every so often and I get bleeding and pain, which I treat with suppositories. I guess my experience of putting anything in my bum has been marred by this, plus I am worried that if there is already damage inside, attempting anal is going to make things worse.

    Any advice appreciated, thanks guys and gals!

    Hi, Twinkle Toes, thank you for posting.

    First of all, if you try out anal with your hubby and you decide that it's not for you, don't think he won't be able to go without it. Despite what some men say, anal is not oxygen.

    Your piles sound like you need a chat with your GP to get them nipped in the bud. It may be worth pointing out to him your concerns over how this effects your sex life too. Your doctor will know what is and isn't safe for your particular case. A lot of sexual enjoyment is psychological and if you're worried about your health then it's going to be even more difficult to experiment .

    Some women find anal toys are more pleasurable during intercourse. This is because they can tighten up the vaginal canal and apply pressure to that area, making it feel different for you and your partner.

    It's great that you're starting slow and using a of of lube, but make sure you try anything new when you're aroused. Perhaps try getting yourself worked up your usual way then incorperate the vibe to your play. This way it might accentuate things and you'll feel less like you're just there with a toy hanging out your rear.

    May I ask what vibe you are using? If it's slim it may not be suited to anal play, stimulation wise and safety wise. Anything without a flared base can be swallowed up by an involuntary spasm and then you're due an awkward chat in A&E.

    It's always fun to have a browse of the anal toy section.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/

    The vibrating butt plugs and beginners kits may suit you well. The Tracey Cox kit goes down well.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16561

    You may find, after time you only like toys, or your partner's penis, or perhaps both. But if you don't dig it, communicate this and your hubby will respect you for sticking to a boundary.

    1273160108
    Tigerlilies [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: General
    • Posts: 999
    • Joined: 12 Jan 2010

    One final thing, the new browser options allow you to look at toys by what size they are. There's a big range of slim line products out there and this Basic model is a bargain

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053

    Hopefully some OA members will share some experiences of how they discovered if anal was their thing and if that changed over time.

    For me, anal was a don't-even'go-there-not-in-a-million-years thought. Then I became curious and after eight hours of teasing, playing and orgasms I gave the green light (lots of lube helped too)

    These days it's still something I have to be in the mood for. Like everything else in the bedroom! Sometimes I crave it, other times it will be once in a blue moon.

    With a lot of people their preference for anal can depend on their partner's size. A 'trim' man can make an ideal butt buddy but if your lover is making you uncomfortable there's no point in trying to push through the pain. In fact any pain is a great sign to stop, retreat and try again later.

    1273165326
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    We have the basic posted by TL. Heres my OKish review and plenty more!

    It is a lot smaller than many others so might be worth a try.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053&reviewid=23730#customer_reviews

    1273169343
    Gyrator53 [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Major General
    • Posts: 865
    • Joined: 27 Sep 2007

    I agree that you should have your haemorroids checked out by your GP. However, I don't think you need to consider that these may preclude anal sex. I used to suffer mildly from them myself but since I have been fairly regularly pegged by my dear wife I have stopped having any problems. There was an old-fashoned 'cure' for haemorroids called Lord's dilation which was effectively putting a significant butt-plug up there under some degree of anesthetic so I guess our activities have had a similar effect.

    1273169410
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    • Posts: 3406
    • Joined: 2 Feb 2008

    WandA wrote:

    It is a lot smaller than many others so might be worth a try.

    http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053&reviewid=23730#customer_reviews

    We have this and it's really fab, it's very soft and flexible so virtually painfree for me!

    As TL said - see your GP about the pain and try and not worry too much about things hurting - it's not an issue if you need to stop because of tenderness so you shouldn't worry too much!

    I have pain every time I have sex (I know - bummer!) and having a positive frame of mind about it helps.

    Also try to relax and just enjoy external play first, using loads of lube and fingers, condom barriers and tongues can relax you up a little so that slipping a finger on mightn't hurt too much. Don't lie there worrying and worrying that it's going to hurt and you want to make your partner happy, just build it into normal sex - perenium play can feel fantastic so start with that and work your way backwards. If it hurts. Stop! You can always try again another time - bum fun needs to be a slow, gentle build up - there's no need to rush from finger to cock in three sessions!

    And as TL said - if it's not for you, and you've tried then your OH should be fine about it!

    Good luck

    Axx

    1273229307
    RubberJin [sign in to see picture]
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    If it hurts, you probably need more lube. I tend to put a bit of lube on a toy, slip it in as far as it will easily slip, then remove and repeat, adding lube and going a bit further in each time. If it ever hurts, stop! You will probably feel something down there after your first few times, and whenever you step up a size of toy, because you are stretching things more than they're used to, but as long as you'r careful it shouldn't be painful.

    I find it's also easy to remove a toy too quickly, take it as carefully going out as going in.

    1273249595
    BashfulBabe [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 716
    • Joined: 24 Apr 2010

    Definitely doctor's visit: even if everything's dandy, and it could even help the situation, you're going to worry about it until you have an expert look and give you the go-ahead. Put your mind at rest at the very least.

    Maybe don't aim so hard, sounds like you're putting a lot of pressure on yourself. Remember, you're not doing this "for him" - if you really were, you'd be doing it without trying to get into it, cue martyr complex - this is something that can be really, really good for you (can you tell I miss it?), and while you may be one of those for whom it never does anything, but be selfish about it! Stop trying to make what he's doing pleasure you, start trying to pleasure yourself, basically. Very brave to just go for it, but honestly, try playing around, see what feels good, and if you don't even manage to get anything up there, then so what? He can wait until you're ready, or not expect it, don't tell him you'll make yourself ready for next weekend or anything, just go for no (or yes if you're ok with it as it is for now) and if/when you find what YOU like, then you can show him, and if that never happens, then big whoop, he'll live. Try just using the vibe against your anus - not penetrating, and with no plans to penetrate - while playing with yourself. See if just the vibrations feel pleasant. But remember to stop thinking of it as "homework", I think you're just trying too hard to feel it, which will tense you up no matter how relaxed you are.

    1273269700
    Alicia D'amore [sign in to see picture]
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    Hella Rouge (LH) wrote:

    Try some http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3432.

    If you give Analeaze a go - be very careful as it can make it easier to damage yourself without realising due to the desensitizing aspect which will be more painful the following day. Take things slowly and it shouldn't be a problem but something to be aware of,

    Axx

    1273270445
    WandA [sign in to see picture]
    • Rank: Field Marshall
    • Posts: 6177
    • Joined: 28 Nov 2007

    AdnaW wrote:

    Hella Rouge (LH) wrote:

    Try some http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3432.

    If you give Analeaze a go - be very careful as it can make it easier to damage yourself without realising due to the desensitizing aspect which will be more painful the following day. Take things slowly and it shouldn't be a problem but something to be aware of,

    Axx

    Yep! As annoying as pain is it serves a very useful purpose! Listen to it.

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