1. Pegging for beginners

    1588174349
    Stewart Senior [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi, me and my partner are going to be trying pegging soon, something i have wanted to do for a long time and something she has never thought about but is willing to try for me and to see if she enjoys it. We are both new to toys and have been messing with a few things for the past year and lots of clothes etc and its been great, so i have a good feeling about this too.

    My question is, how if in anyway can i make this better and more enjoyable for her? and also is there does and don'ts as to what and how you go about pegging? like maybe should you not eat for a while, do you need to douche down stairs first?

    Any advice and tips most welcome :)

    1588180050
    rockstar [sign in to see picture]
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    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/community/members/rockstar/

    We have found harness briefs to be easier to use than strap type harnesses.

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37885

    If you want your partner to enjoy the experience too then you might consider a 'strapless' strap on. They can still be used with a harness or harness briefs if your partner's Kegel muscles are not up to the task of gripping it for along period of time (quite common).

    If you like vibration then either type can be bought with this feature.

    https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16276

    Size really depends on what you are comfortable with. We tend to use dildos around 7-8" long and 3-4.5" circumference but we have quite a bit of experience with anal play so you may want to start with something smaller.

    We use Lovehoney's own water based anal lube.

    1588180145
    TickleMeTots [sign in to see picture]
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    Hey Stewart Senior,

    Excited for you guys to try pegging, definitely mixes things up a bit! Hopefully, you'll both enjoy it ^_^

    Not going to act like I'm all that knowledgeable about it, all I can do is comment on what I've learnt from the past year after having introduced it into the bedroom with my partner.

    Yes to the douching, this will make you both more comfortable in terms of cleanliness and help to avoid any unwanted accidents :'D

    For her pleasure: We have the Lovehoney Desire Strapless Strap-on which give you both pleasure through internal vibration, but will also give her clit stimulation as well. Only issue I had with this is it isn't as secure as one with a strap, which can make things a little awkward. If you use one with a strap, you can get ones which have pockets which will hold a bullet, so again she will receive clit stim that way. And as mentioned above, the strap makes it a lot more secure, meaning certain positions easier and there's also more control.

    Take things slow to start with, use a few toys before going at it with the strap-on, and of course, LUBE! 

    Toy mentioned above: https://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=37750

    1588194896
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    Hi stewart, 

    How experienced are you with anal play; as if you have not done any, going straight into pegging is a big ask, both for her, and you. assuming you have done anal play before, I would make sure that you have been to the loo, try inserting a dildo if it doesn't come out clean it may be necassary to douch. It's not recomended to douch too often as it can intefer with you gut bacteria.

    Note that it's better to douch in several small goes, rather that fill yourself up. As the excess water can put in an apperance some time later, at the wrong time. Give yourself a bit of lead time if you need to douch, just to be shure that all the water you put in has come out again. If you find you don't need to douch, this can make it much easier to for it to be spotaneous.

    Start by loosening up your anus with her fingers or dildos, this will make it much easier for her to get the strapon into you, and if she decides to try a strapless one, it will put less strain on her pelvic floor muscles. Meaning it will make it easier for her to hold onto the dildo with her vagina. 

    Avoid any positions where you are on top, so that should any of your bodily fluids come out, it does not end up entering her vagina. Your anus does not self lubricate, but you colon does, even if you douch you can still pass bowel mucus. The act of anal sex may stimulate your colon to produce an execess of mucus. It does with me. 

    For her, she can wear jiggle balls which jiggle as she thrusts, a vibe tucked between the harness and her clit. If the harness does not have a bullet pouch, a flat type clit vibe will do the job. A strapless strapon takes a fair bit of confidence and strong keggles to keep it in. It will provide her with internal stimilation, a pair os harness briefs may help keep it in place. 

    You may find that until she gets used to how to thust like a man, then a full harness will be easier for her to control the dildo. Also with a harness the dildo can be moved up or down to get the correct position of the dildo on her body, by adjusting the harness straps. This can also be used to get her end of the dildo in a position to rub her clit as she thrusts, or to move it if it's causing any discomfort. 

    It is possible to use the harness with or without to dildo backing pad, try both to see if that provides stimulation for her, or it may be uncomfortable. If needs be an face cloth behind the dildo can provide a buffer.

    1588195412
    Alicia4Ever [sign in to see picture]
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    You will find that doggy is a good position to start with, as she can see what she is doing, and also if needed you can push back onto her to get it in at first. She may feel that she is going to hurt you, so you backing onto the dildo will ease her mind. Tell her to keep the strokes short and deep, or long but slow, to start with, it's easy to get carried away in the fun in the begining, and do you an injury.

    Then you can have fun trying other positions once she has got the hang of things. 

    Back to your bowels, make a note of when you eat and when you have to go to the loo, that way you may be able to plan a douch free session. Don't starve yourself before hand, that's not needed or desirable. 

    1588215066
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
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    The first time Mrs Sen and I tried pegging, she was wearing internally her remote love egg (fifty shades of grey one) and I think her butt plug too. This gave her physical stimulation internally (although not clitoral) as well as the emotional / mental connection that the act brings.

    Her fears are likely to be not wanting to hurt you, unlike when you insert your penis, there is minimal connection between the end of a dildo and your partner, she will need guidance on when it is in the right spot, how far in is good for you and at what pace to proceed with thrusting. You will need to be very communicative during these phases.

    Also, make sure you are 100% at ease with the toy that will be inserted, I'd suggest using it solo initially, or, with her watching while you are 100% in control so she can see how you react to the toy.

    Talk afterwards too, tell her what you liked and what could be improved upon next time. Build up her confidence if you want to do it again, really emphasize not only the physical sensation but also the mental side of the change in roles.

    Part of her fear could also be if you like the sensation of a dildo, you might want to try a real penis at some point. Only you will know what you do and don't want (and some women do fantasize about their male partner having sex with another male). Although married 20+ years now, Mrs Sen has brought this up a few times. She says it in a "joking / poking fun" sort of way (without being cruel), but the fact that the thought is there indicates it is in her mind at some level (even deep in a subconscious fear). I reassure her that I have no desire for a real penis, that it is her that I want to be with and that I feel extremely close when it happens.

    You will both need to be somewhat relaxed and open to whatever transpires. Remember, if you are delving into anal play, there is a chance of a mess. As Alicia4Ever says, you can take certain steps to reduce the chances of it occuring, but, $hit happens. Clean up and move on, don't freak out and remain calm and in control.

    Most importantly, have fun

    1588295782
    Stewart Senior [sign in to see picture]
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    Amazing advise guys. I have been messing with bits of butt plugs and dildos etc but we just haven't gone all the way into  and even solo play with the toys creates more mess than I am expecting sometimes. She has raised the question as you said Sen about me maybe wanting to be with a man, which I don't and reassure her (doesn't help I love to cross dress too)

    but we can only give it a go and see what happens. It's always been a fantasy of mine and I am sick of putting it on the back burner and being too scared to talk about it haha. Thanks again ☺️

    1588305860
    Senator [sign in to see picture]
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    Timing is everythig with butt play. I'm no Sheldon Cooper, but my time of the day for a sit and think is usually in the AM, this essentially eliminates the possibility of anal play during our normal sex sessions (mostly weekends in the morning before kids are up), and although I will most often wear a butt plug, I am careful about its extraction!

    Sometimes it can also depend on how your gut is, if settled and things are normal, then there is quite a big window of opportunity where the risk of soilage is minimal, but if you have an upset tummy and are going more frequently than normal, then the chances are much higher.

    I'd be inclined to really plan ahead for the first time. Be mindful of what you eat the day or 2 beforehand (I'm a real chilli head, but spice can react badly with many). Plan the session at least a few hours after you would normally go to the loo and maybe 1-2 hours before your sessions, do a good dooch. Your risk of mess will be pretty much at its lowest. You could always warm up with some plugs or other toys before the session too, that way you will be more sure there won't be a mess.

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